Orphans among us

It seems like we are surrounded by orphans these days.

No, there are not children wandering the streets in search of a place to live. These children know their parents. Most of them live with at least one of their parents. But they are orphans nonetheless.

The type of orphans I am talking about often say goodbye to their parents early in the morning as they head off to school and they will likely not have another meaningful conversation with mom or dad until well after dinner. After school they run off to practice, a game, or some other performance. They will get home in time to grab a snack, go to their room, turn on their music or TV, and work on a little homework. They might even jump on-line to chat with friends.

I thought about this earlier today as I drove by a soccer game in Rochester. On the field are children who spend hours and hours a week with adults other than their parents. This is in addition to the seven or eight hours a day they spend at school. Then these children play a game where they might see their parents on the sideline. (At least I hope they do.)

But have we created a situation where our desire to give our children every opportunity has robbed them of the most important opportunity - meaningful relationship with their parents?

While sports, hobbies, and other extracurricular activities are not inherently bad, when we allow them to supplant the role of parents, they can become dangerous. The absence of time to build meaningful relationships at home can reduce a parent's ability to have an impact on their children.

When parents only have a few hours a week, they may often avoid conflict - conflict which is healthy for maturing a child. Others homes may be so stressed because of the hectic schedule that arguments and conflict are the norm. The lack of consistency relationally will often impact the family.

Parents must have the courage and wisdom to make the right decisions for their family. There is no one right answer for all families, but there are definitely boundaries we must maintain. We must be careful to avoid investing inordinate amounts of time in activities and events that are not as important. Over 99% of teenagers will never play a professional sport, but the vast majority of them will be a parent someday. Why are we willing to spend so much of our time and resources on athletics and other hobbies while neglecting time together as a family?

shine!
Jason