It all starts at home

TODAY'S READING: Exodus 20:12
What does it mean to honor your parents? In my search in the dictionary, I found two definitions that seem to fit. One says, "To hold in respect; esteem." Another definition says, "To show respect for."
Let me begin by saying there is a difference between respect and mindless obedience. Mindless obedience means that you obey someone and do exactly what they ask every time without any thought or consideration. About now some students are probably thinking, "Hey! That sounds like my house." Well, hold on a minute.
Respect still requires obedience, but it is part of a much larger picture. I am only a parent of a five-year-old and I don't have any teenagers living in my house, but I have seen both respect and lack of respect from teenagers before.
Honoring your parents to me means several things. First of all, I believe it means you give parents the benefit of the doubt. No matter how crazy or foolish their request may sound, you owe it to them to hear our their explanation. And even if you don't agree in the end, there will be times you will still be asked to honor their request.
Second of all, honoring your parents demands that you treat your parents with love and patience, even when you disagree. Disagreement is not grounds for rudeness or disrespect. I have never met a teenager that agrees with everything their parents say or ask of them, but I have seen a number who understand what it means to honor their parents regardless of whether or not they agree.
Honoring your parents also calls for honesty and integrity in dealing with your parents. Disagreement is never grounds to lie to or mislead your mother or father. Disagreement in a relationship with your parents is normal and healthy, but lying is not.
When I have seen families where parents are given the benefit of the doubt, love and patience is the norm, and honesty is central, I have seen students granted much more freedom by their parents. When parents know they can trust you, you will usually have more room. And this is exactly the way God intended it to work.
And what is equally amazing is that this type of relationship with your parents prepares you for the real world. I have not seen a study on this, but I would be willing to say that on average, people who come from homes where they honored their parents are normally going to be more successful and happy in life. When we can learn at an early age to respect those in authority, our life path will be much better. Being able to have healthy discussions and even disagreements at home will prepare us for those encounters when we become adults.
Now, before all of the students think I am ganging up on them, this is a two way street. And if we are honest, all adults would admit we make mistakes at times in parenting. After only five years of being a parent I can look back at plenty of mistakes I have made. But when parents and children can work together in a forgiving, loving, and respectful relationship, you can create a situation that will make your home more peaceful and your life better.

shine!
Jason