The neuterization of our youth

At the outset, this might see to directly contradict what I just wrote in the last two entries, but stick with me...

I think we have neutered our youth. Many of them have become uninterested in church because it isn't really relevant to their lives. And they might be right. We want them to do church our way, live out their faith our way, and understand God and the Bible our way. But what if our way is wrong? Or maybe the better thought is that maybe our way is wrong for their time.

But you might argue that we do Christianity the right way. Really? Many in my particular tribe believe that we are the "First Century Church" or the "New Testament Church" or a variety of other phrases that basically state that we do church the way it was originally intended. Really? Do you really think they sang all those songs written in the 1700's and 1800's? (Oops, that was a few years earlier.) Do we forget the fact that the first church building was probably built in the 3rd century? What about those passages in Acts chapter two that talk about followers of Jesus meeting daily and sharing all they had? I think you get the point.

What if what we call Christianity isn't best for the next generation? Before you panic, I am not talking about the core beliefs of Christianity. God is still God. Jesus is still His Son. The Holy Spirit is alive and well. I think we need to stick with the seven "ones" in Ephesians 4.

I think the fact that we have missed the boat on this thought is what is driving many children from the faith. We want them to continue doing church our way. A way that may not connect with their generation or the culture they are in the midst of. So they leave because we have constructed a God that doesn't fit in their construct. Our "God" doesn't make sense based on what life looks like to them.

It is so cliche , I hate to say it. But the youth are not the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today. Look over the history of God's people and you will see those who accomplished great things at a young age. Josiah was a mere 26 when he called the entire nation of Israel to renew their covenant with God. Joan of Arc was never made it past her teen years and is still remembered to this day. Martin Luther King, Jr was in his mid-20's when he began developing as a leader in the civil rights movement. Cassie Bernall was seventeen when she was killed in the Columbine massacre for voicing her faith in God.

I will readily admit that I get uncomfortable at times when young people want to express their faith in new ways. Whether it's new music, a new way to share the Good News, or a new approach to ministry, every generation has a way of irritating the last generation.

We like church the way we have grown used to. We like the songs we sing. We feel like we have figured out what it means to be a Christian. And just as we get comfortable with what have, along comes the next generation to stir the pot for us. And how we react will make all the difference.

For those of us who are unwilling to engage in conversation with the next generation because "we have it right," their children will react in a number of ways. Some will accept a faith that never really becomes their own faith. Others will leave God. Some will find a church that is more relevant to their life.

Others just say to let them go and do their own thing. This can often lead to a church that follows the "Friends" model. (I am talking about the TV show, not the religious group.) In this scenario, there is little wisdom gained from previous generations and many of these Christians fail to respect or reflect on the tradition and history of the church. This type of movement seems to be more popular in recent years as churches are buying into the "marketing" concept of church.

I think a healthy balance is what we really need. Young people need room to explore their faith knowing that they are supported by a loving family that covers multiple generations. This is hard! Hard for everyone.

For teenagers it can be hard because they don't want to listen to the "old people."

For adults it can be a challenge because they want teenagers to be safe and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

For youth ministers it can be a challenge because we want to make teenagers and parents happy. And the truth is that when we are being most effective, we will frustrate people on both sides. Teenagers will be angry with us because we challenge their sinful behavior and seem to take the side of their parents in some situations. Parents will be upset with us because we seem to undermine their authority as we help students to sort out their own faith.

If we want to help families with youth engage the faith journey both individually and collectively, it will require patience, love, prayer, and a lot of work. It is not for the faint at heart. And we have to acknowledge that we might make more mistakes than we want to along the way. This is a difficult calling we have answered.

One of our chief goals should be to help teenagers see the wisdom of adults, as misguided - although often sincere - as it may be, while helping parents see the passion of teenagers, as misguided - although often sincere - as it may be. There will be plenty of sin and struggles to deal with for everyone involved. We must continually encourage each other to look more and more like Jesus. But we must be careful that we discern the difference between sinful behavior and behavior that just looks different than what we are comfortable with.

This is not easy. It is easy to jump to conclusions and make rash judgments. It requires much more effort to look at each situation and willingly engage in conversation. But when we are willing to make the extra effort, we can free our teenagers to develop their own faith, a faith that will last. And when they do that, there is no limit to how God can use them to expand the borders of His Kingdom.

shine!
Jason