Getting run over

Earlier this week a close friend and co-worker had his MacBook run over by a car. Needless to say, he was a little upset. This computer is like a fourth member of their family. Fortunately, things are going to work out alright and he will be able to get a new one for a lot less than he thought he was going to have to pay.

But as I think about what happened to the MacBook, I wonder how often we run over people emotionally and spiritually with our words and actions.

Because of the sitcom and comedy movie culture, we often make jokes and put-downs a major part of our relationships with others. We watch show after show where family members and friends constantly put each other down while a "live studio audience" and the people at home laugh along.

My concern is, how often do these laughs mask real hurts? Think about this - how many times have you been put down by friends and laughed it off while inside you hurt from what was said?

I know that I have been on both ends of that deal. I have had friends say things about me in a joking manner that really hurt me. And I know that I have said things in the past that likely hurt the other person. Unfortunately, we are often blind to the hurt we cause.

The real struggle is knowing what the boundaries should be. There is certain amount of joking that goes along with friendships, but when is it too far?

Paul wrote: "Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:29-32)

This is where it gets challenging. Yes, I think there are times it is probably appropriate to joke around with our friends, but we must exercise caution in our words. Most of us, even when the words hurt, are unwilling to say anything for fear of further verbal assaults. We would rather mask our pain than risk it.

In your relationships, think about the things you say. Think about the impact of what you say and how you say to the other person. Consider the consequences of your words and actions. Make sure you're not running over someone else's feelings and leaving them crushed.

shine!
Jason