I want to be rich

Several years ago, a book came out that caused quite a stir in the Christian community. The Prayer of Jabez, based on one verse of Scripture pulled out of it’s context, basically teaches people to pray for God to give them more and He will. Obviously the book goes into more detail, but that is the basic idea. Here is the verse:

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, " Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request. (1 Chronicles 4:10)

The author of this book leads us to believe that God wants us to be rich and happy and is simply waiting for us to ask. But is that really what the Gospel is about?

If this is the ultimate plan God has for us, why did Jesus own almost nothing? Why did Jesus suffer pain?

The reality is that I don’t believe it’s all that important to God if we are rich or not. Our happiness is not God’s greatest concern. God wants faithful followers who understand and are willing to experience the reality of struggle. Whether rich or poor, God wants us to use what we have to spread the Kingdom of God.

When we listen to teachings like The Prayer of Jabez, we can start thinking that this life is really all about us. But it’s not.

Riches and happiness do not always go together. Some of the happiest people I know own very little. On the other hand, I know some very wealthy Christians who are miserable.

Nowhere in God’s word do I read where God tells us His desire is for us to be rich and happy, at least from the world’s perspective. God’s riches have little to do with dollars, possessions, and status, and have everything to do with sacrifice, serving, and humility. Those are the kind of riches that will fill us with the joy that can only come from the heart of God.

 

shine!
Jason

All in the family

Why do we sometimes forget that church is a family? Or at least why do we fail to act like church is a family?

Maybe it's the big buildings.

Maybe it's the limited amount of time we spend together.

Whatever "it" is, our behavior often seems to disregard that the Creator calls us the family of God.

I was having lunch today with a father and son and we were engaged in a conversation about some of the struggles that churches face. Interesting enough, the more we talked about it, the more I realized that some of the problems churches face are a result of the impact of the surrounding culture on the church.

Time out for a minute to look at a snapshot of culture. Let's consider television. Almost every television show is created and written to appeal to a certain audience. One show might target 45-65 year olds. Another show is designed to appeal to teenagers and college students. Yet another show focuses on attracting females between 25 and 45. If you don't believe me, consider the television viewing habits of some families. They have a TV in every bedroom and the family scatters to their individual rooms to watch "their" show.

So is it any surprise that churches struggle with unity? Should we really be shocked that various age groups and segments of the church with different opinions on a subject, often want it "their way?"

You don't sing MY kind of songs.

Worship wasn't like this when I was growing up here.

Why can't we have more contemporary worship services?

Is church really supposed to be about that?

I have heard the arguments from every side and angle. No one group has the market on complaining and clamoring for what they want. I will admit that I sometimes find myself jumping into the game.

I wonder if our Father shakes His head in disbelief. Does Jesus ask Himself if this is what He died for? Is the Holy Spirit crying out from inside of us. The Trinity, the ultimate example of relationship, must be pained when the family of God draws lines and takes up positions.

This is not an argument to say that one side is right or has the moral high ground. I know very traditional Christians, moderate Christians, very  progressive Christians, and people all along the spectrum who struggle with this. It is part of our human nature.

But God is calling out to us to live in community as a family. This doesn't mean we always agree. (Do husband and wife always agree? Not in my house - or any other house if we are honest.) God doesn't want clones, He wants disciples.

There will always be disagreements about how to approach various issues and practices. That is the blessing and curse of the human experience. Nothing in this world ever really stands still. Isn't that why God tells us He is our rock and foundation?

We need to remember that God's family was here long before we were born and will be around long after we die. Church is not about us. It's not about our preferences or opinions. It's not about traditional or contemporary worship. It's not about any of the myriad of issues we fight and argue about. It's about living out the reign of God in our lives.

That means sometimes we get what we want and sometimes we don't. It means sometimes we defer to a brother or sister in Christ and other times we do what we believe to be right while continuing to love those who disagree. It means that we may have to be patient and wait for others to come along in the journey. It also means we may have to struggle with something we are not comfortable with while our family moves in a certain direction.

Being family means we stick together with Jesus at the center. It means we don't always get our way, but it also means we don't have to give in all the time. It is an ebb and flow where we have family discussions and make decisions based on what is in the best interest of the whole family. Often, not everyone is happy, but when we live like family as God intended, we can work through things.

The church must never forget that first and foremost, it is a family. God created us in His image to be relational beings. And we should never forsake our relationships in order to win an argument, or get our way. The family, the people, must always come first. And this requires everyone involved to be more humble, more open, and more willing to trust that God is in our midst.

shine!
Jason

Is the right answer right?

Have you ever asked yourself why God seems so confusing at times? There are times I wrestle with God. Actually, I wrestle with God a lot. I get comfortable with what I think or believe about something and then God goes and changes on me.

OK, I know that God is not the one that changed, but that's not the point. Why does God so often seem to avoid giving us the straight-forward answer? This is so frustrating for a borderline OCD who is also ADD. (Neither of those are diagnosed, but I feel like I act like both at times.) I want to know all the answers now!

If you have been reading this blog with any regularity, you have probably noticed I am fairly opinionated. But if you have known me for any length of time, you also know what I believe can change. I am sure this frustrates people. (To be honest, it frustrates me sometimes, because I have to go back and eat the words I said earlier.) I don't think I am wishy-washy, but I try to be open-minded.

Do I seem a little confused today? ;-)

So, why is God so confusing at times? It's not because God is confusing, it's because we are still learning. Why are there so many churches with so many different "doctrines?" Because we are still learning. Why do I think I have the right answers only to learn I am wrong? Because I am still learning.

I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things, but I have also decided that my opinions are not that important in the grand scheme of things. That doesn't mean I don't take a stand for what I believe. It doesn't mean that what I believe is not important to me. It means that what I believe at the moment is a milestone on the journey of faith, but I am not willing to stop there.

As long as we honestly seek God, we will never have all the answers. We will never "arrive" during our faith journey in this life.

