Keep it in perspective

I just watched the New England Patriots make pro football history. Undefeated. 16-0.

I came to my computer to check the news and the "Breaking News" story was about the Patriots.

Let me preface that I am a big football fan. NFL. College. High school. I like it all.

But while many of the citizens of New England celebrate an undefeated season, they will drive by defeated people sitting on street corners, living in cardboard boxes, and struggling to survive. People, often defeated by situations beyond their control, will spend tonight in the cold. They will go without a meal.

There are people who probably paid more for a seat at this "historic" game than many people in the world earn in a year. All to watch a sporting event.

Like I said, I really enjoy football. But when entertainment consumes us and the justice of God becomes a footnote to our lives, have we lost our way?

Tonight and in the days ahead, sports analysts and armchair quarterbacks will spend hours and hours talking about where this 16-0 season stands among other sports accomplishments. Meanwhile, there is a good chance someone will sit outside of a sports bar wondering why no one is paying attention to him. While multi-million dollar athletes celebrate winning a game, someone will likely lose their life due to the effects of poverty.

I am not saying we should never enjoy entertainment. I am not saying that the New England Patriots' accomplishment should go unnoticed. But in the grand scheme of Creation, let's keep it in perspective.

shine!
Jason

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to everyone! I came across this and it made me think of the many men and women who are away from their families this Christmas because they are serving around the world in our military. Thank you.

shine!
Jason

 

12 Days of Christmas

My wife, who loves barbershop/a cappella style music, came across this on YouTube. Even if this style of music isn't your thing, I think you will enjoy it. Merry Christmas!

shine!
Jason

Season of giving

Last night was one of the highlights of the year for me. Our ministry hosted our second annual "Adopt-a-Family" evening. We work with God's Helping Hands to find a family to adopt for Christmas. This year we were blessed with a family of five as well as a senior citizen.

Around 6:30 pm, we gathered in The Hub (our main teen room) for a Christmas meal consisting of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and a lot more. (The real work started earlier when several parents and students started cooking the meal.) This was a fabulous meal - not just because of the food (it was yummy!), but because of the spirit in the room as well.

Imagine a room of over 60 people sitting around tables sharing a meal. In the center of this collection of people sat our honored guests. It was a festive and cheerful time.

As we wrapped up our meal, our honored guests came up on the stage, joined by a few students. We had some furniture on the stage next to the Christmas tree with gifts underneath. The teenagers took turns handing out gifts and enjoying the experience with our guests.

I want to take a minute to tell you how much I love the parents and teenagers that are a part of the Rochester Church. They are loving and compassionate people who are willing to give of their time, resources, and energy. They are salt and light in a world often draped in darkness. From the people who donated money, to those who shopped for the presents, to those who helped prepare, to those who were a part of the evenings activities, there were dozens of people who made this a special night. 

By the end of the evening we had provided a family with winter coats, boots, gloves, and more. Shirley, our senior citizen guest, received several gifts, including some gift cards to help with gas and other living expenses. Then we surrounded our new friends and prayed over them. I think Shirley expressed the most important gift she received when she said to the crowded room, "I don't feel alone anymore."

The apostle Paul said, "And I have been a constant example of how you can help those in need by working hard. You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'" (Acts 20:35) My prayer is that through Adopt-a-Family, our families have experienced the truth of these words.

shine!
Jason

Philosophy of Family Ministry

One more excerpt from my Family Ministry Plan for my grad class…

Ministry is most effective when it is framed in the context of family. For the last several decades, many churches and para-church organizations seem to have created and built ministries which effectively treat each member of the family as a separate entity. Ministries such as Promise Keepers, as well as traditional youth ministries and children’s ministries, focus primarily on the needs of specific ages and genders.

While addressing the needs of dads, moms, teenagers, children, and other groups of people has its place in the family of God, we cannot minister to these specific groups while essentially ignoring the complexity of the family as a living, breathing entity. Especially in the local congregation, we must have an overarching approach to ministry that includes and involves the entire family. When we miss that piece of the puzzle, we will often work to fix the pieces without considering how they will all fit back together.

Youth ministry seems to be one of the worst offenders when it comes to dissecting families. For years, traditional youth ministry has aimed to minister to teenagers while mostly ignoring – and sometimes even combating – parents. Many youth ministers have looked at parents as the enemy. This is an unhealthy approach that can place the youth minister at odds with those who should be his greatest ally. This segmented approach to youth ministry often ignores the fact that the most powerful minister in any teenager’s life should be her parents.

Family ministry demands a different approach for all ages and stages of life. It calls us to find ways to equip and empower every member of the nuclear family and the larger church family, regardless of a particular person’s family situation. Whether working with a single young adult, a young couple, families with children, families with teens, or adults in the later stages of life, we must consider the needs of the individuals as well as their role and needs in the context of the faith community. This is central to the purpose and function of family ministry.

