Sex...come out of the closet

Sex. It sells. It is everywhere. It is woven into the fabric of our society.

Unfortunately, most of what we see, hear, and read about sex is unholy. So in the church, sex has become a bad word. We don't really talk about it. If you talk about sex from the pulpit, people will stare in shock.

Satan is loving this. While the world parades around promoting every kind of unholy sexual experience and advice, the church remains silent. Well, mostly silent. We protest homosexuality, bisexuality, prostitution, pornography, and more.

I am not arguing that we should not be against these things, but are we offering an answer? And when I say answer, I don't mean that we say, "Stop doing it."

There is no where this is more true than dealing with teenagers. Why are things like sexually transmitted diseases, teenage pregnancy, and multiple sexual partners as frequent in youth groups as the rest of teen culture? I would argue part of the reason is that we are approaching it all wrong.

People are created to be sexual beings. This includes teenagers who have reached puberty, along with the rest of us who have already passed that milestone.  Simply saying "don't do that" isn't the answer.

God Himself provides an answer through the apostle Paul. Paul wrote the following in his letter to church at Corinth:

Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, "The two are united into one." But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:15-20)

For years in youth ministry I have used this passage to argue for sexual purity. But I have recently learned some things that take the meaning of this passage to whole new level.

Why would Paul say that, "No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does?" Aren't there plenty of other sins that affect the body? Drug abuse. Alcoholism. Gluttony. There are a number of other sins that would appear to affect the body too. So what is Paul's point?

I believe that Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, reveals something that likely wasn't scientifically known 2,000 years ago. When we are involved sexually with someone, whether it is through direct physical contact or indirectly (as in pornography), there is a chemical release in our body that emotionally attaches us to that person.

So sexual sin, unlike any other sin we commit, creates a chemical bond in our mind that cannot ever be erased completely. When we "become one" with someone sexually, it is more than a physical act of two bodies coming together. It is actually a physical act that also brings two people together emotionally.

There is no such thing as recreational sex without consequences. Sure, you may not catch a disease or get pregnant, but you are creating an emotional bond that will always exist.

I realize that this won't stop every premarital sexual encounter. But it is a healthy approach to dealing with sexual sin. I have heard teenagers tell me they just like having sex and it's all in good fun. Little do they realize they are planting seeds that will sprout down the road. They will always compare their future spouse to every other lover. They will never be able to erase the memories of past sexual experiences.

The church, and especially parents, must be open about sex with their children. Start early and discuss it often. Of course it must be age appropriate, but it must be talked about. The world is teaching our children about sex every day. They hear about it in school, on television, in their music, and even from other kids in the youth group. If we are going to provide a healthy foundation for our children's future, we have to get in the game.

It's time for sex to come out of the closet in the church. If we are willing to become less reactionary and more proactive we can make a difference. Sex is not something dirty to be hidden away, it is something beautiful, created by God, to bond two people together. The more I learn about sex, the more I realize how wonderful our God is and how we often miss the mark.

If you doubt that God is serious about openly discussing sex, visit Song of Solomon. God wants nothing more than for you to have a vibrant, exciting sexual relationship with the person you will be attached to for life. Save it for then and serve it up in mighty portions when the time is right.

shine!
Jason