Maybe part of the reason is that it's not really about arriving. Maybe God never really called us to find all the answers. Maybe, just maybe, God created us to help complete His mission of restoring Creation to what He intended. What if our goal as followers of Jesus isn't to get it right, but to make things right?

If we focused on making things right instead of getting things right... 

How many churches would do things differently?

How many Christians would be be more loving and less judgmental?

And...how many more people would truly experience God?

shine!
Jason

Looking for beauty in the ugliness

Why is it that we always look at suffering as a bad thing?

Why do we seem to look down on things that are called “ugly?”

People spend thousands of dollars to fix their teeth or for plastic surgery. Women will spend a long time in front of the mirror putting on make-up. We will go to great lengths to remove all of the ugliness from our life.

However, it’s not just physical ugliness we try to hide. In the weeks leading up to Super Bowl XL in Detroit, the local authorities went to great lengths to remove the homeless from the streets.

This is a mystery to me. Why do we spend so much on superficial changes? Why wouldn't we allow God to use the “ugliness” of suffering to redeem people’s situations and lives? Rather, we will avoid the opportunities suffering provides.

Suffering can be a beautiful thing. Sure, it may not be pretty or sharp-looking, but it can bring about a beautiful outcome.

Suffering is often what reveals the nature and character of God. Some of the most beautiful faith I have seen emerges from the lives of those whose lives look ugly to the world.

Jesus never looked for the people with pretty lives. He would seek those whose lives were immersed in suffering. The woman at the well who was married numerous times. The woman caught in adultery. The short tax collector that most people probably despised. The zealot who was always looking for a religious war.

Jesus never seemed to see suffering as ugly. He looked at it as an opportunity for the dream of God to emerge onto the scene.

How would the world be different if we could stop looking at suffering as a bad thing, and instead, look for the ways God can use us in the midst of that suffering to bring about good?

shine!
Jason

Taking a risk

Last night I witnessed one of the most exciting endings to a high school football game I have ever seen. It was Rochester versus Farmington. Rochester had a 14 - 6 lead with less than two minutes left when Farmington got the ball. It was a back and forth battle. On one play, Rochester would tackle the Farmington player for a loss. The next play would be a good gain.

The anxiety in the crowd rose to another level when a pass interference penalty was called against Rochester, and Farmington found themselves inside the 10-yard line. With less than a minute to play, the Farmington quarterback lofted a pass to the right side of the endzone, the receiver stretched out his arms, caught the ball, and kept his feet inbounds. Touchdown!

You could sense the disappointment in the stands, but there was still hope. But on the extra-point conversion, Farmington scored to tie it up at 14 - 14, with 33 seconds left to play.

On the ensuing kick-off, the excitement returned to the crowd as Rochester ran it back to the Farmington 30-yard line. Rochester took one shot at the endzone, but the pass was incomplete. With only eleven seconds left in the game, the coach sent the field goal unit onto the field to attempt a 46-yard field goal. The crowd was tense as they remembered the much shorter field goal the kicker had missed only moments earlier.

The ball was snapped. The holder placed the football on the kicking tee. The kicker's foot made contact with the ball and it cleared the outstretched hands of the defenders. It was one of those "slow motion" moments where it felt like everything was going at half speed. You could sense the collective holding of breath throughout the stands. The ball was getting closer and closer. It didn't look like it would make it. But, looking like it was willed there by the crowd, the ball hit the upright and bounced through for a field goal.

The score was 17 - 14 with less than ten seconds left. The crowd was both shocked and elated. People were cheering in disbelief. There are a lot of NFL kickers that might have missed this 46-yard field goal. But this high school player gave it just enough leg to get through the uprights and bring his team the victory.

Why don't followers of Jesus take risks like this more often? It was a risk. The kick could have been blocked and returned for a touchdown. A lot of "bad" things could have happened. But he elected to go for it. There would be no "take a knee and try in overtime." The coach didn't want to throw one more pass down the field hoping for something to happen. Instead he put the fate of the team in the kick of a 46-yard field goal.

We will often choose to walk the other way than help the homeless person or someone we see crying.

We think it's more important to get to church on time than to stop to help someone stranded on the side of the road.

We find ourselves laughing at gossip or tasteless jokes instead of taking the risk of standing up for the other person.

We might choose to spend evenings in the comfort of our homes instead of reaching out to help the untouchable of society.

We can buy into the lie that a nicer car or home is more valuable than giving our time and money to the people Jesus would have served.

Many of us like "play it safe" Christianity. You know, the Christianity where our giving is only in a plate and our sacrifice is really not much sacrifice at all. In our culture of Social Security, nest eggs, and safety nets, we have lost something. Social Security in Jesus' economy means that the young take care of the elderly. It doesn't mean we let the government take over the roll God intended for the church. In Jesus' world, a nest egg is what a family builds together and passes down from one generation to the next. Safety nets in the Kingdom of God is the trust in a family of believers that is present in times of need.

Trusting God is risky business. But with pensions, 401(k)s, and IRAs, we have been trained to take care of ourselves. We have been taught that we are responsible for our own future. But is that really what God calls us to do?

I am not against being responsible, hard-working, and wise, but I fear that our economic system has, in some ways, robbed us of the importance of community. We have lost sight of the trust and faith that comes out of placing our security in a group of people, not a bank account.

Would people look at Christians like we were weird if we all stopped putting money into retirement accounts and gave it to our elderly members instead? Probably.

Would the world think we were insane if we all canceled our health insurance policies and helped pay each other's medical bills?

Would our neighbors make fun of us if we moved to a neighborhood with smaller, less expensive housing so we could cut back our hours at work and spend more time with our friends and family?

Would friends at school think a teenager was crazy if he tutored the student struggling in school instead of making fun of him?

