Runaway fridge

So today, Wayne (my intern) and I are working around the church building and we get a phone call from the church office. A student from Rochester College called and they need help because they can't get their dorm fridge in their car. Our understanding of that message is that she needs help getting the refrigerator in her car.

Being the servants we are (or maybe because we would have felt guilty not to help) we decide to walk the 1/4 mile or so to the storage place. When we arrive we find the real story. The fridge won't fit in her car and she needs to get it over to Rochester College, which is over 1/2mile away. So Wayne and I offer to walk the fridge over to the college on the 4-wheel cart.

(NOTE: At this point, if this story is about your fridge, please stop reading. Thanks, Susan.)

(ANOTHER NOTE: Please do not attempt what you are about to read at home. As a matter of fact, I would probably yell at the teens in my group if they did this when I was around.)

Anyway, being two youth minister types, and because it was over 90 degrees, we were not in our right minds. Most of the trip is downhill. (This is an important piece of information.) So Wayne decides to get on the back of the cart. He reaches over the fridge and grabs on to the bar at the front of the cart.

I thought it would be funny to let go of the cart and see what happens. Well, one does not need a degree in physics to figure that out. The cart begins accelerating down the hill. At first Wayne and I both are laughing and think this is funny. However, as the speed of the cart continued to increase, both of us became concerned. I think Wayne was more worried than me since he was the one on the cart.

Anyway, as the cart started to pull away from me, I decided to run with all I had. It took me a few seconds, but I got ahead of the cart, slowed it down, and saved Wayne from certain peril.

Like I said earlier, please don't try this at home. As a matter of fact, don't try this anywhere. (If you are a boy between 12 and 20, I am sure you will ignore my several warnings.)

Although this was probably a pretty fun sight to see, it's not so funny when the runaway cart is our life and the pull of gravity becomes the pull of sin.

I have watched many teens (and adults for that matter) jump on the runaway cart of sin thinking it will be a fun ride. Unfortunately for some of them, they don't realize the danger until it's too late. When they are laying on the side of the road in pain, they realize the ride wasn't worth it.

One big difference between crashing a cart and crashing from sin is that the wounds from a cart crash will usually heal. Injuries from sin will seldom heal completely. Scars that can't be seen will continue to hurt. Pains below the surface will continue to haunt. And sometimes we can even become callous to the pain and we continue to hurt ourselves.

It could start out as an innocent party that leads to drunk driving and an accident with life-changing consequences.

It might be shoplifting one small item that turns into a habit of shoplifting and eventual jail time.

It could be smoking one joint that leads to a drug addiction that destroys your family.

It might start out with an innocent make-out session that ends up with giving away a part of yourself that you'll never get back.

The options are endless. Exciting cart rides that Satan parades before us, hoping we will jump on. He hopes we see the fun ride, but not the crash.

Even though the scars may last for the rest of your life, Jesus is there to bring healing. The best option is to avoid these mistakes that often cause a life-time of regrets. But if you have already experienced one or more crashes in your life, Jesus is there to help. And if you are in the middle of an out-of-control ride, know that Jesus is there waiting to help you.

Life with Jesus is better than any ride Satan has to offer. It will still have risks, but the journey will be fulfilling and the end of the ride will be amazing.

shine!
Jason

Reckless passion

Today has been a great day!

Just a few hours ago I had the honor of baptizing Liz Trainor. I love this girl like a daughter. For the last two years I have watched her grow, struggle, ask questions, and deal with a number of difficult situations.

This is one of those days someone in ministry never forgets. A day when someone whose journey you have been blessed to be a part of makes a big step. It was exciting to see the look on Liz's face as she realized what she was experiencing. She knows she will never be the same again.

Sometimes I wish more people in the church had real conversions. For some it seems like being baptized is the thing to do. Just another thing you do because you grew up in church.

For Liz this is a real conversion. She has found a God that loves her regardless of where she has been. A God who wants to love her no matter what. A Father who wants her to realize that she is God's masterpiece.

She was not baptized because it is what everyone else is doing. She was not baptized to make anyone else happy. She was baptized because she is falling in love with God and God's love is at work in her life.