Family ministry must seek ways not only to help the individual members of a family; it must also strive to help various family members work together in the process of spiritual formation. In the words of Diana Garland, "family ministry is helping persons live as they ought to in family life, according to the purposes and promises of God."¹

Essentially, family ministry is a place where people learn to live together according to God’s design for relationships. It must be proactive in an effort to prevent problems while also remaining prepared to react to situations that arise. Family ministry that only waits for disaster to strike or pretends everything is fine is destined to fail. One will always be running to catch up and the other will not be ready to deal with the realities of life in the 21^st century.

¹Diana Garland, Family Ministry (Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Academic, 1999), 367

shine!
Jason

A Biblical Framework for Family Ministry

Below is an excerpt from my Family Ministry Plan for my grad class...

Throughout history God has worked through the family to meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of others. It may not have always been through the “traditional” family that many American churches espouse today, but the family unit, in various forms, has been central to God’s redemptive work for generations.

Community, a key characteristic of any healthy family, is central to the character of God. In the persons of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, we witness a divine being who is community. The relationship between the persons of the Godhead illustrates that community is not something God created solely for us. Community is who God is. Since we are created in the image of God, community within family must be a primary vehicle for ministry.

Even early in the history of God’s people, we see an emphasis on spiritual development that is based in the family. As he reminded the nation of Israel about God’s commandments, Moses stood before them and spoke the following words:

“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, NLT)

Long before organizations such as Focus on the Family, God was instructing His people to live by example and teach about faith in the context of the family community. To the nation of Israel, ministry and spiritual development was not a program, it was a part of life.

The apostle Paul echoes the sentiments of Moses in his letters to Ephesus and Colosse, where he emphasizes the importance of spiritual formation in the family. Paul’s letters included the following comments to families:

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.”
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4, NLT)

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. (Colossians 3:18-21, NLT)

Throughout the unfolding story of the people of God, we are reminded of the importance of anchoring spiritual growth within the context of family. It is in the family where people know us best, and living out grace and mercy is often the most challenging. I believe this is why God focuses on the family as one of the most important places for spiritual growth to occur.

shine!
Jason

Why doesn't he/she like me?

In the final week of the six part series titled "God, Are You There?", we discuss dating and how God created us to connect with members of the opposite sex.

Why doesn't he or she like me?

Skeletons in the closet

If you look at the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1, you find that Jesus comes from a family with skeletons in the closet.

You find Tamar, a women who disguised herself as a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law Judah, because of a broken promise in the family.

Later we find Rahab, another prostitute.

Ruth, a women who was not even a Jew, owns a place in Jesus’ line of descendants.

David and Bathsheba, who committed adultery that led to the murder of Bathsheba’s husband Uriah, are one of the centerpieces of Jesus’ family history.

I find hope that when we look back at the generations that preceded Jesus, He had a family with a host of issues and problems. Jesus, like many of us, has a family with plenty of things to hide or be ashamed of.

If you are ever embarrassed about or frustrated with your family, look at where Jesus came from. If God can bring a Messiah from a family with a history like this, imagine what He can do in our lives, regardless of where we come from.

shine!
Jason

A sore thumb

Today I helped with Matthew's homeschool co-op and was "co-opted" into helping at one of the stations during craft time. My role was to help children use a hammer and nail to punch holes through a metal lid and make a Christmas ornament out of it.

Overall I really enjoyed helping. But (you knew there had to be a but), my experience with one girl was not so enjoyable.

For some of the younger children I would hold the nail in place while the students hammered. (You can probably see where this is going.) Suffice it to say that this girl's aim with the hammer was off a bit.

I can't count on one hand, including my thumb, how many times she missed the target and made contact with my finger or thumb instead. My thumb was the most violently violated victim when her swing of the hammer made direct contact. Ouch! It still hurt several hours later.

However, the joy that little girl and her parents will experience as she hangs that ornament on the Christmas tree will be worth the pain.

Isn't the community we call the church often the same way? We take a risk to help others, and sometimes we get hurt. It might be intentional. Often it's accidental. But in a variety of ways we are hurt by people when we seek to help them.

Instead of a bruised thumb, we might have a bruised ego.

In place of a wounded finger, we might find hurt feelings.

Helping people often requires risk. The risk of being let down. The risk of broken promises. The risk of rejection. The risk of disappointment.

If you are thinking back to times when you took a risk to help someone and ended up getting hurt, think about the following: When God sent Jesus to Earth, He took a huge risk. And what do we do in return? Let Him down? Break our promises? Reject Him? Disappoint Him?

God understands your risk. He can relate to your pain. But like God, we must continue to take risks to help others. It's a part of our mission and our call to follow Jesus, even if it means pain and suffering. Think about what Jesus was willing to suffer. It's a lot worse than a bruised ego, hurt feelings, or a sore thumb could ever be.

shine!
Jason

Technical difficulty

Due to a technical difficulty, this week's 180 Connections lesson was not recorded. Next week is the last week of the current series, "God, are you there?"

The Gift of Sex

I just finished reading the book The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment, by Clifford & Joyce Penner. This book is great, and not only for the reasons you might think.

This is the most honest book I have ever read about sexual intimacy. These authors are practical, honest, straight-forward, while remaining faithful to God's plan for sex.

