All in the family

Why do we sometimes forget that church is a family? Or at least why do we fail to act like church is a family?

Maybe it's the big buildings.

Maybe it's the limited amount of time we spend together.

Whatever "it" is, our behavior often seems to disregard that the Creator calls us the family of God.

I was having lunch today with a father and son and we were engaged in a conversation about some of the struggles that churches face. Interesting enough, the more we talked about it, the more I realized that some of the problems churches face are a result of the impact of the surrounding culture on the church.

Time out for a minute to look at a snapshot of culture. Let's consider television. Almost every television show is created and written to appeal to a certain audience. One show might target 45-65 year olds. Another show is designed to appeal to teenagers and college students. Yet another show focuses on attracting females between 25 and 45. If you don't believe me, consider the television viewing habits of some families. They have a TV in every bedroom and the family scatters to their individual rooms to watch "their" show.

So is it any surprise that churches struggle with unity? Should we really be shocked that various age groups and segments of the church with different opinions on a subject, often want it "their way?"

You don't sing MY kind of songs.

Worship wasn't like this when I was growing up here.

Why can't we have more contemporary worship services?

Is church really supposed to be about that?

I have heard the arguments from every side and angle. No one group has the market on complaining and clamoring for what they want. I will admit that I sometimes find myself jumping into the game.

I wonder if our Father shakes His head in disbelief. Does Jesus ask Himself if this is what He died for? Is the Holy Spirit crying out from inside of us. The Trinity, the ultimate example of relationship, must be pained when the family of God draws lines and takes up positions.

This is not an argument to say that one side is right or has the moral high ground. I know very traditional Christians, moderate Christians, very  progressive Christians, and people all along the spectrum who struggle with this. It is part of our human nature.

But God is calling out to us to live in community as a family. This doesn't mean we always agree. (Do husband and wife always agree? Not in my house - or any other house if we are honest.) God doesn't want clones, He wants disciples.

There will always be disagreements about how to approach various issues and practices. That is the blessing and curse of the human experience. Nothing in this world ever really stands still. Isn't that why God tells us He is our rock and foundation?

We need to remember that God's family was here long before we were born and will be around long after we die. Church is not about us. It's not about our preferences or opinions. It's not about traditional or contemporary worship. It's not about any of the myriad of issues we fight and argue about. It's about living out the reign of God in our lives.

That means sometimes we get what we want and sometimes we don't. It means sometimes we defer to a brother or sister in Christ and other times we do what we believe to be right while continuing to love those who disagree. It means that we may have to be patient and wait for others to come along in the journey. It also means we may have to struggle with something we are not comfortable with while our family moves in a certain direction.

Being family means we stick together with Jesus at the center. It means we don't always get our way, but it also means we don't have to give in all the time. It is an ebb and flow where we have family discussions and make decisions based on what is in the best interest of the whole family. Often, not everyone is happy, but when we live like family as God intended, we can work through things.

The church must never forget that first and foremost, it is a family. God created us in His image to be relational beings. And we should never forsake our relationships in order to win an argument, or get our way. The family, the people, must always come first. And this requires everyone involved to be more humble, more open, and more willing to trust that God is in our midst.

shine!
Jason