Keep it in perspective

I just watched the New England Patriots make pro football history. Undefeated. 16-0.

I came to my computer to check the news and the "Breaking News" story was about the Patriots.

Let me preface that I am a big football fan. NFL. College. High school. I like it all.

But while many of the citizens of New England celebrate an undefeated season, they will drive by defeated people sitting on street corners, living in cardboard boxes, and struggling to survive. People, often defeated by situations beyond their control, will spend tonight in the cold. They will go without a meal.

There are people who probably paid more for a seat at this "historic" game than many people in the world earn in a year. All to watch a sporting event.

Like I said, I really enjoy football. But when entertainment consumes us and the justice of God becomes a footnote to our lives, have we lost our way?

Tonight and in the days ahead, sports analysts and armchair quarterbacks will spend hours and hours talking about where this 16-0 season stands among other sports accomplishments. Meanwhile, there is a good chance someone will sit outside of a sports bar wondering why no one is paying attention to him. While multi-million dollar athletes celebrate winning a game, someone will likely lose their life due to the effects of poverty.

I am not saying we should never enjoy entertainment. I am not saying that the New England Patriots' accomplishment should go unnoticed. But in the grand scheme of Creation, let's keep it in perspective.

shine!
Jason

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone! I came across this and it made me think of the many men and women who are away from their families this Christmas because they are serving around the world in our military. Thank you.

shine!
Jason

 

12 Days of Christmas

My wife, who loves barbershop/a cappella style music, came across this on YouTube. Even if this style of music isn't your thing, I think you will enjoy it. Merry Christmas!

shine!
Jason

Season of giving

Last night was one of the highlights of the year for me. Our ministry hosted our second annual "Adopt-a-Family" evening. We work with God's Helping Hands to find a family to adopt for Christmas. This year we were blessed with a family of five as well as a senior citizen.

Around 6:30 pm, we gathered in The Hub (our main teen room) for a Christmas meal consisting of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and a lot more. (The real work started earlier when several parents and students started cooking the meal.) This was a fabulous meal - not just because of the food (it was yummy!), but because of the spirit in the room as well.

Imagine a room of over 60 people sitting around tables sharing a meal. In the center of this collection of people sat our honored guests. It was a festive and cheerful time.

As we wrapped up our meal, our honored guests came up on the stage, joined by a few students. We had some furniture on the stage next to the Christmas tree with gifts underneath. The teenagers took turns handing out gifts and enjoying the experience with our guests.

I want to take a minute to tell you how much I love the parents and teenagers that are a part of the Rochester Church. They are loving and compassionate people who are willing to give of their time, resources, and energy. They are salt and light in a world often draped in darkness. From the people who donated money, to those who shopped for the presents, to those who helped prepare, to those who were a part of the evenings activities, there were dozens of people who made this a special night. 

By the end of the evening we had provided a family with winter coats, boots, gloves, and more. Shirley, our senior citizen guest, received several gifts, including some gift cards to help with gas and other living expenses. Then we surrounded our new friends and prayed over them. I think Shirley expressed the most important gift she received when she said to the crowded room, "I don't feel alone anymore."

The apostle Paul said, "And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" (Acts 20:35) My prayer is that through Adopt-a-Family, our families have experienced the truth of these words.

shine!
Jason

Philosophy of Family Ministry

One more excerpt from my Family Ministry Plan for my grad class…

Ministry is most effective when it is framed in the context of family. For the last several decades, many churches and para-church organizations seem to have created and built ministries which effectively treat each member of the family as a separate entity. Ministries such as Promise Keepers, as well as traditional youth ministries and children’s ministries, focus primarily on the needs of specific ages and genders.

While addressing the needs of dads, moms, teenagers, children, and other groups of people has its place in the family of God, we cannot minister to these specific groups while essentially ignoring the complexity of the family as a living, breathing entity. Especially in the local congregation, we must have an overarching approach to ministry that includes and involves the entire family. When we miss that piece of the puzzle, we will often work to fix the pieces without considering how they will all fit back together.

Youth ministry seems to be one of the worst offenders when it comes to dissecting families. For years, traditional youth ministry has aimed to minister to teenagers while mostly ignoring – and sometimes even combating – parents. Many youth ministers have looked at parents as the enemy. This is an unhealthy approach that can place the youth minister at odds with those who should be his greatest ally. This segmented approach to youth ministry often ignores the fact that the most powerful minister in any teenager’s life should be her parents.

Family ministry demands a different approach for all ages and stages of life. It calls us to find ways to equip and empower every member of the nuclear family and the larger church family, regardless of a particular person’s family situation. Whether working with a single young adult, a young couple, families with children, families with teens, or adults in the later stages of life, we must consider the needs of the individuals as well as their role and needs in the context of the faith community. This is central to the purpose and function of family ministry.

Family ministry must seek ways not only to help the individual members of a family; it must also strive to help various family members work together in the process of spiritual formation. In the words of Diana Garland, "family ministry is helping persons live as they ought to in family life, according to the purposes and promises of God."¹

Essentially, family ministry is a place where people learn to live together according to God’s design for relationships. It must be proactive in an effort to prevent problems while also remaining prepared to react to situations that arise. Family ministry that only waits for disaster to strike or pretends everything is fine is destined to fail. One will always be running to catch up and the other will not be ready to deal with the realities of life in the 21^st century.

¹Diana Garland, Family Ministry (Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Academic, 1999), 367

shine!
Jason

A Biblical Framework for Family Ministry

Below is an excerpt from my Family Ministry Plan for my grad class...

Throughout history God has worked through the family to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of others. It may not have always been through the “traditional” family that many American churches espouse today, but the family unit, in various forms, has been central to God’s redemptive work for generations.

Community, a key characteristic of any healthy family, is central to the character of God. In the persons of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we witness a divine being who is community. The relationship between the persons of the Godhead illustrates that community is not something God created solely for us. Community is who God is. Since we are created in the image of God, community within family must be a primary vehicle for ministry.

Even early in the history of God’s people, we see an emphasis on spiritual development that is based in the family. As he reminded the nation of Israel about God’s commandments, Moses stood before them and spoke the following words:

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NLT)

Long before organizations such as Focus on the Family, God was instructing His people to live by example and teach about faith in the context of the family community. To the nation of Israel, ministry and spiritual development was not a program, it was a part of life.

The apostle Paul echoes the sentiments of Moses in his letters to Ephesus and Colosse, where he emphasizes the importance of spiritual formation in the family. Paul’s letters included the following comments to families:

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4, NLT)

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. (Colossians 3:18-21, NLT)

Throughout the unfolding story of the people of God, we are reminded of the importance of anchoring spiritual growth within the context of family. It is in the family where people know us best, and living out grace and mercy is often the most challenging. I believe this is why God focuses on the family as one of the most important places for spiritual growth to occur.

shine!
Jason

Why doesn't he/she like me?

In the final week of the six part series titled "God, Are You There?", we discuss dating and how God created us to connect with members of the opposite sex.

Why doesn't he or she like me?

Skeletons in the closet

If you look at the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1, you find that Jesus comes from a family with skeletons in the closet.

You find Tamar, a women who disguised herself as a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law Judah, because of a broken promise in the family.

Later we find Rahab, another prostitute.

Ruth, a women who was not even a Jew, owns a place in Jesus’ line of descendants.

David and Bathsheba, who committed adultery that led to the murder of Bathsheba’s husband Uriah, are one of the centerpieces of Jesus’ family history.

I find hope that when we look back at the generations that preceded Jesus, He had a family with a host of issues and problems. Jesus, like many of us, has a family with plenty of things to hide or be ashamed of.