This book reinforced some things I already knew and provided fresh perspective on some other things. While I know that sexual intimacy is God-ordained for marriage, the Penners reminded me of why this is so and how God created sex specifically for a husband and wife.

Sex is designed to enhance intimacy between husband and wife. It creates bonds that were only intended to be shared with one person. True sexual intimacy requires open communication, honesty, and vulnerability.

In an age when sex is often treated more like recreation than a special, valued connection, this book reminds us that sex in a marriage can be powerful, wonderful, and better than anything we see on TV or in a movie.

True sexual satisfaction comes when it isn't about us. God created us to be giving beings who find our greatest satisfaction from sharing, not taking. Unfortunately, our culture surrounds us with messages that sex is about getting all we can out of it.

All you have to do is wait in line at a grocery story to see what I mean. It seems as though almost every women's or men's magazine has at least one article on the cover about how to have better sex. In our instant gratification society, we seek sexual fulfillment as another entitlement or service that brings us pleasure.

This flies in the face of God's plan and design for sex. It is really about our willingness to set aside our desires and connect with that one special person who we have committed our life to. It is intended to be a selfless act where we seek the pleasure of the other person to such as extent that we find pleasure as well. When we can do that, our marriages will be stronger, our families will be healthier, and we will be better prepared to live out the message of grace and mercy that God has authored for us.

Sexuality is not primarily about a physical act. It is about being created in the image of a relational God who calls us to share an intimacy with our spouse that reflects the nature of God.

shine!
Jason

Permission to question

I love working with teenagers. I guess that is why I do what I do.

I love the questions they ask. They wrestle with faith. They question God. They address issues that many adults either are afraid to or don't know how to.

I love the fact that they don't think they have all the answers.

But these years can be a struggle for adults, especially parents.

As a parent of a six-year-old, I am beginning to understand the investment parents make in their children. I think about the hours I spend reading the Bible with Matthew. I reflect on our prayers in his bedroom, around the kitchen table, and at various other times. I smile when I remember the theological discussions we have had about God, death, and so much more.

I can imagine the frustration a parent must feel when this child in whom they have invested over a decade begins to seemly reject all of the effort that has been put forth. I have witnessed the anger and sorrow of parents who feel like their children are walking away from the faith that has been taught and lived out around them.

My message to parents is to give your teenagers some space to sort out things for themselves. I am learning that the surest way to push your kids away from Jesus is to insist they never question what you believe. Do you want your teenagers to reject God? Then reject their questions, doubts, and faith struggles.

This can be so hard. But until teenagers have the freedom to take your faith, wrestle with it, and come up with their own faith, they will not develop into mature followers of Jesus.

Let me address a practical issue that seems to often come up when I am having this discussion with someone. This does not mean that there are no boundaries and guidelines. Wrestling with faith is not a license for a teenager to do whatever he or she wants. Questioning God's guidelines on sex is not an open invitation to experiment sexually. Doubts about whether or not God exists does not give a teenager permission to be disrespectful about your faith or church.

I don't believe there is one right way to navigate this rocky stretch of road in the spiritual formation process. Every teenager is different. Every parent is different. Every journey is unique.

However, if we want our young people to become healthy, mature followers of Jesus, we must afford them a safe space in which to ask questions, share their fears, and think out loud about matters of faith in God. This is not the easy route, but it is the one that is best. And isn't that what we want for our children in the end?

shine!
Jason

Night lights

Every night when it comes time for Matthew to go to bed, he walks over and turns on his night light. It provides a little light in the middle of a dark room. It provides comfort and assurance. It let's him know that he can see if anything or anyone is in the room. It helps him see if he wakes up in the middle of the night. It keeps dark things at a distance.

It's not all that much different when we get older. We walk under the street lights. We look forward to the porch light being on when we get home. We are more comfortable walking into our house at night when there is a light on.

Light. Dark.

Good. Evil.

As he announced the birth of Jesus, Zechariah spoke these words...

Because of God’s tender mercy,
      the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
      and to guide us to the path of peace. (Luke 1:78-79)

The morning light of heaven did indeed break upon us. This Light walked among us. This Light did give light to those sitting in darkness and the shadow of death.

The woman caught in adultery had another chance.

The blind man regained his sight.

The dead found new life.

This week I witnessed the shadow of death. I followed news reports of an athlete gunned down in his own home. Just as he was turning his life around, it was taken from him.

I also dealt with death closer to home as a teenager who used to be a part of the Rochester faith community was killed in a car accident. While I never knew this young lady, her death has significantly impacted some of the families at our church.

Why do these things happen? Why do good people experience death and suffering?

While I don't understand everything that happens in this world and can't answer those questions completely, I do know one thing. God calls us to be a "light from heaven" that "gives light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death."

We don't have to understand all of the "whys" to know the "how." Regardless of why people are killed or suffer or experience pain, we are often the "how" that God uses to bring healing to these situations.

It's OK to ask the why questions. There is nothing wrong with questioning God in these moments. But at the same time, we must strive to bring light to times of darkness. In the midst of questions and struggle, we should offer a hand of compassion.

When darkness seems to rule the day, we can be the night light that provides comfort and assurance for those who are hurting.

shine!
Jason