God has called us to be risk takers. He has created us to do things the world thinks is foolish. The apostle Paul wrote, "The message of the cross is foolish to those who are headed for
destruction! But we who are being saved know it is the very power of
God." (1 Corinthians 1:18)

Why does Christianity seem to be a dying religion in our country? Many would say it is irrelevant, outdated, and unnecessary. I would argue that Christianity is losing it's power because we have stopped taking risks for the Kingdom of God. Maybe it's time we stopped making the cross a piece of jewelry and a topic of discussion, and instead, live out the risky sacrifice it represents.

shine!
Jason

The chase

Last night I had this really cool dream. Well, cool is a relative term. My dream basically consisted of me running from a tornado and hiding as it went by. The cool thing was that I got to see a tornado.

You have to understand. I am a weather nerd. I love the Weather Channel. I especially enjoy studying tornadoes and hurricanes. If it is a cyclone, sign me up.

I wonder if you can guess what I was doing last night right before I went to bed...

If you guessed that I was watching Storm Stories on the Weather Channel, you would be right. I watched two episodes, both of which had to do with tornadoes.

What I watched on TV impacted my dreams in a very direct way. I have heard for years that younger children shouldn't watch anything scary, especially right before bed, because they would have nightmares. Even some adults avoid certain movies before bed.

If what we watch on TV affects our dreams when we sleep, don't you think it might affect our dreams in life? I am not talking about the dreams we have at night anymore. I am talking about our dreams and aspirations in life. The goals we have. The things we strive for.

I know many Christians who watch hours of television shows that promote immoral behavior, feature wealthy, young, and attractive people, glorify violence and dishonesty. We then wonder why many, if not all, of these struggles become issues for us. Why do we think that movies and TV shows will affect children, but not us?

Two arguments I often hear are: children's minds are much more moldable; and adults are better equipped to process what they see. While there is some merit to both points, are we suddenly unable to be influenced because we are adults? It doesn't matter how old you are. What you see, hear, and experience will shape who you are.

Followers of Jesus must be careful about what shapes them. What is impacting your dreams? Are your entertainment choices affecting what is important to you?

I always find it interesting that teenagers will tell me they can watch all of these movies and TV shows and listen to whatever music they want, and it doesn't really affect them. Then I notice they are wearing the styles and clothing labels promoted by their culture. They often use the same vocabulary as the stars on their favorite shows. And in a variety of other ways, they display attributes that reflect the messages of their favorite songs and shows.

You might think it's just about the way they dress or talk. If that were all, I guess my concern would be a bit overblown. But it often goes much deeper.

I have seen a lot of people who claim to be Christians focus more on lifestyles of the rich and famous than picking up their cross. Many Christians will work overtime to have a Jet Ski or a bigger house, but it is unlikely they would work overtime to help a family in the church who is in need. Other Christians might spend $75 on a shirt or pair of pants with a designer label, and treat the church member wearing $15 pants from WalMart differently.

Isn't funny how culture has trained us to shape our dreams, goals, and desires about what they think is important? It is so frustrating sometimes that so many of us determine what is important by listening to the people whose job it is to sell the products.

Why is someone who wears Hollister better than someone who wears clothes from WalMart? The honest answer? Because if you can afford the nicer clothes, you are more important. If you have the money to spend, you are more fashionable, more wealthy, and a more significant person.

Many of us might argue with this, but isn't that the reality?

The world is training us to value things that aren't really that important. It is teaching us to chase dreams, goals, and desires that God must shake His head at.

I recently heard a story that illustrates this well. Renowned preacher, theology professor and storyteller Fred Craddock
swears this happened to him: He was visiting in a home of one of his
former students after graduation, and after a great dinner, the young
parents excused themselves and hustled the kids off to bed, leaving
Fred in the living room with the family pet-a large, sleek greyhound.
Earlier in the evening Fred had watched the kids roll on the floor
playing with the family dog.

"That's a full-blooded greyhound there," the father of the kids had
told Fred. "He once raced professionally down in Florida. Then we got
him. Great dog with the kids, that greyhound."


Well, sitting there with the dog, the dog turned to Fred and asked, "This your first visit to Connecticut?"


"No," Fred answered. "I went to school up here a long time ago."


"Well, I guess you heard. I came up here from Miami," said the greyhound.


"Oh, yeah, you retired?" Fred said.


"No, is that what they told you? No, no, I didn't retire. I tell
you, I spent 10 years as a professional, racing greyhound. That means
10 years of running around that track day after day, seven days a week
with others chasing that rabbit. Well, one day, I got up close; I got a
good look at that rabbit. It was a fake! I had spent my whole life
chasing a fake rabbit! Hey, I didn't retire; I quit!

----------------- 

It's time for the people of God to stop chasing the fake rabbits that culture is placing before us and dream the dreams that God has for us. Dreams where humility is celebrating. Dreams where selflessness is honored. Dreams where laying down our life is the focus.

shine!
Jason

Sex...come out of the closet

Sex. It sells. It is everywhere. It is woven into the fabric of our society.

Unfortunately, most of what we see, hear, and read about sex is unholy. So in the church, sex has become a bad word. We don't really talk about it. If you talk about sex from the pulpit, people will stare in shock.

Satan is loving this. While the world parades around promoting every kind of unholy sexual experience and advice, the church remains silent. Well, mostly silent. We protest homosexuality, bisexuality, prostitution, pornography, and more.

I am not arguing that we should not be against these things, but are we offering an answer? And when I say answer, I don't mean that we say, "Stop doing it."

There is no where this is more true than dealing with teenagers. Why are things like sexually transmitted diseases, teenage pregnancy, and multiple sexual partners as frequent in youth groups as the rest of teen culture? I would argue part of the reason is that we are approaching it all wrong.

People are created to be sexual beings. This includes teenagers who have reached puberty, along with the rest of us who have already passed that milestone.  Simply saying "don't do that" isn't the answer.

God Himself provides an answer through the apostle Paul. Paul wrote the following in his letter to church at Corinth:

Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, "The two are united into one." But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:15-20)

For years in youth ministry I have used this passage to argue for sexual purity. But I have recently learned some things that take the meaning of this passage to whole new level.

Why would Paul say that, "No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does?" Aren't there plenty of other sins that affect the body? Drug abuse. Alcoholism. Gluttony. There are a number of other sins that would appear to affect the body too. So what is Paul's point?