I am not saying that everyone who grows up in church doesn't have a real conversion. I know plenty of Christ-followers who have gone to church their whole life. However, we can learn something from a person whose life before Jesus was not Bible classes and VBS. We can learn a lot from someone who has seen the underbelly of life and found the light of God on the other side.

I am challenged by Liz. Every time I turn around she is bringing someone else to church. She is telling people about God. There are times her friends fill an entire pew.

Imagine the difference it would make in our churches if we all could be this serious about telling people about God. But many of us are too afraid of what people will think.

Maybe we have had life too easy as Christians. Maybe church is more about what we do than who we are. Maybe we need a little persecution.

Thanks, Liz. Thanks for showing me what it looks like to be passionate about Jesus without having to have it all figured out.

shine!
Jason

Hunger

Hunger.

Desire.

Starvation.

What do we hunger for?

What do we desire?

What are we starving for?

Yesterday I fasted. From bedtime on Tuesday until breakfast today I only drank water. I will admit it was hard at times. But it also forced me to think.

I thought about food, obviously.

I thought about God, a lot.

I prayed everytime I thought about eating. So basically I prayed most of the day.

Fasting is a purifying activity. Sure, it helps you purify your body physically. But it is much more than that.

Yesterday was the first time in a while that I really thought about what it means to be hungry for God. I feel like I have been on spiritual cruise control for while. I have been snacking on a lot of other things to fill the hunger intended for God.

Last night as I reflected on my day of fasting I was convicted to change my "eating" habits. This is not a change in grocery shopping. It's a change in life choices.

I need to hunger more for the word of God.

I need to hunger more for prayer.

I need to hunger more for quiet times of meditation.

I need to hunger more for justice.

I need to hunger more for making the right choices.

As Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."

I feel like I often hunger and thirst for other things that aren't so filling.

The food I ate this morning made me feel full, but in a few hours I will be hungry again. Aren't the things in this world the same way? They make us feel satisfied in the short-term, but in the long run they often create even more hunger.

Studies say that artificial sweeteners are worse than sugar because they make you think you are getting calories when you aren't. And a short while after you eat or drink them you are more hungry and thirsty than before you ate.

Isn't sin basically artificial God? It is a short-term solution to a life-long hunger. It often looks good and tastes good, but it leaves us hungering for more. And like some artificial sweeteners, it often leaves a horrible aftertaste.

Frankly, I am tired of the bad aftertaste, the empty feelings, and the lack of satisfaction. I am tired of the artificial God that Satan entices us to eat. I am tired of wondering why I am so hungry after I have filled myself with so much. It's time to change my diet.

I want to encourage you to change the parts of your diet that you need to as well. My son Matthew likes to look at the nutritional facts on food packaging. He will tell me about the amount of carbohydrates and fat. He looks at the percentages of vitamins.

Maybe we should take a lesson from him and more carefully examine the spiritual nutritional facts of what we consume.

How many sinful suggestions are in that music we are listening to?

How much selfishness is found in our desire for a certain look or label when it comes to clothing?

How much hurt is found in the words we use and the way we treat people?

How much attitude of Christ is found in the choices we make.

How much fruit of the Holy Spirit is found in our attitude?

I would venture to guess that many of us go through life and seldom consider these things. We just consume, consume, consume, and then wonder why we are out of shape spiritually. We enjoy the buffet of life without thinking about the impact our choices will have on our heart and mind.

I want to invite you to join me in a day of fasting and prayer on the last Wednesday of every month. If you are under 18, be sure to talk to your parents before doing this. And you should even invite them to join you. Imagine the impact of your whole family fasting together once a month.

Spend one day hungering for food and it could alter the way you think about hungering for God.

shine!
Jason

Rio - Final Update

Well, it's our final day here. The plane leaves in less than 9 hours. It has been a great 10 days here in Rio. Here is a little longer recap of the last several days...

