Why am I in ministry?

Last night as I sat in my grad class discussing and thinking about ministering to families, this question surfaced in my mind: What is it that draws me to ministry? In addition to my love of God, my desire to serve Him and my love for people, why is it that I had dedicated my life to ministering to youth and their families?

The more I thought about it, the more I started to get a pain inside. I was taken back to my youth and I remember how lost I often felt. It's funny how when we often look back on our teen years we only remember the good stuff. But last night as I reflected back a lot of the reality of those years came to the surface.

I remember struggling to figure out who I was.

I remember wanting someone, anyone frankly, to accept me for who I was.

I remember sitting in classes, so distracted by my loneliness that I was oblivious to my surroundings.

I remember writing poems trying to vent some of the hurt on the inside.

I remember wanting a girlfriend just to give me some sort of identity.

I remember even more that I don't want to share right now.

I know that times have changed. And what scares me so much is that today's teenagers often face even more loneliness and pain than I experienced. Sure, they often hide it well from us adults, but the reality is that they have been abandoned by us.

So as I think about why I am in ministry, I think a part of it is to deal with my own issues from my teenage years. I hope that in some small way I can help parents and students find common ground. Navigating adolescence is hard for the parent and teenager. The parent wants to desperately hold on to his or her child while also acknowledging this child is becoming their own person. The teenager desperately wants to find himself or herself while still knowing that there is a safe place called home where there is unconditional love.

This dance called adolescence was not always a pleasant experience for me. There were many lonely times filled with hurt and pain.

There is no one who will go through life without experiencing pain and difficulties, but my prayer is that I will be able to help someone find a path on the journey where the pain is diminished and they have a better glimpse of the abundant life Jesus promises us.

shine!
Jason