I believe that Paul, inspired by the Holy Spirit, reveals something that likely wasn't scientifically known 2,000 years ago. When we are involved sexually with someone, whether it is through direct physical contact or indirectly (as in pornography), there is a chemical release in our body that emotionally attaches us to that person.

So sexual sin, unlike any other sin we commit, creates a chemical bond in our mind that cannot ever be erased completely. When we "become one" with someone sexually, it is more than a physical act of two bodies coming together. It is actually a physical act that also brings two people together emotionally.

There is no such thing as recreational sex without consequences. Sure, you may not catch a disease or get pregnant, but you are creating an emotional bond that will always exist.

I realize that this won't stop every premarital sexual encounter. But it is a healthy approach to dealing with sexual sin. I have heard teenagers tell me they just like having sex and it's all in good fun. Little do they realize they are planting seeds that will sprout down the road. They will always compare their future spouse to every other lover. They will never be able to erase the memories of past sexual experiences.

The church, and especially parents, must be open about sex with their children. Start early and discuss it often. Of course it must be age appropriate, but it must be talked about. The world is teaching our children about sex every day. They hear about it in school, on television, in their music, and even from other kids in the youth group. If we are going to provide a healthy foundation for our children's future, we have to get in the game.

It's time for sex to come out of the closet in the church. If we are willing to become less reactionary and more proactive we can make a difference. Sex is not something dirty to be hidden away, it is something beautiful, created by God, to bond two people together. The more I learn about sex, the more I realize how wonderful our God is and how we often miss the mark.

If you doubt that God is serious about openly discussing sex, visit Song of Solomon. God wants nothing more than for you to have a vibrant, exciting sexual relationship with the person you will be attached to for life. Save it for then and serve it up in mighty portions when the time is right.

shine!
Jason

 

Why I oppose dating in high school

To some of my students, this is now known as the "Cincinnati Talk."

The last two years on our mission trip to Cincinnati, I have had a conversation with two different couples in our youth group who are fairly serious. While this is not all I talked about with them, it was a part of our discussion.

I shared with both couples that I feel dating in high school (or younger) is not a good idea. I don't think it's a sin. I don't look down on students who date in high school. I just feel it is not the best thing physically, socially, emotionally, or spiritually.

Disclaimer here...I know I am not the parent of a teenager yet. I know that "when my son becomes a teenager I will change my opinion." I have heard the numerous arguments and the like. I write this as a parent of a six-year-old. But I also write this as someone who has spent the last eleven years of my life (8 of them in full-time ministry) working with teenagers. 

While I do not necessarily have "book, chapter, and verse" against dating, I do believe that dating as it exists today in American culture can be destructive. That is why I oppose it. Let me explain.

When I ask students why they date, I get a variety of answers. If I were to group them into categories, they might include things like the following:

"It's just what teenagers do."

"I like him/her. So we decided to date."

"I want to develop my dating skills."

And my personal favorite..."Why shouldn't I?"

If we were to peel back the layers and get to the heart of it, I think a lot of the real reasons would sound like this:

"I can't control my hormones, so I need to be with one person."

"I am not secure about who I am, so I need this person to validate me."

"My parents don't show me affection or attention, so I need to find it somewhere."

I willingly acknowledge these are generalizations. But at the same time, I believe these are the real reasons a lot of teenagers date. And this is one of the reasons I oppose dating in high school.

Students are still trying to find themselves and figure out who they are. Attaching so much of their identity to another person often sets them up for failure. This can arise in a number of ways:

They might have sex with their boyfriend/girlfriend to keep the relationship when the other person threatens to leave unless they "move to the next level."

They might have sex with their girlfriend/boyfriend in exchange for the affection and attention they crave.

They will often invest so much of their emotions in that other person (to gain emotional acceptance), that when the relationship dissolves, they are in worse emotional condition than they were when they first started in the relationship.

The unfortunate thing about these and other consequences of seeking acceptance in a relationship at a young age, is that they usually delay the developmental process even longer.

In addition to the immediate impact of these relationships, I believe there are other, longer lasting consequences.

I have heard so many causes for the increased divorce rate. I would argue that the dating culture that exploded in the second half of the 20th century has contributed significantly to the increase in divorces in our country. I don't have statistics or studies to prove this, but think about it.

When students date, they often jump from relationship to relationship. I don't know the figures, but I know many of the students in my youth groups have had more middle school and high school relationships than I can count on both hands. I realize others have had none or few.

The more relationships students have, the easier it gets to break up. Like any other habit, the more often you do something, the more likely you are to continue that habit. I have heard students argue that they can date as much as they want in high school, but when they get older and "settle down" they will stick with one person.

That is great in theory, but how have they trained themselves emotionally? "When I am unhappy and finally fed up with this person, I will dump them." You can't ignore your past.

While this is a short version of what I think, it is a synopsis of why I oppose dating in high school.

I acknowledge there are exceptions. There are two teenagers at our church who just graduated from high school this past spring. They have been dating for over a year and now and I fully expect they will be married some day. But they were mature for their age and waited until their senior year to start dating. They are both staying in the area and appear to have been very cautious in the physical aspect of their relationship. They both also seem to have had very limited dating experiences prior to this relationship. (I just moved here two years ago, so I could be wrong.)

If you are a teenager, please don't send hate mail. ;-)

Parents and other adults, we need to be proactive. I am not talking about being proactive by sheltering teenagers. This is where I think we often get it wrong. As soon as we see behavior we disagree with, we tighten the shackles. While discipline is good (when appropriate) and while there are times we need to crack down, sometimes we move too quickly in that area.

Our work first starts before our children ever make it to the teenage years. Are we setting healthy boundaries at a younger age? I am not talking specifically about dating boundaries, but boundaries in general. It is much healthier, although challenging, to gradually give freedom to our children in various aspects of life. This can be hard and I struggle with this myself as a father. But we need to learn as parents to allow our children to expand their boundaries and have freedom to make mistakes. I would rather deal with a bunch of small mistakes than face the consequences of a big one.