If you are ever embarrassed about or frustrated with your family, look at where Jesus came from. If God can bring a Messiah from a family with a history like this, imagine what He can do in our lives, regardless of where we come from.

shine!
Jason

A sore thumb

Today I helped with Matthew's homeschool co-op and was "co-opted" into helping at one of the stations during craft time. My role was to help children use a hammer and nail to punch holes through a metal lid and make a Christmas ornament out of it.

Overall I really enjoyed helping. But (you knew there had to be a but), my experience with one girl was not so enjoyable.

For some of the younger children I would hold the nail in place while the students hammered. (You can probably see where this is going.) Suffice it to say that this girl's aim with the hammer was off a bit.

I can't count on one hand, including my thumb, how many times she missed the target and made contact with my finger or thumb instead. My thumb was the most violently violated victim when her swing of the hammer made direct contact. Ouch! It still hurt several hours later.

However, the joy that little girl and her parents will experience as she hangs that ornament on the Christmas tree will be worth the pain.

Isn't the community we call the church often the same way? We take a risk to help others, and sometimes we get hurt. It might be intentional. Often it's accidental. But in a variety of ways we are hurt by people when we seek to help them.

Instead of a bruised thumb, we might have a bruised ego.

In place of a wounded finger, we might find hurt feelings.

Helping people often requires risk. The risk of being let down. The risk of broken promises. The risk of rejection. The risk of disappointment.

If you are thinking back to times when you took a risk to help someone and ended up getting hurt, think about the following: When God sent Jesus to Earth, He took a huge risk. And what do we do in return? Let Him down? Break our promises? Reject Him? Disappoint Him?

God understands your risk. He can relate to your pain. But like God, we must continue to take risks to help others. It's a part of our mission and our call to follow Jesus, even if it means pain and suffering. Think about what Jesus was willing to suffer. It's a lot worse than a bruised ego, hurt feelings, or a sore thumb could ever be.

shine!
Jason

Technical difficulty

Due to a technical difficulty, this week's 180 Connections lesson was not recorded. Next week is the last week of the current series, "God, are you there?"

The Gift of Sex

I just finished reading the book The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment, by Clifford & Joyce Penner. This book is great, and not only for the reasons you might think.

This is the most honest book I have ever read about sexual intimacy. These authors are practical, honest, straight-forward, while remaining faithful to God's plan for sex.

This book reinforced some things I already knew and provided fresh perspective on some other things. While I know that sexual intimacy is God-ordained for marriage, the Penners reminded me of why this is so and how God created sex specifically for a husband and wife.

Sex is designed to enhance intimacy between husband and wife. It creates bonds that were only intended to be shared with one person. True sexual intimacy requires open communication, honesty, and vulnerability.

In an age when sex is often treated more like recreation than a special, valued connection, this book reminds us that sex in a marriage can be powerful, wonderful, and better than anything we see on TV or in a movie.

True sexual satisfaction comes when it isn't about us. God created us to be giving beings who find our greatest satisfaction from sharing, not taking. Unfortunately, our culture surrounds us with messages that sex is about getting all we can out of it.

All you have to do is wait in line at a grocery story to see what I mean. It seems as though almost every women's or men's magazine has at least one article on the cover about how to have better sex. In our instant gratification society, we seek sexual fulfillment as another entitlement or service that brings us pleasure.

This flies in the face of God's plan and design for sex. It is really about our willingness to set aside our desires and connect with that one special person who we have committed our life to. It is intended to be a selfless act where we seek the pleasure of the other person to such as extent that we find pleasure as well. When we can do that, our marriages will be stronger, our families will be healthier, and we will be better prepared to live out the message of grace and mercy that God has authored for us.

Sexuality is not primarily about a physical act. It is about being created in the image of a relational God who calls us to share an intimacy with our spouse that reflects the nature of God.

shine!
Jason

Permission to question

I love working with teenagers. I guess that is why I do what I do.

I love the questions they ask. They wrestle with faith. They question God. They address issues that many adults either are afraid to or don't know how to.

I love the fact that they don't think they have all the answers.

But these years can be a struggle for adults, especially parents.

As a parent of a six-year-old, I am beginning to understand the investment parents make in their children. I think about the hours I spend reading the Bible with Matthew. I reflect on our prayers in his bedroom, around the kitchen table, and at various other times. I smile when I remember the theological discussions we have had about God, death, and so much more.

I can imagine the frustration a parent must feel when this child in whom they have invested over a decade begins to seemly reject all of the effort that has been put forth. I have witnessed the anger and sorrow of parents who feel like their children are walking away from the faith that has been taught and lived out around them.

My message to parents is to give your teenagers some space to sort out things for themselves. I am learning that the surest way to push your kids away from Jesus is to insist they never question what you believe. Do you want your teenagers to reject God? Then reject their questions, doubts, and faith struggles.

This can be so hard. But until teenagers have the freedom to take your faith, wrestle with it, and come up with their own faith, they will not develop into mature followers of Jesus.

Let me address a practical issue that seems to often come up when I am having this discussion with someone. This does not mean that there are no boundaries and guidelines. Wrestling with faith is not a license for a teenager to do whatever he or she wants. Questioning God's guidelines on sex is not an open invitation to experiment sexually. Doubts about whether or not God exists does not give a teenager permission to be disrespectful about your faith or church.

I don't believe there is one right way to navigate this rocky stretch of road in the spiritual formation process. Every teenager is different. Every parent is different. Every journey is unique.

However, if we want our young people to become healthy, mature followers of Jesus, we must afford them a safe space in which to ask questions, share their fears, and think out loud about matters of faith in God. This is not the easy route, but it is the one that is best. And isn't that what we want for our children in the end?

shine!
Jason

Night lights

Every night when it comes time for Matthew to go to bed, he walks over and turns on his night light. It provides a little light in the middle of a dark room. It provides comfort and assurance. It let's him know that he can see if anything or anyone is in the room. It helps him see if he wakes up in the middle of the night. It keeps dark things at a distance.

It's not all that much different when we get older. We walk under the street lights. We look forward to the porch light being on when we get home. We are more comfortable walking into our house at night when there is a light on.

Light. Dark.

Good. Evil.

As he announced the birth of Jesus, Zechariah spoke these words...

Because of God’s tender mercy,
      the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
      and to guide us to the path of peace. (Luke 1:78-79)

The morning light of heaven did indeed break upon us. This Light walked among us. This Light did give light to those sitting in darkness and the shadow of death.

The woman caught in adultery had another chance.

The blind man regained his sight.

The dead found new life.

This week I witnessed the shadow of death. I followed news reports of an athlete gunned down in his own home. Just as he was turning his life around, it was taken from him.

I also dealt with death closer to home as a teenager who used to be a part of the Rochester faith community was killed in a car accident. While I never knew this young lady, her death has significantly impacted some of the families at our church.

Why do these things happen? Why do good people experience death and suffering?

While I don't understand everything that happens in this world and can't answer those questions completely, I do know one thing. God calls us to be a "light from heaven" that "gives light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death."

We don't have to understand all of the "whys" to know the "how." Regardless of why people are killed or suffer or experience pain, we are often the "how" that God uses to bring healing to these situations.

It's OK to ask the why questions. There is nothing wrong with questioning God in these moments. But at the same time, we must strive to bring light to times of darkness. In the midst of questions and struggle, we should offer a hand of compassion.

When darkness seems to rule the day, we can be the night light that provides comfort and assurance for those who are hurting.

shine!
Jason

Is this what a friend is?

In the fourth week of the six part series titled "God, Are You There?", we consider Jesus' advice about maintaining healthy friendships through forgiveness.

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Thankful for families

What did you do this weekend? Did you travel somewhere to see someone? Did you stay in town? Did you host a gathering at your home on Thursday?

Thanksgiving means different things to different people. For me, it’s often a reminder of family members no longer around. It reminds me of my grandma, who was always smiling and always laughing. It reminds me of my uncle who would constantly joke with my dad about turtle soup. It reminds me of my mom, who would do anything for anyone.

