Cover up

We are always looking for new ways to define ourselves on the outside.

Women (and some men) wear make-up.

We shop for clothing with certain labels and fashions.

We go to the gym to build muscles and look more toned.

We go to the salon to get our hair done.

We go to the tanning booth.

None of the above are intrinsically bad. But they can all be used to define us on the exterior to avoid dealing with the blemishes inside. And sometimes the focus on the outside can be taken to the extreme.

Celebrities and everyday people struggle with eating disorders; some do so to achieve the "right" thinness.

Some people take excessive medications to achieve the "perfect" figure.

Others will spend thousands on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to defy the laws of nature and aging.

Why are we so fixated on external appearances?

I would argue that for many it is an excuse from the pain, scars, and various other internal imperfections we all wrestle with.

I find it interesting that those who the world often considers "the most beautiful," are the ones who end up in rehab, prison, broken relationships, and sometimes even death.

In spite of all the evidence around us, so many still try to reach for the artificial satisfaction of external perfection. And how has this impacted our youth? This is where I am really concerned.

I talk with teenagers almost every week who struggle with eating disorders, cutting, depression, low self-esteem, and so much more. They feel inferior and worthless. They feel judged and rated by everyone around them. Unless their peers call them beautiful and sexy, they feel they are not good enough.

This is madness. I don't say that to say that the teenagers are to blame. What about the parents and other adults that feed this monster? How often do we fall prey to the message of external appearances? When do we place more value on our teenagers' looks, clothes, athletic abilities, intellect, and more?

Sure, we need to encourage our youth to be the best they can be, but why do we so often resort to defining who they are by what they do? I would argue there are at least two main reasons:

First of all, we have bought into the lie. We watch TV just like they do. We read magazines that propogate the same messages. We play the same games in our lives that they do. We worry about the car we drive, the clothes we wear, and what neighborhood we live in. We compare ourselves to those around us to see who appears - and I emphasize the word appears - to have the best life and lifestyle. We are bringing the lie into our homes, and the in process poisoning our children.

Second of all, too many adults - I believe - try to make their children an extension of themselves in an unhealthy way. For example, I watch parents who appear to base their value on the athletic ability of their child. There is nothing wrong with being proud of your child. I smile with pride when Matthew has an accomplishment. But Matthew's abilities do not define who I am. My self-worth does not hinge on my son's performance. But for some parents, this appears to be the case. Not only does this reveal the adult's lack of self-confidence (likely fueled by a life-long pursuit of performance and appearance based value), it also places an unfair burden on the child.

Maybe it's time for a reality check. Maybe Jesus was dealing with more than the pride of the religious leaders of His day when He said, "You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness." (Matthew 23:27-28)

Maybe when Jesus spoke those words He was touching on a weakness of all human beings. Our sense of pride and focus on our outward appearance. Our struggles are not new and the challenge has existed for thousands of years. When we can look like we have it together on the outside, we can try to ignore the inside.

One of the biggest complaints I often hear is that Christians don't look much different than the world. Maybe we need to challenge the church to look inside of ourselves and stop trying to cover up like the world. I wonder how much differently our message would be received if we were willing to stop the cover up.

shine!
Jason