We also need to make time for our children. In this busy world where children are often treated as more of a bother than a joy, is it any wonder they seek out attention and affection elsewhere? Buying your children nice clothes, living in a nice house, and giving them a comfortable lifestyle are nice, but they will never replace time spent with parents. No dress, jet ski, or jewelry will ever replace the investment of your time.

Dating is not the problem, it is a symptom. It is a symptom of a society where we have abandoned our youth. We have abandoned them for our own satisfaction and fulfillment. We have turned over parenting to teachers, coaches, youth workers, and others (where adults are forced to parent dozens of children at time - not the best idea). We have left them to figure out life on their own. Dating is a part of a youth culture where students are forced to lean on each other because we are not there for them.

The real sin isn't dating - it's the culture where many adults have neglected their call to invest in the next generation. We have traded the promise of the future for the pleasure of the present.

shine!
Jason

Learning faith from a 6-year-old

I am not one to brag on my son too much. As a dad, of course I brag on him. But I try to be judicious in my public bragging.

That being said, I have got to share this story...

Tonight while we are at dinner, Michelle's phone rings. On the other end is her cousin. Evidently, her cousin's sister's baby (who is under a year old) is having seizures. (Note: Please keep this little one in your prayers as they work to sort out the details.)

After Michelle gets off the phone, Michelle says to Matthew that we need to remember to the baby when we pray. Now this is where it gets interesting.

Matthew turns to Michelle and says, "Let's pray for the baby right now." He then immediately starts to pray right there at the table and asks God to make it so the baby isn't sick. He asked God that it would be a miracle and that the doctors would say, "Wow!"

Obviously, Michelle and I both teared up during and after the prayer.

Two things. First, I am so proud of my wife for being a mom who trains and encourages this kind of response. She is the one who devotes hour upon hour to shaping our son while I am working. That's not to say I don't spend a lot of time with him, but she is the hardest working mom I know.

Second, I am proud of my son for showing me what real faith looks like. I often say I will pray for someone, and sometimes I forget. But not Matthew. He decides to pray on the spot. And in doing so, He shows me what it looks like to take God at His word and ask.

shine!
Jason

Next

While I have never watched the MTV Video Music Awards, I do keep an eye on pop culture. (It is one of the hazards related to my calling.) And it's been pretty hard for me to avoid the whole Britney Spears episode that has been unwinding over the last week or so.

In case you are fortunate enough to have missed out on it, here is the synopsis: Britney (if you don't know who Britney Spears is, than you really avoid pop culture) has spent the last couple of years in a career and personal nose-dive. Poor parenting, partying, self-destruction, and more.

This VMA performance was going to be the thing that revived Britney's career. However, it instead, brought embarrassment. (On a side note, it does have her back in the news, albeit not in a very positive sense.) I didn't see the performance (except for clips in the news), but I have read about it.

I honestly don't care whether Britney's career ever comes back or not. However, I am disgusted with our culture and the way they treat people like Britney.

I am not saying she is innocent. There is a huge amount of personal accountability Britney must answer for. But, she was sucked into the machine that is American pop culture.

This is a culture that values you for what you do, not who you are. It is a culture that craves you one minute and throws you away the next. It builds up these young stars, making them think they are more than they really are. Then it tosses them aside like an empty food wrapper.

What is this teaching us? Is it teaching us that someone is only valuable if they are a talented athlete, entertainer, or celebrity? Do you disagree?

Why do parents spend so much time running their children to practice for sports and a host of other activities that mostly center around entertainment?

As a parent I understand that we want our children to succeed and do well. I acknowledge the desire to see our children do something positive with their lives. But does that mean we pour a huge portion of family time into all of these things? Does it mean we sacrifice our child's childhood so they can have the edge over someone else?

I am not anti-sports or against other extracurricular activities. But are we trying to feel a sense of celebrity through the performance of our kids? Do we value them more for their talents than for who they really are?

What concerns me is that we are creating an entire generation who wants to be famous and be liked for their talent. It seems like we are setting them up for disappointment.

What happens when they don't make it to the next level? What do they do when they get out of college and have to begin real life?

And even more importantly, how does this all fit into a life of following Jesus where the first is last and the last is first? How can the celebrity culture and a call for humility and self-sacrifice co-exist?

It may not happen on a stage and on a television in front of millions, but I am afraid that we are preparing an entire generation to suffer Britney-like moments in their own lives.

A comedian stood on the same stage right after Britney exited and made comments like, “She's 25 years old and she’s
already accomplished everything she’s going to accomplish in her life“
and “Have you seen Britney’s kids? Oh my G--, they are the most
adorable mistakes you will ever see!"

I really hope my son never looks at his life at 25 and he or someone else says the same of him. But we live in a culture that values youth. I feel like the message that is being portrayed is to live while you're young and as you get older, try to keep looking young.

Americans invest millions, if not billions, in efforts to look young. I am not against taking care of ourselves, but have we become so vain that aging is looked down on?

Is Britney headed down the same path as Anna Nicole Smith? Has she been used up by society? Are her best days behind her? Will we hear on the news someday in the next couple of years that she has been found dead from a drug overdose?

Thousands of year ago, God told Samuel, "Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) Samuel was looking for a leader of Israel based on appearance.

Does God need to speak this message to us today as we continue to determine people's worth based on their looks and performance?

shine!
Jason

Family Values?

Family values has been a buzz word in recent elections. Politicians parade around proclaiming they support family values. But is it really about family values? And what are family values anyway?

When many people think of family values, they think back to the Cleavers. They were one of the "model" families on television. Dad. Mom. Two kids. The picture perfect family. But is that God's definition of family values?

I would argue that God's understanding of family and family values is not the same as 20th Century America.

Before you run off screaming into the night, keep reading. I am not discounting the value of this type of family. But evangelical churches have become so enamored with this model, that they may be doing more harm than good.

While I believe a healthy nuclear family can be a great place for spiritual development, a "healthy" nuclear family is not the answer to the world's problems either. Isn't it ironic that the more we have focused on "traditional family values," the more segmented we have become?