Ultimately, for me, Thanksgiving is about family. It’s celebrating a group of people I am thankful for. People who are no longer around. People who have moved. People who are newer. Together they are family, an always changing, but always constant presence.

That’s what God intends for the church to be. Family. A place where we feel connected. A place to belong. Church, a family that goes back hundreds of years and looks ahead into eternity.

I am so thankful for the family of faith I am a part of today. It is a place of love, compassion, patience, kindness, acceptance, and so much more. It is a place I love to call home.

shine!
Jason

Black Friday

This morning at 4:15am, my cell phone alarm went off. I reached over, turned it off, and sat up.

"What on earth am I doing up this early?" was the question I asked myself.

I proceeded to jump, rather crawl, into the shower. After getting dressed, I walked out the door around 4:50am.

I arrive at the Wal-Mart parking lot at 4:55am. I remember the time because I was trying to decide if I wanted to stand outside for five minutes or wait in my car until they opened the doors. I figured it wasn't that cold, so I would join the small army gathered outside the doors of this temple of consumerism.

After a few minutes, the doors opened. The herd - since this is what a group of people look like at 5:00am leaning in one direction - bolted into the store. I watched some of them walk briskly. Others decided to forgo the facade and simply ran. A few hundred people charging for their deal of choice.

Let me stop here for a minute. As many of you may know, this day is known as "Black Friday" because it is the day retailers begin to make a profit - or something to that effect.

I would say the name is right, but for a different reason. There didn't seem to be much "light" present this morning. I'm not referring to the lack of sunlight at 5:00am. I am referring to the lack of things like kindness, patience, and humility. It seems rather ironic to me that the "official" kickoff to a season originally centered around someone known by names such as the "Prince of Peace" and "Lamb of God" would look more like an episode of Jerry Springer or a scene from the LA riots.

I was amazed as I watched people push and shove. Some people grabbed as much as they could fit in their shopping cart - or carts. I saw one women go to an island of board games and grab nearly a dozen of each game and drop them in her cart. Some folks were in such a hurry to get the best deals that they decided to forsake the cart and just grab as much as they could carry.

As everyone was invading the store like soldiers on a seek-and-destroy mission, I witnessed very few smiles and a general lack of cheer. Isn't that the whole point of the season "tidings of good cheer"?

Now don't get me wrong. I was there this morning to purchase a few items on behalf of my wife, who was shopping with her sister at some stores several miles away. We decided to "divide and conquer" so we could be good stewards of what we have to spend for Christmas this year. I am not opposed to shopping early to save money. (Well, maybe I am opposed to getting up THIS early. But I try to be a good husband.)

My challenge this morning - and the challenge for all us during this time of year - is to continue to be beacons of light in the midst of darkness. We are called to be kind, patient, humble, and loving, even when those around us are not.

Let me finish with one brief story. I tell you this not to brag, but to give a small example of what I believe this light looks like.

I approached the island of children's pajamas. It was surrounded by people digging through, looking for the size they wanted. As the crowd dispersed and there were only a few people left, I noticed that many of the packages were now on the floor around the display. No one really seemed to care as they headed off for their next conquest.

It took less than a minute, but I knelt down and picked up the packages, returning them to the display. I am not sure if anyone noticed, and it really doesn't matter.

I don't think what I did is any big accomplishment. It's not really worthy of praise. But in the midst of a Black Friday where greed and self-centeredness seem to rule the day, I was presented with an opportunity to be light and took it.

Following Jesus doesn't normally consist of big things. While we occasionally have a chance to do something "big" for God, true cross-centered living tends to reveal itself in the mundane tasks of life like shopping. It's in these moments of normalcy that we can take small steps that can change the world one person at a time.

shine!
Jason

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! Wherever you find yourself on this holiday, may God bless you and remind you of what you have to be thankful for at this time. While the list may be longer for some and shorter for others, I pray you find joy. Even in the midst of darkness, a little light can bring comfort.

shine!

Jason

 

God and the government

Last night there were a group of high school students at my house for what we call CrossTraining. This is a weekly Monday night gathering where we eat yummy snacks, hang out, and discuss life. We had a rather interesting time last night where the discussion went from gay marriage to the death penalty to swearing to drunk parents. Well, actually the last one came from my lack of listening ability. I need to tell you about this before I get to my point.

We were talking about swearing and in the midst of the discussion one of the teenagers says, "My dad and I went to a Lions game." The next thing I hear is, "He was drunk."

You need to understand that this girl's dad is a faculty member at a Christian college and not a guy I would see drinking. So I turn to her and say, "Your dad was drunk?" After everyone laughed at me (and the thought of this dad drinking), I clarified my confusion. It was a pretty good laugh.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand.

Several of our discussions revolved around the interaction of legislation, government, and faith. Should our belief about homosexuality shape our approach to laws regarding gay marriage? Should our belief about the sanctity of life impact our approach towards laws regarding capital punishment? Needless to say we had some interesting conversations.

My point, or rather my question, is this: How and when should our faith shape our approach to public policy? When do we force our beliefs on the entire nation through statutes?

I don't have a firm answer, but it is a question to ponder. As our nation seems to drift away from some Christian values, is our role primarily to fight govern policy or live out those attributes in our life? Will fighting for "Christian family values" in the public arena tend to draw people to Jesus or push them away? When do we stand our ground in a legislative battle and when do we focus more on showing the love and compassion of Jesus?

There are likely a multitude of opinions on this topic, even within the Christian community. Some would argue that we are in a battle for our country and must fight for every law to mirror Christian beliefs. Others would argue that government is no place for a Christian to be involved. And there would be positions spread out between these extremes.

As someone with a minor in political science, I have a certain passion for the study of politics and the interactions that dictate public policy. But as a follower of Jesus, I realize that, in the words of Paul, "We are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12)

Our battle is not against the government. It is a much more significant battle against the forces of evil. It is a battle that cannot be won by a law or statute. God doesn't change lives by law. That is why legalism in the church brings spiritual death.

God is a God of grace and mercy. He changes lives one at a time, individual by individual. From Adam to Abraham, Job to Jacob, Peter to Paul, God has always done His greatest work one person at a time.

God did not convince Abraham to obey Him through some ancient code. Jacob did not become Israel because of some local law. Paul didn't change the hearts of the Athenians on Mars Hill by passing a new law. God changes hearts through the efforts of His people.

While I am not opposed to Christians voicing their concerns in the public forum, if followers of Jesus would invest more time loving their neighbors by reaching into their lives and less time protesting and letter-writing, we could really make some progress.

Let me close with one example. I will begin by stating that I believe abortion is killing. I don't approve of abortion. In addition to the needless ending of a life, it often plagues the expectant mother with emotional scars for the rest of her life.

That being said, how do women wrestling with the decision of abortion see the love of Jesus when Christians stand outside abortion clinics waving signs and calling the people walking in murders? Is that showing them compassion and grace? Or is it simply throwing another log on the fire of guilt?

What if, instead, we actually took time to listen to someone wrestling with this decision? What if we sat down and let them share their pain? What if we shut our mouths and opened our ears? Would they feel differently?

Would some of those women still choose to have an abortion? I think so.

But where would those women turn in the future when the pain and regret begins to eat away at their soul? Will they turn to the condemning, sign-holding people who called them murderers? Or would they rather turn to the compassionate person who listened to them in a time of struggle?

God never called us to be voices of condemnation and hate. He called us to love even those caught in the midst of sin and struggle. Jesus Himself said, "Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do." Then he added, "Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: 'I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.' For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners." (Matthew 9:12-13)

Let us follow in the footsteps of the Great Physician.

shine!
Jason

Getting personal

What makes for an effective ministry to teens?

Powerful worship?

Relevant classes?

Great trips?

A good youth minister?

