Too bad the rest of the children aren't safe

Yesterday, two young children were rescued, on some level, from a life of insanity. Britney Spears dropped off her two boys, Sean and Jayden, with a bodyguard of her ex-husband, Kevin Federline. I am not sure what kind of future these two boys will face, but at least for now they appear to have been removed from the self-destructive life of their mom.

Before this begins to sounds like a Britney-bashing session, I want to be clear that I feel sorry for her. While she has made many of the decisions that have basically destroyed her life, Britney is also a victim of a culture that uses celebrities and throws them away when they are done with them. (See my other entry about Britney)

While these two boys may have been removed, at some level, from the influence of their mom, thousands of other young people have been significantly impacted by Britney. For years, teenagers, especially girls, have looked to Britney to decide how they dress, how they act, and a variety of other things. While no one celebrity is solely responsible for the way our youth have been impacted by pop culture, Britney is certainly one of the "poster children" for the pop culture that has influenced our young people so much.

What used to be shorter skirts and making out with Madonna several years ago, has evolved into drinking binges, rehab, and poor parenting.

But all of this raises an even more important question. Where are the parents of the teenagers who are being shaped by this?

Not every parent can know what their teenager is doing every minute of every day, but how many parents significantly disengage from their children's lives during adolescence? Teenagers may not want their parents telling them what to do, but most teenagers want their parents to care about what they do.

Do you want to make a difference in the life of your teen? Don't just tell them what they need to do and what they are doing that is wrong. Ask them about their life, then sit and listen. Don't react immediately to what they say. Don't judge what they say. Just listen. Give them permission to be honest, without you lashing back.

I believe that one reason celebrities have so much influence on today's youth is because they seem to understand what teenagers are going through. Their songs reflect what teens are feeling. Their characters often imitate "typical" teen life. Sure, they are often over-the-top, but they are perceived as being understanding and caring.

While we must set boundaries for our youth, at the same time we must be willing to listen to what's going on in their lives. When we are willing to listen without trying to have an answer for everything, they will be more likely to share. When we are willing to listen in order to understand them, not to correct them, they will share more.

Sure, Britney's children might be safer not living under the same roof as their wild mom, but there are plenty of other young people being influenced and shaped every day by Britney, Lindsay, Paris, and a host of others. Are we willing to listen to our youth with an open heart and an open mind so that we can have a deeper, more meaningful dialogue to help them figure out this crazy stage of life called adolescence?

shine!
Jason