The answer is not to force people into a certain model. Are we saying that a single mom working over forty hours a week to support her and her children is not a family? Do we tell someone who has chosen to stay single that they don't have a place at the table?

Imagine how Jesus would have been treated by our culture. He would have had a hard time being hired as a minister, especially a youth or children's minister. Who wants a 30-year-old single male working with our kids? Why isn't he married? What's his deal?

Is our emphasis on "family values" actually devaluing many families? In our efforts to make our cultures model the biblical model, are we missing the point of what God intended family to be? Think about a few of the things Jesus had to say about families...

Luke 14:25-27
A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, "If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple."

Luke 12:49-53
"I have come to set the world on fire, and I wish it were already burning! I have a terrible baptism of suffering ahead of me, and I am under a heavy burden until it is accomplished. Do you think I have come to bring peace to the earth? No, I have come to divide people against each other! From now on families will be split apart, three in favor of me, and two against—or two in favor and three against.
   'Father will be divided against son
      and son against father;
   mother against daughter
      and daughter against mother;
   and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law
      and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.'"

Matthew 12:46-50
As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. Someone told Jesus, "Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you."
Jesus asked, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!"

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You may find it ironic that a "Minister to Families with Youth" would quote these passages. I would argue that the worship of "traditional family values" can often be destructive to the family of God. It can cause us to look down on families in different situations. It can pressure singles to get married so that they are more "valuable." It can make single parents feel like they are not real families. And isn't that the exact opposite of what Jesus was trying to accomplish?

Jesus envisions family as more than a blood-line. Family is a gathering of people who care for each other. Family is a group of people gathered together to worship God, serve one another, and spread the kingdom of God.

Some may argue this would diminish the importance of things like marriage. I would disagree. If we are serious about what God is calling us to, it would improve marriages. People would be more serious about their commitments.

It would also give equal value to everyone in the family of God. The single mom would be just as valued as the "complete" family. As a matter of fact, this view of family would encourage (I would argue it demands) other men to be involved in the life of this woman and her children.

Throughout the Bible, God calls on His people to defend the widows and the fatherless. He is not asking us to send a little money to these categories of people. He is calling us to open our lives and welcome them in.

Unfortunately, our culture has trained us that family is a place where a group of people gather for shelter. We go out into the world, each individual engaged in his or her separate life, then we periodically check in. Not every family falls into this trap, but many do to some extent.

Imagine a world where instead of families spreading themselves thin in the desire to fill their calendars with 101 activities, families opened their doors and welcomed in the lonely, forgotten people of our society.

Imagine a world where the single mom and her 3-year-old ate dinner several nights a week with another family in the church instead of crying in frustration.

Imagine a world where the widow had coffee several times a week with a few ladies instead of sitting at home alone watching TV...again.

Imagine a world where the young adult had a family to go to in his time of need, instead of going to the bar to drink away his loneliness.

This is the world that I believe God imagines. And this is the world where family is not always traditional and the boundaries we have created are torn down so that everyone is welcome. Wouldn't it be great to be in this world?

shine!
Jason

A different world

I was thinking earlier this morning that on a Tuesday morning six years ago I awoke to a typical fall morning. I remember it was a nice fall day.

I also remember that on that morning evil revealed itself to our country and the world. Four planes. Four crashes. Thousands dead.

The morning of September 12, Americans woke up in a different world. For much of the world, this was the reality they had lived with for years. Ask a Palestinian, an Israeli, or citizens of dozens of other countries. But for those of us who live in the United States, September 11, 2001, will live forever in our memories.

There was another day that was even more deadly. The body count may not have been as large that day, but it was the beginning of a war that eclipses the war on terror. It has claimed millions of lives.

It is a war that rages on today.

It is the war declared on the children of God.

In a garden full of peace, beauty, and joy, evil reared its ugly face. On a day that was probably more beautiful than the morning of September 11, darkness cast its shadow.

We are still in this war today. Every day, the forces of darkness surround us. Sin, in its many forms, serves as a weapon to defeat us. Like planes crashing into skyscrapers, sin cuts into our heart and causes damage.

Unfortunately, many of us don't look at this as a war. Church is just an activity, a social gathering. Sin is something we hear about in sermons, but don't often seem to do much about. Sure, if it's something we don't like, we launch out against it. But if it's a sin we enjoy, then we often continue and keep it quiet.

I find it interesting that some of the most adamant critics of homosexuality are also habitual gossipers.

It's ironic that some who stand opposed to abortion won't give their time or money to minister to unwed mothers.

It can be frustrating when those who speak out against drugs will often continue in their own addictions.

I am not saying that any of us are perfect. I have my own share of struggles. But let's realize this is what it is. A war.

Wars are not easy. Wars demand sacrifice.

I think many of us have forgotten that in this current war. Unless we have a friend or family member serving overseas, we aren't really sacrificing much in the war on terror.

We aren't rationing sugar or gas. As a matter of fact, gas prices (although they seem high) aren't that bad considering we are in a war. If you want to know what kind of sacrifice a war demands, talk to my dad's generation.

Until we get serious about this war, we will continue to lose people. Statistics show that somewhere between 60% and 80% of American teenagers who grow up in church abandon their faith to some extent after graduation.

I wonder if we lose many of them because we are not serious about this war. Is it because we approach church as a hobby? Is it because we say one thing in the pew and live out a different life at home? Is it because they see a lack of faith in our lives?

We live in a different world. A world not only plagued by terrorism, but a world plagued by sin. If we are going to begin to win back territory for the Kingdom of God, it's time to get serious and get in the battle.

shine!
Jason

The subtle takeover

Imagine you are standing in a room and you see two doors. On one door you see the following sign:

"Go through this door if you want to develop into a mature person. Through this door you will find peace and joy. This door will help you become more intelligent. This door will often lead to success and will make you a better person."