While all of these are important, I think there is one thing that is more valuable than almost everything else.

Small groups are, I believe, the most important part of an effective ministry to students. Do you need other events and activities? Yes. But will any of the others have the same ongoing impact? Doubtful.

If you are in a church with a youth group smaller than a dozen or so students, you already know this. In most churches that size, you don't have a full-time youth minister and likely have few activities for your students. And many times you don't have the budget to do very much. But if you have adults who love students and spend time with them, you have seen the benefit of small groups.

I work with a church where we have over 1,000 members and nearly a hundred students. Our budget is thousands of dollars. We have a large youth area with a sound system, projection, lighting, and a stage. I don't say any of this to brag. As a matter of fact, sometimes all of this can get in the way of spiritual growth.

I tell you all this to tell you that the most powerful part of our ministry doesn't use a large youth room. It isn't dependent on how many students show up for a Wednesday night worship time. It doesn't even really matter if I am there. This part of our ministry depends on a group of volunteers who give up every Sunday night to spend time with a group of less than a dozen students.

Our small groups are where students get connected. It's where they are known. It's where they are able to discuss what it means to be a teenager and a follower of Jesus.

For many students, their small group leader is their youth minister. This is the person they share an hour with every week. This is the adult who makes a connection with them.

I have seen small group leaders at a student's sporting event or extra-curricular activity. I know small group leaders email and call the students in their groups. Small group leaders host sleepovers and movie nights. There are even times students will contact their small group leader before me if they have an issue in their lives.

Am I offended? No.

Am I concerned about eliminating my job? No.

Am I excited? Absolutely!

In a church our size, it is impossible for one person to connect with dozens of students. But it is possible for an adult to connect with less than ten students.

That is the beauty of small groups. It creates smaller communities within the community of faith that is Rochester Church. It provides a venue when students can share something they would never share in a class of 40 students. It is a place to know and be known.

No matter how big or small your church is, you should be doing small groups. You may only have enough students for one group. But you still need to create a time and space - separate from "Bible class" - where students can connect.

One word of advice. There is no set way to do small groups, but I am convinced that there is value in single gender small groups for teens. My experience has been that there is much more openness and transparency when boys and girls are in separate groups.

If you aren't doing small groups, start them. If you need help, there are plenty of resources. I know that in the last two years, small groups have been more of a blessing to our ministry than just about anything else we have done. Let them be a blessing to yours as well.

shine!
Jason

Thanks

Thankfulness. It is central to the holiday we will celebrate later this week.

Why do we often struggle with thankfulness? When we get what we ask for, we can tend to expect it more than show gratitude.

For example, when you go to a restaurant, do you thank the waitress or just act like you were supposed to get the food anyway?

Or when a parent drives you somewhere or lets you borrow the car, are you thankful or just act like it was something you deserve?

I could probably list numerous examples, but I hope you get the point.

In our service-oriented culture, I feel like we have lost the art of thankfulness. We have come to expect things the way we want them. And when things don’t go our way, we are likely to complain about it.

Maybe that’s why thankfulness is such an important thing. It teaches us to expect nothing and show gratitude for everything. It flies in the face of the “entitlement attitude” of today’s America. It asks us to realize that the world DOESN’T revolve around us. Thankfulness challenges us to remember that everything we receive is a gift.

This Thanksgiving weekend, I challenge you to go out of your way to thank people for every little thing. Let it be a time to develop a new habit of thankfulness. And in the process, watch God open your eyes to a whole new way of looking at things.

shine!
Jason

Asterisk

I would imagine whether you follow baseball or not, you have heard of Barry Bonds. For the past couple of years he has been chasing history while history has been chasing him. While Bonds was in pursuit of baseball's career home run record, investigators have been pursuing Bonds. This past summer, Bonds caught the record. Yesterday, the prosecutors caught Bonds.

Ever since Bonds broke the home run record, there has been talk of an asterisk. A mark designating Bonds broke the record by breaking the rules. A mark that states he hit many of those home runs while using performance-enhancing substances. Yesterday's indictment for lying to a grand jury can do nothing but further stain his legacy.

Many baseball fans decry Bonds for cheating. A lot of people will say Bonds finally got what he deserved, and maybe they are right.

But how many of us as followers of Jesus put an asterisk after our names every day? How often do we engage in behaviors, make comments, and do things that cause people to question our dedication to our calling?

Don't think for a minute I am expecting anyone to be perfect or earn their standing in God's eyes. But on the other hand, what we do and say matters. It doesn't matter as much for our salvation as it does for the salvation of others.

Our words and actions make an impact. They can shape someone's view of God. They can shape someone's view of you. They can shape someone's view of themselves.

I believe that God calls us first and foremost to be people who live without sin in our lives. That means we treat people fairly, look out for their interests more than our own, and live lives of purity. We strive to do that, but we are a fallen people who don't always get it right.

This is where the other half of the equation comes into play. How do we react when we sin? Do we act self-righteous to cover it up? Do we point to other people's sins to take the attention off of our own mistakes? Do we act like everything is fine? Do we commit more sins to hide our embarrassment or frustration?

Or, are we willing to step up to the plate and face our shortcomings? Are we willing to admit our faults, ask for forgiveness, and be vulnerable?

I would argue that for most Christians, our asterisks come from the times we attempt to cover up our own sinfulness. In our moments of weakness we can tend to look like the hypocrites the world often accuses us of being.

Let's get real with the world. Let's be willing to admit we are imperfect people striving to be more like the perfect Son whom we follow. Let's remove the asterisks from our life by being transparent and living out our journey for all to see.

Maybe if we are willing to get real with the world, they will be willing to get real with us.

If Barry Bonds had been upfront from the beginning, his story would have probably turned out much differently.

If we can be upfront, maybe ours will too.

shine!
Jason

Why do things have to change?

In the third week of the six part series titled "God, Are You There?", we consider how God is a rock and refuge in the midst of the storms of life.

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More than meets the eye

You may have seen this video. If not, please take a few minutes to watch it before reading on...

Every time I watch this video, I think about how many times I judge someone. How many times have I looked at someone and placed them in a category before they even say a word or have a chance to introduce themselves?

It could be the way he dresses.

Maybe it's her age.

Sometimes it's a tattoo or piercing.

At times it's his race.

Sometimes it can be as simple as an accent.

We all find reasons and ways to judge people at first sight.

God created us each unique for a reason. Someone may look different than you, but under the surface they are still created in the image of God.

I run into this a lot in my area of ministry. Older people sometimes look down on students simply because they are "young", "foolish", "loud", or "immature." If only these adults could see the passion and compassion that lies beneath the sometimes uncontrolled energy.

At the same time I hear students talk about "old", "stupid", "boring", and "bossy" adults. If only they could see the genuine concern and love that lies behind the age gap.

Whether it's between generations, races, socio-economic classes, towns, or a variety of other man-made divisions we choose to erect, we find ways to divide.

Jesus said, "Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart." (Matthew 12:25) As members of Creation, we are all brothers and sisters created in the image of our Father. Is it no wonder Satan often gets a foothold by turning us against one another.

Imagine if Paul Potts had never been able to open his mouth and share his gift. The world would be a less rich place. It's time for every person to have a chance to share what God has given them. Rich or poor. Genius or not. Big or small. Everyone should have a voice in the Kingdom of God.

shine!
Jason

Giving...a response to having something taken away

Last night I was blessed to join a small army of parents, teenagers, and children at God's Helping Hands. If you are not aware of what God's Helping Hands is, it is a ministry that provides food and clothing for those in need. Let me tell you a little about the history of GHH.

This is from their website:

"God's Helping Hands is a community outreach coordinated by the churches of Christ. Since it began in 1998, we have been able to help meet the needs of families in Oakland, Macomb, and Lapeer counties, along with other counties in Southeast Michigan with clothing and food. With God's guidance and the help of agencies we have been able to aid over 2,100 families so far. Our prayer is that when everyone works together we can make a difference."

