The perfect wife

I remember when I met my wife, Michelle. I remember as we began to date. I remember the day we were married. I know that on that day I was not remotely the husband I am today. It was the first day of a lifetime of becoming a better husband and man.
What if my wife wanted me to be the perfect husband the day we were married? She would have been highly disappointed from the first day. And what if I had wanted her to be the perfect wife from the day we were married. I would have found disappointment as well. Our marriage would have been destined for disaster and failure.
Is it no wonder that so many Christians are disillusioned and frustrated when we try to approach our walk with Jesus with this misguided attitude. I have been around people who tell you that you have to have all of your "ducks in a row" when you become a Christian. You have to have all the doctrines right. You have to answer the questions the right way. You have to immediately become the "model Christian."
Where did we go wrong? When did Christ ever expect us to instantly change our entire life when we decide to follow Him? Now, before you go balistic and launch into some attack, hold on a second.
Do we become a new creation when we decide to follow Christ? Yes.
Do we repent and change directions? Yes.
Does the "old man" die? Yes.
When we make a commitment to Jesus as Lord of our life we certainly make new allegences and leave our old "gods" behind. However, the living out of this change is never immediate. But this often what we teach. We may not use those words, but our behaviors often communicate this.
What kind of pressure does that put on the new Christian? More than they should have. What if you were baptized last week and you are still struggling to stay pure with your girlfriend? What if you just became a Christian but you struggle with your drinking problem? What if just weeks after your conversion you still spread rumors about other people?
When we expect "instant Christian" we set these people up for disaster. As they try to live up to the expectation placed before them they fear rejection by the church because they don't measure up. As they internalize their sin, afraid to share their struggle with others, they turn to the one thing that brings comfort...that sin. This self-destructive cycle continues until they lose all hope and walk away from Christianity or a number of other negative endings.
Have you seen this before? I have seen it many times. I have lived it in my life. Early in my Christian walk I struggled to overccome sin and temptations I lived with most of my life up to that point. As I did my best to measure up I was afraid to talk to anyone about my struggles. It tore me up inside as I had no one to turn to. I was afraid to disappoint my new found "family."
Something special happens when we become a Christian. When we are baptized into Christ we start a new life. We put on Christ. We are washed clean. Our sins are forgiven. But that is the beginning of the journey, not the end. It is the start of a lifelong adventure of following Jesus and becoming more and more like Him.
Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 3:7-18, "That old system of law etched in stone led to death, yet it began with such glory that the people of Israel could not bear to look at Moses' face. For his face shone with the glory of God, even though the brightness was already fading away. Shouldn't we expect far greater glory when the Holy Spirit is giving life? If the old covenant, which brings condemnation, was glorious, how much more glorious is the new covenant, which makes us right with God! In fact, that first glory was not glorious at all compared with the overwhelming glory of the new covenant. So if the old covenant, which has been set aside, was full of glory, then the new covenant, which remains forever, has far greater glory.
Since this new covenant gives us such confidence, we can be very bold. We are not like Moses, who put a veil over his face so the people of Israel would not see the glory fading away. But the people's minds were hardened, and even to this day whenever the old covenant is being read, a veil covers their minds so they cannot understand the truth. And this veil can be removed only by believing in Christ. Yes, even today when they read Moses' writings, their hearts are covered with that veil, and they do not understand.
But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, then the veil is taken away. Now, the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, he gives freedom. And all of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more."
We must be people who allow the Spirit of the Lord to work in our lives and the lives around us. We must avoid the veil of legalism. We must avoid the veil that sets unrealistic expectations. The Old Covenant was built around "measuring up," but in Christ we find freedom. Freedom from guilt. Freedom from judgment. Freedom from having to be good enough. The freedom we find from the Spirit is the freedom to become more and more like Jesus.
We must be open enough to accept people's imperfections and help them grow to be more and more like Jesus. We need to take off the veil of the "model Christian" and admit we are all on this journey as imperfect followers of the Perfect One. When we show our imperfections, admit our shortcomings, and take away the barriers we have put up, then we can truly be mirrors that reflect the love, forgiveness, and gentleness of the Lord.
Only when we are real can the changes in our life and others lives be real.