On the other door you read the following:

"Enter this door at your own risk. There is not much of lasting value. Entering this door will often lead to emptiness and loneliness. There is a good chance the path beyond this door will run into a dead end."

Which door would you choose?

Unfortunately, much of our culture chooses the second door. The wording on the signs isn't quite that way, but that doesn't change what is on the other side.

One area where this couldn't be more obvious to me is the way that many teenagers treat teachers versus celebrities. I will acknowledge that not all teachers are good and not all celebrities are bad, but consider the evidence.

Many teenagers virtually worship celebrities. They spend hundreds of dollars (or their parents' dollars) to buy music, go to concerts, and more. They will listen to and watch hours of "teaching" and seldom question what they hear or see.

On the other hand, many of these same teenagers will talk through classes, show teachers disrespect, and listen to little of what is being said.

I also know that often the celebrities are more "entertaining" and appeal to youth in a way teachers often can't. But my question is, what are we teaching our youth?

We often display a similar affinity for popular culture. I am not saying that all culture is bad or that we need to live in a cave. But what are we modeling for our youth?

If we give $20 at church every Sunday, but we are willing to spend $200 to attend a concert with an artist whose lyrics and values contradict the Kingdom of God, what is that saying?

If we spend $100 a month on television but we won't help a family in need, what priorities does this communicate?

I am not saying that any of us have it right, but I also think we need to be more deliberate in the "small" decisions we make. Those are the places where spiritual wars are lost.

I would hope that most of us wouldn't throw a drinking party for a teenager, but would we allow or even promote entertainment that glorifies that behavior?

I don't think many parents would allow their teenagers to have sex on the couch in front of them, but how many parents will allow their teenagers to watch TV shows and listen to music that encourages teenager sexual encounters?

Most parents would probably be frustrated and angry if they saw their teenager treating a teacher disrespectfully, but how many parents don't realize that the entertainment their teenagers watch promotes this kind of attitude and behavior towards authority figures?

I am not saying we should all turn Amish or become social hermits, but at the same time we need to be diligent and alert. What we allow to enter teenagers' minds (and ours for that matter) will shape who they (and we) become. While it is often easy to avoid the really "bad" stuff, we can often overlook or completely miss the subtle ways in which the world can steal our hearts from the One who loves us.

shine!
Jason
 

Are you missing out?

What is really important to you? Take a minute to reflect on that question.

What do you invest your time in? Think through your daily schedule.

Do those two line up?

We often say something is important to us, but when we look at our lives, some of the things we say are important aren’t really that important to us.

Jesus said, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? If anyone is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, the Son of Man will be ashamed of that person when he returns in the glory of his Father with the holy angels." (Mark 8:34-38)

Are you hanging on to your life? Are you so busy trying to fill your life for your own pleasure that you are missing out on a more abundant life?

Why do you think so many celebrities struggle with alcoholism, drug addictions, breaking the law, and even suicide? It’s because they have learned—often the hard way, unfortunately—that popularity, fame, and money are empty. Sure, those things may look glamorous. But once they get there, they realize how worthless it really is.

But we still try to capture a little of their world by dressing like them, watching TV shows about them, buying magazines about them, acting like them, and dreaming about their life. Personally, I think a lot of Christians are miserable because they try to “obey the rules” of Christianity while trying to live like a rock star. You can’t have it both ways and find the peace and joy Jesus talks about and offers.

Following Jesus is not another hobby or activity to put on your calendar; it is a radical lifestyle choice that calls you to pick up your cross and follow.

shine!
Jason

It's relationships, stupid

If you remember several years ago in a presidential campaign the slogan "it's the economy, stupid" became popular. The point was that nothing is more foundational to presidential politics than the status of the economy. Jobs, inflation, investments. These are the things that swing the vote.

I wonder if God ever looks at His creation and says "it's relationships, stupid." Now, I doubt if God would call us stupid, but He probably thinks we look awful foolish at times.

We try to make other things more important. Success. Wealth. Sports. You get the point.

We even do it when it comes to religion. I mean, think about it. Christians argue about styles of worship, spiritual gifts, and various other "doctrines."

Don't we get it? God is more concerned with relationship than anything else. He has spent all of human history trying to recover the relationship that was damaged in the Garden of Eden.

Jesus is far more than a sacrifice for our sins. (Although in our spiritual ineptitude, we often focus way too much on this aspect of His mission.) Jesus is primarily God in the flesh. Relationship lived out.

We left the Garden, so God entered the world. What was damaged with Adam and Eve was repaired by Jesus on the cross. I believe God is more concerned about fixing this world than getting us to Heaven.

If all God wanted was humans with Him in Heaven, would He really have created the world in the first place? We could have skipped this whole world thing and gone straight to Heaven.

When you look at your life and the things that seem empty, hollow, or simply insufficient, think about this. God never intended for us to strive for the things of the world. He gave us this world so we could have an abundant relationship with Him.

When you think about it, the main reason we strive for many of the things of the world is to take shortcuts in relationships. Money brings us quick friends who spend time with us for what we have. It allows us connection without having to really open up. Easy sex provides quick, artificial intimacy without long-term commitment. Popularity helps us feel important to many without having to really build trust with anyone.

Real, fulfilling life is not quick and easy. Have you ever noticed that something cooked in a Crock-pot usually tastes better than something microwaved? One is a slow process that allows things to fully cook and provides time for the flavor to develop. The other provides quick heat. Life can be the same way.

When we strive for an abundant life that has real meaning, it takes time and work. It may not always be fun or exciting, but it is far more fulfilling than the microwave life many of us settle for today.

shine!
Jason

Haircuts in heaven

I just found out that the man who gave my son, Matthew, his first haircut passed away earlier this week. Here is the obituary:

AMHERST -- James Mason Stotler, 84, of Amherst, died Saturday, Sept. 1, 2007, at Amherst Manor Nursing Home, following a lengthy illness. He was born March 18, 1923, in Portsmouth, where he was raised. He had made his home in Vermilion for 30 years before moving to, where he had lived for the last six years.