But this doesn't tell you the whole story.

On September 3, 1993 a special little boy was born in Auburn Hills, MI. Kevin Ray Cain entered this world as any other child, but was soon diagnosed with microcephalus, a condition in which a person has a very small head. At ten months of age, he was further diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Kevin would be unable to walk, talk, eat and play like other children. On April 26, 2001, this precious soul passed on from this life to an eternal life where he is free from pain and suffering. But in his seven and a half years on this earth, he taught his family, church and community what life and love was all about.

The financial and emotional struggles faced by the Cain’s as they tended to Kevin round the clock over the years was eased through community and church assistance. As a result of the support the Cains felt through their personal tragedy, they made the decision to “give back” to others faced with life struggles.

And so God’s Helping Hands was born….a food and clothing program that has helped over 4,600 Oakland County and surrounding area families since its inception in 1998. An average of 250-400 families receives assistance each month.

I am amazed by the heart of the Cain family. Many people likely would have folded up their tent, blamed God for their problems, and walked away. But the Cains, touched by the compassion of others, felt called to share the love they experienced with others.

Let me share with you one more story from the life of this family. (This is from the GHH website.)

When someone dies you think back and remember what they were like, things that they had accomplished or not accomplished. Memories of the time you spent together. Thoughts of what they will miss out on and what you will miss out on with them gone. But if done properly you will remember what is most important, you will remember love. How well you loved and how well you were loved. Devin Bennett William Cain was born August 6, 2002. He was special like all children, his needs were just larger. He knew what he liked and he knew what he didn't like. He loved music and listening to it, on occasion even joining in. He loved to laugh, and we all loved to see him laugh. When his Daddy would “get him” his smiles were as big as his face would allow and his laughter was loud and contagious. And like all good little brothers he knew it was his job to give his big brother a hard time. He was never shy about telling his family, his therapists, and his doctors when he didn't want to do what was expected of him. But through it all Devin had his very own special cheer section. Whether things were going well or not, he always had someone telling him that he could do it, or that it would be okay. Many got to see him take his first steps because of the technology of video, you never saw so many tears of joy. But like all sons no one could take the place of his Mom. She’s the one who could make all of the wrongs right. Devin may not have had a will or property of great value to leave behind. He does however leave behind a legacy worth more than money or gold, Devin leaves behind him a legacy of love. Anyone who ever loved him will never stop. And anyone who was ever loved by him will never forget. Devin will always be missed and life will be a little emptier without him here. But if nothing else learn one thing from Devin, that love is the easy part and it’s important to tell your loved ones that you love them. Life is short, don’t waste it on the what ifs or why nots, love outweighs it all. August 6, 2002 - June 19, 2007

Kevin and Devin both lived short, but impactive lives. Their brother Darren, now a teenager in the youth group here at Rochester, continues to serve alongside his parents. In spite of all they have lost, they continue to give.

I am surrounded by families everyday who have more material possessions than the Cains will likely ever have. But I have seen very few families who give as much as the Cains. They spend untold hours sorting clothing and food, contacting supporters, and filling out paperwork. They continue to give their time, their energy, their lives. They continue to live out lives that reflect the nature of the Kingdom of God.

If you would like to learn more about this ministry, you can visit them at http://wwwwww.ghhmichigan.org. Every time I think of the Cains and all they have been through, I think of God's Helping Hands and am reminded of the words of Paul:

Each time he [Jesus] said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

"I have never coveted anyone’s silver or gold or fine clothes. You know that these hands of mine have worked to supply my own needs and even the needs of those who were with me. And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" (Acts 20:33-35)

I see these words lived out in the lives of Brian, Lisa, and Darren Cain. Thanks be to God for a family who is willing to give, even when so much seems to have been taken away.

shine!
Jason

What a game!

Yesterday afternoon I was able to watch most of the football game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Cleveland Browns. In case you missed it or don't really follow football, the Steelers won. But it came down to a last second field goal. The Browns attempted a 52-yard field goal with seconds left to tie the game, but it came up a little short. The Steelers won and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The course of events shortly before the field goal attempt opened my eyes to a spiritual truth. (If you don't follow or understand football, I apologize for the rest of this paragraph.) The Steelers were forced to punt with less than two minutes left in the game. The return man for the Browns ran the ball all the way back to the Steelers' 38-yard line. This would have put them close to field goal range with plenty of time left to move closer. However, one of the Browns' players was called for holding on the return, which backed the Browns up over 25-yards, well out of field goal range. Using the remainder of time left in the game, the Browns moved the ball back to the edge of field goal range, but not close enough. Imagine if there had not been a holding penalty...

Isn't this really what sin does to us? We strive to grow closer to God. We move, slowly at times, quicker at others. But we try to move closer to the goal which Paul speaks about in Philippians 3. But sin, like a penalty in football, moves us further from God.

Contrary to what some believe, God is not the referee who throws the flag and moves the ball back. No, we do that on our own. We choose to take our life and move it back down the field, away from our goal. We choose to put more distance between ourselves and God.

If you are feeling distant from God right now, look at "penalties" in your life. Have you done things that have moved you away from God? God is like the goalposts in the end zone - He does not move. He was, and is, and is to come. He is the great I AM. He is the God of the universe, hoping you will draw near.

Our distance from God at any given point is not God's choice, it's usually ours. We have the ability to move closer, but are we willing to press on, minimize our "penalties," and grow closer? The victory lies before us, are we willing to take aim and go there?

shine!
Jason

A person of impact

Over the last month or so our youth ministry has been talking in small groups about becoming a person of impact. As you consider how to be an example in your speech, life, love, faith, and—tonight—purity, what steps are you taking to be a person of impact?

James says, "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it." (James 1:22-25)

Think about this:

How can the way you speak be a better witness for God?

How can the way you live your life be a better witness for God?

How can the way you love be a better witness for God?

How can the way you display your faith be a better witness for God?

How can your approach to purity be a better witness for God?

Take time to reflect on Paul’s advice to be an example in your speech, life, love, faith, and purity. Where is it that a change in your life will help expand the Kingdom of God in the place where you live?

shine!
Jason

A good laugh

In case you've had a rough week (or a good one) and just need a laugh. (For the record, my son, Matthew, thinks this is hilarious.) Enjoy!

How do I deal with school, sports, and stress?

In second week of the six part series titled "God, Are You There?", we consider how teenagers can better deal with the stress that comes with being a teenager in today's society.

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Hiding the pain

Tonight I had some teenagers at my house for CrossTraining. It's this informal Bible study mixed with social time and yummy snacks. I don't really plan anything. We just all show up and see what comes up.

Tonight we spent most of the time talking about revenge. We shared stories of times we got revenge on people. We discussed reasons why people seek revenge. Sometimes we are angry. Other times we want to get even. Often we want them to feel the same pain we do.

Aren't a lot of the the problems we have in relationships caused by trying to hide pain? I mean, think about it.

We build up walls so we don't have to share our hurt. Then we can't fully connect with people.

We fall into addictions because we want to comfort our hurt. Then we disconnect from others because of the shame of the addiction. Or we may even act out in ways that push others away.

We put others down because of the inferiority we feel from our hurt. So we place barriers between us and them.

We can get so frustrated with ourselves and get to a point where we feel like we have lost control. The apostle Paul describes this place in life well:

So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. (Romans 7:14-25)

Listen to Paul's torment as he wrestles with his sin. We all have been there at times. A place where it seems like no matter how hard we try, sin seems to win.

But I find hope in the last part of this passage. "The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord." What a relief! I am not the answer for my problems. Jesus Christ is the answer!