Friday - On Friday half of our team finished work projects and the others went to an orphanage. After finishing the projects, our whole team was together at the orphanage. We painted a number of rooms and spent time playing with the kids at the home. It was awesome watching the team members interact with the children. Those little ones surely touched the hearts of all of us. When dinnertime came, we were joined by teenagers from another home. The pizza party was a chance to interact more with the youth. It was a truly incredible day to meet Jesus among the poorest of Rio's citizens.

Saturday - The English day was incredible as well. There were over 100 Brazilians who came for this special Saturday event. According to Dan and Kirsty, the vast majority were visitors and over half had never visited the church before. Those who came were able to practice their English, play some fun games, and enjoy a hamburger. It was a great chance to help the church make some new relationships.

Sunday - I always enjoy worshiping with the Brazilians. Their worship is passionate and uplifting. Words can not describe how amazing it is to worship in another language. It helps cement the fact that we serve a God bigger than any one nation, language, or people. There is nothing like it!

Monday and today have given us a chance to visit with a few of the Brazilians and visit Dan and Kirsty's home. Some of us even had a chance today to meet an eight-year-old Brazilian boy who lives in Dan's neighborhood.

I was so impressed with our team again this year. God always seems to bring together the right mixture of people for the task at hand. They all worked hard without complaint. They accomplished so much for God here in Rio. God's light was shining through all of them!

I have been touched once again by Rio and it's people. It is a place that has much less than us in material possessions, but they are rich in many of the things that God values. Joy. Passion. Friendliness. Valuing children. These are the things that Brazilians possess. While I am looking forward to home, I will miss Brazil a lot. There is a part of my heart that will always be Brazilian.

shine!
Jason (Michelle & Matthew)

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This trip has been amazing.  Its hard to believe that we accomplished so much in such a little time.  Every day has been full of hard work and a lot of fun.  The work with the children's home was my favorite part of the trip.  The kids were so eager to love us and hug us.  They were so sweet, and it was very hard to leave them there.  I will be staying in Rio for another week, and I am very sad that the rest of the team can not stay with me because I have grown so close with them. I hope that anyone reading this gets an opportunity to participate in a campaign like this one. It is a life changing experience.

Becky

 

Rio Update - Sunday

Wow! That is really all I can say right now. Sunday morning worship just finished and we are about to leave. Here is the last three days in a nutshell:

Friday - Work projects and time at the orphanage

Saturday - Special English Day and spending the night in a Brazilian home

Sunday - An awesome, Spirit-filled worship service

BRASIL...PRICELESS

I will try to post one more update before we leave, but I don't know if I will have access to the internet. If not, I will send a final update when we get back.

brilho!
Jason

Rio Update - Thursday

Boa noite! I hope all is going well back in the States. We are having a great time in Rio. We did get to enjoy fireworks on July 4, but not in the way you would expect. Part of our day on Wednesday was going to a soccer game. This was a soccer game in a part of Rio where tourists normally don't go. We were able to see real Brazilian soccer and even made friends with some of the locals. Matthew got to help play the drum and wave the big flag. VASCÃO! (The name of the team we cheered for, since they were the home team and Dan and Kirsty's team.)

On a different note, today has been filled with hard work. Many of the rooms have been painted, storage areas have been reorganized, the puppet stage is much further along, and more. It has been great to serve the church here in Rio. They are doing a great work!

The next couple of days will be filled with opportunities to serve the people here. Tomorrow we visit an orphanage and Saturday is the big English Day. Please pray for these two activities.

A huge thank you to everyone who has been praying for us and all of you who have supported our trip financially. Your prayers and help are helping us be a big source of encouragement for the church here. Kirsty shared last night how much it means to the missionaries and the members here to have visitors travel thousands of miles to work alongside them. You are a part of that effort!

Well, time for our bi-lingual service. This was one of the highlights of last year's trip. Tchau!

brilho!
Jason

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Hi everyone!
Today has been a work day at the church building.  Depending on what floor you are on, you hear the sound of saws, hammers, laughter and the splatter of paint rolling on to the walls.

Wish you could be here to share in this wonderful time of serving and fellowship.

Blessings,
KO

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Hello Everyone,

Being in Brazil has been a wonderful experience.  The people here are incredible and have huge hearts.  I hope to come back one day.

