Before you run to www.dictionary.com, yes "ghettoization" is a real world. The definition is the noun form of ghettoize, "to place or collect in a ghetto." In other words, a group of people that gathers in one area to live.
Anyway, my question is this... Are we in youth ministry guilty of ghettoizing our youth? I would venture to argue that this is not a malicious or intentional action. Rather, I believe it is an extension of what we believe or are led to believe is best for our students. Most youth ministry conferences I go to invest a good chunk of time discussing how to make teen-friendly ministry. We talk about teen culture and how to bring the gospel into it. How we can be relevant.
I believe these are important questions that must be answered. They are valid considerations. But I think we often take the shortcut of stopping there. We build ministries around a mini-church of youth. Whether it's a basement, a room upstairs, a separate building, or just one classroom, we create this "place" for our students to belong. Their safe haven from the "old people." The place where they can be kids. And in the process we often rob them of the vital cross-generational influence that God intends for them to have.
Some of the most mature Christian teenagers I have met never had a youth minister. They grew up in a small church where their parents and other adults were the youth ministers. They didn't have a "professional" creating flashy classes, coming up with trendy events, and spending time taking them to various youth events. They were shaped and molded by mature Christians who provided the wisdom and experience of years of following Jesus, making mistakes, and growing in faith.
I am not putting the full-time youth minister down at all. We play a valuable role in the faith development of teens. We just shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. Our goal is not to be THE adult for our students. We should simply be one person on a team of adults who seeks to transform students into the image of Jesus. If we full-time youth ministers would invest as much time in adults as we do in students, our efforts would be multiplied exponentially. If there is one thing we need to learn, it's this one truth..."It's not about us!"
I firmly believe that one of the factors that often leads to the ghettoization of Christian youth is the youth minister's feeling that he has to be the savior of the students. Again, I don't think that the vast majority of youth ministers do this intentionally; it is result of our calling. We care about students. We want them to know Jesus. We pray for them. We minister to them. The problem is that we need to learn to let go and find our true role.
When students go off to college, I would venture to guess that most of them don't call their youth minister a few times a week to update them on the happenings at college. These young adults call their parents. (Or at least most of them do.) Sure, they will talk to us when they visit home. They might chat with us online or send us a message over Facebook or MySpace. But for the vast majority of students, their main contact back home will be mom and dad.
We MUST tap into parents and other adults if we really want to make the biggest impact on our students. To some youth ministers this may sound strange, but the truth is that we need to spend less time with our students to have a greater impact. Why? Because we need to invest some of that time in other adults. I realize that what this looks like will vary for every church. I serve a church of over 1200 members with a youth group close to 100 in number. Just a few years ago I was serving a church of 150 people with a youth group just over a dozen. These two situations call for vastly different models. The principle is the same, but the praxis will be different.
I could go on and on about this, but let me finish with a few questions for you to ponder...
How much time do you spend with students?
How much time do you spend equipping other adults?
How much time do you spend with parents?
If those three areas are not fairly balanced, you may need to reconsider your approach.
And here is one more "gut check" question...
How do you feel when a student tells you how much another adult (besides their parents) impacted them or when they want one of your volunteers to baptize them instead of you?
I have been there. I know how that can sometimes feel like a punch in the gut. It was just a little under two years ago when God really convicted me of my "savior complex." And I can tell you that the more I learn to let go and let other adults get the credit and spotlight, the more I am able to accomplish for the Kingdom. Here is an example in closing...
Yesterday, one of our teenage boys who is a senior in high school came forward to be baptized. He wanted his dad to baptize him. Ok, fair enough. But then he asked Ed, one of his small group leaders, to take his confession in front of the church. The old me would have almost been more upset about who was taking his confession than celebrating the fact that he was making one. And add to that the fact that this young man called his small group leader two days earlier to tell him about his decision, but he never called me.
I am so glad God has softened my heart in this area. Does he need to do the same for you or your youth minister? There are so many other topics I wanted to address in this general topic that I have not even gotten to and will have to tackle another time. Until then, keep on working to help families with youth transform into the image of Jesus.
shine!
Steck
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