Now, this is not some easy, accept Jesus into your heart thing. I mean this is hard work. We cannot simply pray a prayer and expect God to wave his magic wand and our troubles go away. This discipleship business is hard work!

Which brings us back to tonight's conversation. One area where many of us struggle is anger and revenge. We want to get even. We want to strike back. But God has a different idea. Here is Paul later in his same letter to the Roman church:

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say,

   â€œI will take revenge;
      I will pay them back,"
      says the Lord.

Instead,

   â€œIf your enemies are hungry, feed them.
      If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
   In doing this, you will heap
      burning coals of shame on their heads.”

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. (Romans 12:14-21)

Did you catch that? How do we conquer evil? We do good.

We must develop the habits of reacting to bad things with good actions. This is not easy and takes a lot of work. It will require stumbling and falling. It will mean we sometimes get it wrong. It may even mean we occasionally hurt people along the way.

But it also means we have to make the tough choices and surround ourselves with people that will help us out along the way. It means we may have to say no to some things just to protect ourselves. It may require us to make significant changes in our life.

Do you want help in dealing with pain? Then it's time to share it with someone. As long as we keep it in and try to mask the pain through anger, addiction, revenge, or a host of other unhealthy methods, we will continue to suffer in the private world of loneliness and despair. God has called us to, "Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." (Galatians 6:2)  Obey that law and watch walls go down and hope blossom.

shine!
Jason

The ultimate Giver

What do you think of when it comes to giving? How has giving been modeled in your home as you grew up? Often what we practice grows out of what we witnessed as a child.

Essentially, giving is more of an attitude that an action. It involves the way we think about our money. Like many things in life, our giving is a reflection of our character.

So what do you think would limit your ability to give to others? Think about giving as more than just money. Think about what limits your ability to give of your time and energy as well.

We can get so wrapped up in ourselves that we leave little for anyone else. We invest our time, energy, and money into things we want, and often miss opportunities to give to those who have a genuine need.

Jesus was a giver on all levels. He gave of His time. Think about how many times in Scripture we read about Jesus going away to a quiet place, but the crowds followed. Jesus didn’t tell them to get lost. He ministered to them.

Jesus walked all over the place and took time to heal people, both physically and emotionally. Jesus would have walked miles to heal one person.

Jesus gave up His standing in society. The Son of God was more concerned about helping others than being accepted by the popular people of His day.

Jesus ultimately gave His life. He was willing to suffer not only the physical pain of the cross, but the spiritual suffering of separation from the Father. God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—had been in continual community for all of eternity. Jesus was willing to suffer by giving up that community with Father and Spirit so that He could have community with you and me. Through His attitude and actions, Jesus provides a model that calls us all to consider our attitude and strive to be more like Him.

shine!
Jason

It's not a cracker and a shot of grape juice

One of the things I love about Churches of Christ is that we celebrate the Lord's Supper every week. It doesn't make us better than other tribes because we do it. But I do believe that the Supper is a vital part of our faith walk. It signifies something. It says something. It holds a special meaning in our lives as followers of Jesus.

As I finished reading the Willimon and Hauerwas book Lord, Teach Us, I came across something that reminded me of the significance of the Supper.

At the Lord's Supper by faith we are made participants in God's body so that the world may know that the world is storied through God's presence. We are subsumed into the adventure of God's salvation of the world. Through this meal God united us with one another in a mystical bond. We call this a mystery not because by this meal our intelligence is confounded, but because the more we understand God's unrelenting love, the love embodied and made manifest in this meal, the deeper the mystery such love evokes.

In the Eucharist we are faced with reality that confounds our speech. It is a reality to true to be a mere matter of noble ideas and religious inclinations. This faith does its business in bread and wine. This God transforms all of our lives, even the most earthly and ordinary of our lives, into signs of divine presence. So when asked what we believe about God, we Christians tend to point to a group of former strangers eating together around a table as family called Eucharist. Or we take you to a dark river where folk are descending into the waters, dying to their old selves, rising as new creations, called baptism. The table, a loaf of bread, the bath, all become expressions of the way our Lord has intruded upon the world, claiming it as his own.

The Lord's Supper is more than a cracker and a shot of grape juice. I would even argue that it is more than just a reminder of what Jesus experienced during the Passion Week. It is a living example that God is at work among us. It exclaims that GOD IS ALIVE!

The Supper should remind us that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit, that God lives in us. We are not our own; rather, we are bought with a price. We are invited into the ongoing work of God in the world, and the Supper bonds us together.

In our Mosaic service, Communion happens a little differently than "normal." Rather than pass trays and sit quietly for the most part, everyone is invited to come to the front of the Family Room (our auditorium) and gather around the "table." We hug, we laugh, we cry, and we pray together. Greetings are exchanged. Struggles are shared. It is family time. I believe this is more like what Jesus had in mind.

I cannot really picture the Twelve sitting around the table in that upper room quietly as Jesus passed the bread. It was the middle of the Passover Meal. A Jewish meal instituted by God centuries early to remind the Israelites that God is in the business of salvation. It was a time of celebration.

In the Lord's Supper, we are still called to celebrate today. We celebrate a God who means what He says and continues to engage in the affairs of this world. As we eat the bread and the wine, as we take a seat at His table, we proclaim that we are participating in the body of Christ, the incarnation of God. We are joining with God in His effort to reclaim the world and redeem it from the darkness of sin. We are reminded that God is not some distant deity waiting to destroy us. Rather, He is a loving Father reaching into this world to show us His grace and mercy.

In the Supper, we state that we are God's ambassadors. We signify that God is more than just an idea or set of beliefs. God is at work in the world today. The next time you celebrate Communion, remember that it's not just a cracker and a shot of grape juice. You are joining with God's people and engaging in God's ongoing effort to being salvation to this world.

shine!
Jason

Getting run over

Earlier this week a close friend and co-worker had his MacBook run over by a car. Needless to say, he was a little upset. This computer is like a fourth member of their family. Fortunately, things are going to work out alright and he will be able to get a new one for a lot less than he thought he was going to have to pay.

But as I think about what happened to the MacBook, I wonder how often we run over people emotionally and spiritually with our words and actions.

Because of the sitcom and comedy movie culture, we often make jokes and put-downs a major part of our relationships with others. We watch show after show where family members and friends constantly put each other down while a "live studio audience" and the people at home laugh along.

My concern is, how often do these laughs mask real hurts? Think about this - how many times have you been put down by friends and laughed it off while inside you hurt from what was said?

I know that I have been on both ends of that deal. I have had friends say things about me in a joking manner that really hurt me. And I know that I have said things in the past that likely hurt the other person. Unfortunately, we are often blind to the hurt we cause.

The real struggle is knowing what the boundaries should be. There is certain amount of joking that goes along with friendships, but when is it too far?

Paul wrote: "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:29-32)

This is where it gets challenging. Yes, I think there are times it is probably appropriate to joke around with our friends, but we must exercise caution in our words. Most of us, even when the words hurt, are unwilling to say anything for fear of further verbal assaults. We would rather mask our pain than risk it.

In your relationships, think about the things you say. Think about the impact of what you say and how you say to the other person. Consider the consequences of your words and actions. Make sure you're not running over someone else's feelings and leaving them crushed.

shine!
Jason

I am not I AM

Has God ever "nudged" you? There are often times I am nudged by God. Even at moments when I am not listening very well, God says, "excuse me," as He slightly alters my course.

Well, I am currently reading a book that God is using to do more than nudge. At times it feels more like a straight-arm. I am being challenged to consider my attitude and approach to certain aspects of life. This book, Lord, Teach Us: The Lord's Prayer & the Christian Life, by William Willimon and Stanley Hauerwas, is making me think about how self-centered I can be at times.

I sometimes find myself, as do many ministers, suffering from a "Messiah complex" - this idea that it is my job to save the world. That somehow, my actions will singlehandedly change the course of history. How arrogant is that? But if I am honest, I sometimes find myself buying into that lie.