Stotler served in the U.S. Army during World War II in the European Theater, where he received the European African Middle Eastern Medal and one bronze star, the Victory Medal, the Good Conduct Medal and the American Theater Service Medals.

He attended the Columbus Barber College and owned and operated Jim's Barbershop in Amherst for many years as well as the Windjammer Barber Shop in Vermilion. He concluded his 60-year career at Delmonico's Barber shop in Vermilion. He was a member of Amherst Church of Christ. He enjoyed golfing and was an avid Ohio State football fan.

Survivors include his wife of 42 years, Betty Eileen Stotler (nee Weaver); sons Steve Dunlop of Lafayette, Ind., and Randy Stotler of Vermilion; daughters Vicki Turner of Amherst and Candi Ziegler of Wellington; and eight grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. He was preceded in death by a brother and three sisters; and by his parents, Mason and Bertie Stotler (nee Thompson).

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Jim was a great man. He was humble and kind. During the time I knew him, he never made much of a fuss about anything.

I believe that a true test of someone's character can be looking at how their children turn out. (This is not fool-proof, but often a good barometer.) I had the honor of spending three years working at the church where both of Jim's daughters are members. Both of these women are salt-of-the-earth people. They would do anything for you and are great servants. One is now the wife of an elder and the other is the wife of a deacon at that church.

I always enjoyed sitting in Jim's chair. By the time he was cutting my hair, Jim was getting older and the stories would often be the same. But spending time in that chair was often the highlight of my week. He would always have an encouraging word and a smile.

I still remember the day Matthew sat in that same chair to get his first haircut. Jim was so patient with my little boy who had no real desire to be there. He just smiled and patiently trimmed Matthew's hair.

Jim will be missed. He will be missed by his friends from the barber shop. He will be missed by his church. He will be missed by his family. But I imagine that even today there are probably people in Heaven lining up to sit in Jim's chair.

shine!
Jason

Time to shine

Time to shine.

Time to be in the spotlight.

Time to show what you've got.

Athletes and others often hear this expression when it's time to look their best. Whether it's the playoffs, an interview, or whatever the situation might be, there are times when people strive to do their best.

For Christian teenagers, this expression should take on a similar, but slightly different meaning this time of year.

Today I passed school buses on the way to the church building. I listened to students talk - some with excitement, others with disappointment - about the fact that school starts today. Except for a few private schools which started earlier, most Michigan schools start back the Tuesday after Labor Day.

Today is the day students walk the halls for the first time in a few months. They will see old friends they haven't seen most of the summer and they will make new friends. They will see familiar teachers and teachers they don't know yet. There will be some classes that are easy and others that are not.

But the question I want to consider is this: Will they shine?

I know this is not an easy question to answer or an easy call to live up to. Granted, I am not a teenager in today's world, but I know it is harder than it was even ten years ago. The stakes are higher, the pressures are greater, and the environment is more hostile.

This summer I have watched many of the students in our youth ministry grow spiritually. They have blossomed in their faith and learned a lot about themselves and the adventure of following Jesus.

But will they have the strength to keep going?

It can be so hard. They have class all day, hours of homework, friends who can pull them in various directions, after school activities, entertainment, and so much more. Then at some point they have to make room for God. Will there be much room left?

If you are a student, here is my challenge: Make time for God. Even if it means letting grades slide a little bit, spending less time with friends, cutting out an activity or two, or turning off the TV. While all of those things are important, can anyone honestly say they are more important than a relationship with God?

Let me add that this is not an excuse to get bad grades, blow off friends, or quit everything. It is about priorities. It is about giving 100% to everything you do. It is about making the tough decisions to let go of things that handicap your effectiveness in the Kingdom of God.

I will admit this is not easy. And it doesn't really get easier when you are an adult. But if we are willing to make the tough choices now, choices down the road become easier and following God becomes our lifestyle.

One word of advice to parents. You can't always force your children to make these decisions. They need to learn from their own mistakes. Our role as adults is to serve as mentors and provide ever-widening boundaries to help young adults grow and develop. None of us will ever get it all right, but let's be willing to avoid the two extremes of legalism and hands-off parenting. Somewhere in between is a beautiful dance where we patiently and steadily help students find their role in the Kingdom of God.

Let's dance the dance boldly and shine for the One who made us.

shine!
Jason

The gospel in Blacksburg

I just finished watching the pregame ceremonies for the Virginia Tech football game. This is the first football game since April 16, when 32 members of the Virginia Tech community were senselessly gunned down.

Of course there was a moment of silence, a memorial video, and other tributes. But what impacted me the most is what happened right before the game.

Before most football games, the teams enter the field generally. This often leads to screaming and cheering for the home team and booing for the away team. Today, however, the teams entered the field at the same time as a symbol of unity. There was no booing. The entire stadium joined together in a loud cheer.

Obviously, most of the people in the stadium were cheering for Virginia Tech. The difference is there was no booing against the visiting team.

This brings two thoughts to mind:

First of all, why can't this be a tradition at all sporting events? Why do we feel a need to boo and put down someone just because they play for a different team? Aren't we all created in the image of God? Aren't we all human beings on this journey called life? When you think about it, does it really make sense to degrade someone because they wear a different colored uniform and play for a different team?

I am not against cheering for your team. But there is a difference between positive encouragement for a team you support and putting down someone else.

If you are a big sports fan, like I can be at times, this can be difficult.

However, the second thought is even more challenging to me. Why do followers of Jesus often treat "sinners" the same way? I use that term loosely because we are all sinners. But I use it because it is often a derogatory term used by Christians to describe non-Christians.

Why do we feel it is OK to put someone down simply because they don't know Jesus? The apostle Paul wrote, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

I would challenge us all to learn a lesson from Virginia Tech. Whether it's an opposing sports team or someone who is not yet a Christ-follower, there is no reason for us to use degrading words, attitudes, or actions towards another human being. God has called us to join Him in the mission of restoring Creation to it's original state. That begins one relationship at a time, reaching out to bring healing and reconciliation across every line that divides.

shine!
Jason