Best wishes to all of you! - Lisa

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Hi all,

We have really enjoyed meeting the people here and they have been great to welcome us.  Our work days are long and very rewarding and we have enjoyed seeing the sites in Rio.  This is an experience of a lifetime and we are grateful for the opportunity God has given us to be here.

Blessings,

The Osborns

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Greetings!

Today has been another good day for our team in Rio!  We worked hard today and tonight, after worship, we will play hard.  Our team plus a few missionaries have challenged the Victory church to a game of soccer.  If we lose, no, when we lose we will then challenge them to a game of basketball. Wish us luck! 

Thanks to all of you who are praying for us and to all of you who have financially supported this trip.  It truly is a blessing to walk with, work with, and worship with our brothers and sisters in Rio!  It is also a true blessing to see Dan and Kirsty at work!  God is most definitely using them in powerful ways!

Love and God Bless,
Danny Cagnet

Tuesday Update

Boa noite! Evening is here in Brazil. Since it is the middle of winter here the days are short (but still warm). We are about to leave for dinner so I figured I better get this posted. It has been a great day and we are working on numerous projects.

As I write this, Sarah is upstairs teaching a Tae Kwon Do class with several helpers. Others are downstairs working on a puppet stage for the Children's Ministry. Josue, who heads up the Children's Ministry, is completely excited!

Yesterday we began our work projects and had a little time to experience the real Rio. We avoided tourist areas on purpose to see what the city is really like. One of the things that impacted me most was being in the middle of downtown and seeing skyscrapers with window air conditioning units. We are so spoiled in the US. The financial district of New York City would never settle for this. But these are the conditions these folks live with every day.

The team has been doing an awesome job so far. They have been working hard and making a lot of relationships. I can see the Spirit at work among us. As a matter of fact, many of the team members did not have time to write anything for today.

Tomorrow is our day to see a few of the well-known sites of Rio, then Thursday we are back to work. Watch for more updates on Thursday. Since there is no internet at the hotel, we can only update when we are here at the church building.

By the way, if you were a part of last year's team and you are reading this, you wouldn't believe the changes. They have made further improvements to the grounds and the building. God is at work among the people here in Rio and we are blessed to be a part of it!

brilho!
Jason

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Hey everybody!  This is the Osborn family reporting from Brazil!  Everything is going great here with the church… our expectations have been blown away!  We´re working with the church members to help renovate offices and build a library as well as other stuff.  We miss all of you back home!

OSBORN FAMILY

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Bom Dia!

Brazil is even more amazing than I remember it, and the church here is beautiful as well as all of the members. They are so kind and generous! Wish you all could be here!

 

Becky

We are here!

We have arrived safely! Our trip was long, but uneventful. We have settled into our hotel and will join the church in a few hours for evening worship. We also have the opportunity this afternoon to join Dan & Kirsty and their new English class. They just started last week and had 35 people show up, most of whom are not currently members of the Victory Church. Please be in prayer for this exciting new ministry. I would also ask that you keep us in your prayers over the next 10 days. We are looking forward to joining God in His work among the people of Rio.

shine!
Jason

Rio 2007!

From July 1, through July 10, this will be the place to hear about our mission trip to Rio. Come back soon and find out how God is at work!

Orphans among us

It seems like we are surrounded by orphans these days.

No, there are not children wandering the streets in search of a place to live. These children know their parents. Most of them live with at least one of their parents. But they are orphans nonetheless.

The type of orphans I am talking about often say goodbye to their parents early in the morning as they head off to school and they will likely not have another meaningful conversation with mom or dad until well after dinner. After school they run off to practice, a game, or some other performance. They will get home in time to grab a snack, go to their room, turn on their music or TV, and work on a little homework. They might even jump on-line to chat with friends.

I thought about this earlier today as I drove by a soccer game in Rochester. On the field are children who spend hours and hours a week with adults other than their parents. This is in addition to the seven or eight hours a day they spend at school. Then these children play a game where they might see their parents on the sideline. (At least I hope they do.)

But have we created a situation where our desire to give our children every opportunity has robbed them of the most important opportunity - meaningful relationship with their parents?