But don't we all in some way? In our own little corner of the universe, we seek to control the outcome of human history. Consider the words of Willimon and Hauerwas:

We modern American people are so accustomed to thinking of life as choice or chance. Life is what I do and decide or else life is a roulette wheel of sheer luck. Is that often why we feel so helpless and hopeless? If life is all up to us, then we know enough about ourselves and our brothers and sisters to know we are doomed. A terrible paralysis comes from thinking that it's all up to us. If the fate of the world, the outcome of the future is solely my doing, or even yours, then - a good freshman course in the history of Western civilization should convince us that we are without hope. No wonder we feel frail and fearful before the bomb, AIDS, the ecological crisis, thinning ozone, or even the department of motor vehicles - it's all choice or chance.

We're not talking about the silly notion that everything that happens, everything you do, occurs because God planned it that way. We're talking about the amazing resilience of God's purposes. God's intent for the world isn't stumped by our plans. God's will will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

That is one reason why we gather on Sunday and tell stories to one another, stories like the story of Joseph and his brothers. The world is busy telling us stories that say everything is in our hands, all of it left up to us... We are the masters of our fate and the captain of our souls. These false stories blind us to the working of God within the world.

Accordingly, when we pray, "Your will be done," we are not asking that  things come out right as we want things to come out, but rather we are asking that God's will be done. Too often, we are conditioned to think of prayer as asking God for what we want - dear God, give me this, give me that. But now, in praying that God's will be done on earth as it is in heaven, we are attempting to school ourselves to want what God wants. We receive, not what our hearts desire, but rather we become so enthralled with a vision of what God is doing on earth and in heaven, that we forget the story that the world has told us - that we have nothing better to do than to satisfy our desires.

Isn't much of life the struggle between our will and God's? And are there times we try to co-opt God's will to be ours?

Humility is not a natural tendency for me. I am a somewhat prideful person. OK, I am pretty prideful a lot of the time. But God, through nudges and straight-arms is slowly and deliberately redirecting my path. I am not there yet, but I continue on the journey with the words of Paul echoing along the way:

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:12-14)

shine!
Jason

No stones

This fall I am taking this incredible graduate class about ministering to families in the local church. Our professor, Rubel Shelly, has brought in several guest teachers to tackle certain subjects. Last night, we were blessed to sit at the feet of Marnie Ferree. Marnie has an incredible story of being rescued from sexual addiction. Her book, No Stones, is a powerful testimony to the grace and mercy of God and the healing He can provide.

It was amazing to hear God speak through Marnie. She spoke with authority, authenticity, and compassion.

One of the comments she made continues to stick with me. She said, "Sexual addiction in not really about sex; it's an intimacy disorder. All addictions are intimacy disorders."

In essence, all addictions, whether it's sex, alcohol, drugs, eating, shopping, gambling, performance - you name it - result from a deficiency in intimacy. They all stem from a lack of what God intended for us to enjoy - having real, significant relationships with others.

Most - I would argue all - of us suffer, at some level, from a deficiency in intimacy. Not all of us are addicted to something, but all of us are potential addicts. No one is ever completely safe.

I am not trying to be an alarmist, but God warned us about this through the words of the apostle Peter. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8) Destroying intimacy has always been Satan's favorite tool. He used it in the Garden to taint Adam and Eve's relationship with each other and with God. He has been doing it ever since in relationships all over the world.

What is so unfortunate is that often Satan destroys intimacy through the actions of others, injuring us often before we even realized what happened. Whether it is sexual abuse at a young age, verbal or physical abuse from a parent, the loss of a loved one, divorce, abandonment, or a host of other negative situations, many of us have been hurt in ways that significantly reduce our ability to have healthy, intimate relationships. Satan will even use our pain against us in an effort to lead us down the road to addiction.

However, there is hope and healing available. When we are willing to be real with people and let them into our lives we can find relief. Whether it's sharing with others the trauma you never talked about, or seeking help for the addiction you live with every day, becoming vulnerable in community can bring healing. Isn't it ironic that we often react to an intimacy disorder by shutting down and becoming even less intimate? Rather, God would hope for us to find healing for intimacy deficiency by seeking intimacy.

This is often not easy and requires real risk. But it is a risk worth taking. Some people have spent most of their lives in a lonely world, seeking so many other ways to diminish the pain and fill the void that loneliness has created. God offers a simple, but often challenging, way out.

Thank you, Marnie, for being a brave warrior in the battle against Satan and his tools. In my own journey I have experienced my fair share of issues that have affected my ability to have intimate relationships with others. Last night, God brought a word of healing and hope that guided me further along the journey of redemption. Let Him do the same for you. Even if you aren't dealing with sexual addiction in your life or the life of someone close to you, I believe Marnie's book would be a blessing to you. It has been to me.

shine!
Jason

Orphans of God

This weekend I was blessed with a visit by some dear friends from Belpre (the last church I served with). A group of six women were here from Belpre for the Rochester Ladies Day. My family and I spent Friday night taking them to Yates Cider Mill and enjoying dinner at the church building with a group of ladies. Saturday was the Ladies Day (which I was not at, for the record) and then a trip out to the DuBaere's for our Harvest Party.

Probably the biggest blessing of the weekend for me was Sunday morning. Jen Wright, one of the ladies that came down, taught our teen class. Jen is currently serving as a missionary in Santa Ana, a city in Honduras. She and another friend, Karen Vaughan, run a children's home called Casa de Esperanza (House of Hope). They are truly servants of the King!

During the class, Jen shared her life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. She encouraged and challenged our students to do three things.

Find a mentor.

Find a mission.

Move!

The Holy Spirit was obviously moving through Jen as she shared her testimony about how God has worked in her life. She talked about the way she wasted her teenage years. She discussed the ways that God continued to pursue her.

During her presentation, we watched a brief video about Casa and three of the ladies sang a special song, "Orphans of God," for us. Here are the lyrics:

Who here among us has not been broken
Who here among us is without guilt or pain
So oft? abandoned by our transgressions
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

There are no strangers
There are no outcasts
There are no orphans of God
So many fallen, but hallelujah
There are no orphans of God

Come ye unwanted and find affection
Come all ye weary, come and lay down your head
Come ye unworthy, you are my brother
If such a thing as grace exists
Then grace was made for lives like this

O blessed Father, look down upon us
We are Your children, we need Your love
We run before Your throne of mercy
And seek Your face to rise above

It was a powerful morning and God was present in a very tangible and special way. At the end of her talk, Jen prayed over our students. Then we surrounded Jen and the other women and prayed over them. It was one of the most powerful classes I have even been a part of in my many years of ministry.

Thank you to Jen for her dedication and her passion for God. There is a link to her blog on my Blogroll. There is also a link to Karen's blog there. Please pray for my special friends and their ministry. Please visit Casa's website at http://cdehonduras.org/. If you are looking for an overseas mission to support, check them out. What a great opportunity to live out the words of the book of James. Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. (James 1:27)

shine!
Jason

Whose money is it?

Stewardship. The mere mention of the word sends some people running away screaming.

Dictionary.com shows this as the primary definition of stewardship: "a person who manages another's property or financial affairs; one who administers anything as the agent of another or others."

So stewardship is not really about giving. It’s about managing the resources God has blessed us with. If you really think about it that way, it changes your attitude.

It’s not really about deciding how much of MY time, money, or energy I am going to give to God. It’s about how well I am using the time, money, and energy God is allowing me to have.

When we look at our money, our time, our possessions, and our lives as belonging to God, it changes the way we use them. No longer are we trying to decide how much of "our stuff" will we give to God. We are deciding how much of our gifts from God are we going to give to ourselves.

As you think about what you have, remember that God created it all for us to enjoy and use. But I don’t think He ever intended for us to only serve ourselves.

