Well, I woke up this morning to the fact that I am only one year from 40. Yes, today I turn 39. Well, technically, I am not 39 years old until 5:22pm EST today.
So what does 39 mean? Not much really. I came to the conclusion long ago that I am going to live my life, not my age. There are times I feel like I am in my 40's and times I act like I am in my 20's.
I have to say that one of the things that makes me feel old and young - sometimes simultaneously - is working with teenagers. There are times when I am wrestling with one of the guys, playing basketball, or staying up until two or three in the morning talking that I remember I am not 21 anymore. There are also times when I feel invigorated by being in the presence of students who are energetic and passionate. It is a blessing to do what I do. Sometimes I am amazed that I get paid to do something I love so much. God has been way more faithful to me than I deserve.
The longer I live, the more I realize how insignificant and significant I truly am. While this statement seems like a paradox, don't a lot of things in the Kingdom of God? Jesus is wholly man and God. God is three and one. The first shall be last. Well, you get the idea.
So how can I be both insignificant and significant? I have discovered that in the grand scope of creation, I am but a vapor. I am a speck of dust. I came from dirt and to dirt I will return. I am one of billions of people in the world. I may gain the false illusion that having a lot of friends on Facebook means I am well known, but for every one friend I have on Facebook, there are over 4 million people who don't have a clue who Jason Steckel is. In 100 years, there's a good chance almost no one will know I ever lived. Feeling tiny yet? I do.
On the other hand, I am treasured by the Creator of the universe. The God that spoke "let there be light" and there was, formed me in my mother's womb. The One who placed the stars in the sky, the One who molded the mountains and dug out the seas, the One who designed this intricate, organic machine we call a body, He knows my name. He cherishes me. He knows me inside and out. When I awaken in the morning, He is there. When I lay down at night, I am in His presence. There is nowhere I can go where He is not. I am His son, His prized possession.
This is the mystery of life that I am still amazed by and the puzzle that I can never seem to find every piece for. It is what keeps me humble, but yet lifts me up. It is the wind that knocks me down and carries me forward.
While I am just one person among billions, God is inviting me to be a part of His dream for this world. While I may be just one drop in an ocean of people, I am a part of God's family. I am a dwelling place for the Holy Spirit and an outpost of light. As imperfect and fallen as I am, God has entrusted me to be a husband, a father, a son, and a minister. He has created me with a unique set of abilities, talents, and passions.
As I turn 39, I realize that life is not about how many days I have lived. It's about how I am living my days. My prayer is that in my insignificance, I can bring glory and honor to the One in whose eyes I am significant.
shine!
Jason
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