When we are stewards of what God has blessed us with we should be seeking ways to use our time, possessions, and energy to improve the lives of others and bring the Kingdom of God to life in our world.

 

shine!
Jason

God is not great?

Recently I was at the library and saw a book sitting on the display rack that caught my attention. The title of the book was "God is Not Great: How religion poisons everything." I was drawn to this book and wanted to get to know the man who would write such a book.

At this point I am about 20% through the book. One of the things I want to thank the author for is starting the book by sharing some of the issues that shaped him and made him bitter towards God. I am not sure if that is exactly how he intended for that part of the book to be interpreted.

While I do not remotely agree with his title (although the subtitle does have some truth), the author makes some valid points. Organized religion has been the source of some pain and mistreatment of human beings throughout history. For some reason, as he spends page after page condemning Christians, Muslims, Jews, and more for "sins" (although he and I would differ on the meaning of the word) such as the Crusades and the current clergy scandals, he fails to mention the many acts of charity including hospitals and relief efforts.

To be fair, he may get to this later, but I doubt it. This seems to be a man who is bitter about certain aspects of his life and wants to take it out on God, those who chose to follow Him, and anyone else who claims some religion.

I will concede to him on one point. Religion can poison things. As a matter of fact, religion can poison our relationship with God. We must be careful not to get to so wrapped up in how we worship and approach God that we miss the God we are seeking in the first place.

shine!
Jason

What's up with my family?

This is my first attempt at this, so I am not sure how it will work. Last night was the first week of a six-part teaching series called "God, Are You There?" This week, we are considering how teenagers can better deal with their siblings and parents and what advice God has for conflict at home.

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Seasons

Fall has arrived in Michigan. After dealing with shorts in late October, I awoke this morning to the reality that fall does exist and it has come to my town. It is currently 48 degrees outside with cold rain falling from the sky.

I have no control over the weather. I couldn't push a button and change the temperature. I wasn't able to turn off the valve that releases rain. I simply had to dress warmer and move quickly from my car to the church building. I would imagine most of us would think it was silly if someone said they were going to control the weather.

But why is it so many of us want to control the seasons in our lives? When things happen to us we tend to try to change our environment. Have you ever said any of the following?

"If only my parents would change."

"If only my children would change."

"If only my spouse would change."

"If only I could change schools."

"If only I could change jobs."

"If only I were younger."

"If only I were older."

"If only I had more money."

"If only...."

The problem with these "if only" statements is that we are seeking to change people or situations that we often fail to have control over. Like the weather, there are many times we have little or no ability to change the season we find ourselves in the midst of.

Imagine if we changed the above statements to sound like this...

"I will be a better son/daughter."

"I will be a better parent."

"I will be a better spouse."

"I will be a better student."

"I will be a better employee."

"My years of experience have worth."

"My youth gives me the energy to make a difference."

"I may not have much money, but I will use what I have wisely."

God will not always rescue us from difficult seasons of life. But He does call us to use these times to make a difference. Instead of trying to change everything around us, imagine the impact we can have if we change to meet the challenges we face.

This morning I looked out the window and saw that it was wet and cold. So I dressed accordingly and headed out to face the day. Every day we awaken to a new challenge, a new opportunity. Depending on the forecast for the day you are about to embark on, plan for the day, expect unexpected changes, and let God use you to bring some warmth and sunshine to every day, regardless of how dark it may seem around you.

shine!
Jason

Living faith

Some people wonder why serving others is so important. Most of us would agree that it's good to serve other people, but is there more to it than just doing a good deed?

Something happens when we serve. We join God in His mission of restoring Creation. We were designed by God to serve. It is part of who we are.

The ways we serve will look different. Some people love to work with wood and build things. Others enjoying singing. Some find fulfillment in showing hospitality.

God’s call to you is two fold. First, find your passions and use them in service to others. Whatever it is you enjoy doing, seek out ways to use it for the benefit of God and others.

Second, God asks us to be willing to stretch beyond our comfort zone and serve in ways that may not be comfortable for us. We may discover a new way to serve that we really like. And even if we don’t, we learn that life is not always about what we want.

If you are not currently involved in serving others on an ongoing basis, make a commitment today to find a way to serve.

God created you to serve. Through serving we find purpose and fulfillment. We discover the joy that only comes when we put others first and lay down our lives for our friends. Jesus said, "For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Matthew 20:28) If we are followers of Jesus, shouldn’t we be willing to do the same?

shine!
Jason

Be the change

Today I had the opportunity to take part in my second Challenge Day. If you are not familiar with this organization, check them out at www.challengeday.org.

I arrived at Rochester High School around 7:30am today and left shortly after 3:00pm. I spent most of that time in a gym with two leaders, a few dozen adults, and over one hundred high school students. It was a day of encouragement, sharing, and healing.

One of the mottoes of Challenge Day is "Be the change you want to see." This quote from Gandhi is used to encourage students to consider the environment in their school and step up to make a change.

Today I witnessed students begin to answer that challenge. Lives were changed before my eyes.

For those who feel hopeless for the future, you need to witness a Challenge Day. I was reminded that there is hope, but it must be accompanied by healing. Today's students face more expectations, threats, and stress than any previous generation. For many students, survival is a way of life. With high divorce rates, alcohol and drug use by many parents, disconnected families where each family member retreats to their own room, and drive-by parenting, it is no wonder that students are crying out for help through sexual promiscuity, their own drug and alcohol use, violence, cutting, and a variety of other means.

The challenge isn't just for students. Adults need to be the change they want to see as well. If adults are willing to be transparent and provide a safe place where teens can do the same, we can create an environment where our young people can find healing. It will require sacrifice. We will need to sacrifice some of our time. We will need to reorganize our priorities. It calls us to think about what really matters.

We can't sit on the sidelines and hope for things to change. We need to get in the trenches and be willing to get dirty. Then we can be the change we want to see.

shine!
Jason

The prodigal son

I just finished reading The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen. After reflecting on what Nouwen wrote, I am forced to look in the mirror and evaluate my life.

I am self-righteous and self-deprecating.

I often live more for recognition than righteousness.

The praise of men is often more important to me than the praise of God.

I can be more judgmental than compassionate.

How often do we consider what others see and think before thinking about God's take? I know I do at times. I struggle with being true to myself and true to God. I look back on decisions and discussions and wonder who it was really for.

If I am honest, there are many times I want to be right more than I want to be pure or holy. I can worry more about winning an argument than changing a heart. Too often, I focus on proving my point, not providing care.

I am not saying this to beat myself up or put myself down. Rather, it is an honest assessment of who I am on the inside. It is the me that people don't see.

I can be the prodigal son who wanders away from God to please myself, seek my own interests, and do my own thing. But I am also the elder brother at times - proud about my faith and position. I find myself living at the two extremes, missing the center of the mark where the Father dwells.

But that is what is so amazing about grace. It is God, waiting like a patient dad. Waiting and watching. Looking for a glimpse of his son returning home. God never leaves us. He never forsakes us. Even when we run away from home, He watches the horizon for the appearance of a returning child.

I am sinner, but I am forgiven.

These are the words that keep me going. This short phrase enables me get out of the pig slop and head back to the palace. It is the never-ending love of a Father who wants nothing more than to welcome me home, dress me in the finest clothes, and throw a party. It is the ceaseless wonder of a Creator whose only desire is to have an intimate relationship with His creation.

It is in the eyes of this Creator that I find my real calling. Created in the image of God, I am made to be like the Father. I am designed to show His love, His compassion. When I realize my goal is to become like my heavenly Dad, it changes things. No longer do I strive to please an angry, judgmental God who wants to punish every little sin. Rather, I strive to become like the Father who wants nothing more than to embrace me and watch me grow up to be like Him.

This is the man I want to be.

shine!
Jason