While sports, hobbies, and other extracurricular activities are not inherently bad, when we allow them to supplant the role of parents, they can become dangerous. The absence of time to build meaningful relationships at home can reduce a parent's ability to have an impact on their children.

When parents only have a few hours a week, they may often avoid conflict - conflict which is healthy for maturing a child. Others homes may be so stressed because of the hectic schedule that arguments and conflict are the norm. The lack of consistency relationally will often impact the family.

Parents must have the courage and wisdom to make the right decisions for their family. There is no one right answer for all families, but there are definitely boundaries we must maintain. We must be careful to avoid investing inordinate amounts of time in activities and events that are not as important. Over 99% of teenagers will never play a professional sport, but the vast majority of them will be a parent someday. Why are we willing to spend so much of our time and resources on athletics and other hobbies while neglecting time together as a family?

shine!
Jason

Get on the floor

Last night our youth group celebrated a Passover Seder together.

Although not all the students seemed to take it seriously, I believe that for some of the teenagers this was a powerful evening that opened their eyes to more of what lies behind the Lord's Supper. We ate food. We talked about the history of the Passover. Students took a journey back to an upper room about two thousand years ago.

These are the kind of activities that I believe are an essential part of spiritual formation. Sure, there are times for silly games and trips to fun places, but students must engage in moments that brings the life of Jesus to life for them. How much more meaningful is the Lord's Supper when we know the story behind the event? The impact of a Seder can change the meaning of communion from something we just do every Sunday because it is our tradition to an event that the community of Christ followers engage in to celebrate the promises of God.

Why do we in youth ministry often spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on an event that mostly involves having fun instead of investing a significant portion of that money (and time and energy) into more spiritually transforming activities? I am not against those fun activities. We need those times when students can be relaxed and build relationships with each other and adults. But those events cannot be the foundation of our ministry. Otherwise we are often shaping students into expecting church to be fun and games.

That kind of world-view of church will not keep students engaged for a lifetime of walking with Jesus. Being a follower of Jesus can be challenging and demands sacrifice. Ski trips and other entertainment will not naturally develop an attitude that is ready for the struggles of true discipleship. These things should be the gravy on the meat and potatoes of transformational ministry.

I believe one of the main reasons we lose so many of our students after high school is because we are not equipping them for the reality of life. When they graduate from high school and church is no longer about trips and games, many of these former youth group members decide church is not their thing.

We in youth ministry must provide a realistic approach to discipleship. I would rather students occasionally complain that something is boring in the process of spiritual formation than constantly entertain teenagers just so they keep coming to youth group. The true measurement of my success is not based on how many students come to an event. (Although I would be lying if I didn't confess that low turnouts disappoint me.)  But true success for me is the student who comes back five years later and is involved in ministry (not just attending church) and is continuing in their journey to be a committed follower of Jesus Christ.

Maybe that is why it is easier to plan the fun events that everyone wants to come to. People want immediate satisfaction. They want to see success right away. Youth ministers are just like everyone else. We want to see the fruit of our efforts. We want the approval that comes from an event that everyone liked and raves about. Unfortunately, spiritual formation doesn't always occur in this way. It can be hard work that doesn't see fruit for a long time. So we must keep our eyes set on the future and on the ultimate goal. We must always remember that youth ministry is about helping students find their place in the Kingdom of God today and preparing them to continue to grow into the person that God has created them to be.

Illuminate 2007

This past weekend the Rochester Church hosted the first Illuminate. Illuminate is a youth conference designed for today's youth. We offered sessions that included a drama workshop, a song writing workshop, beat poetry, a prayer labyrinth, and classes with Patrick Mead and Sean Algaier. Pat Pugh, a minister from inner-city Cincinnati, brought some powerful messages. Friday night included performances and worship by Minor Measure (a band consisting of Rochester youth group members) and Ekklesia (a praise band from Rochester College). Ambassadors communicated effectively through drama and Jason Tomlinson shared God's message in a unique way through Spoken Word Praise. Almost 200 students and dozens of adults came together for an uplifting weekend of spiritual growth. And we had the joy of witnessing the baptism of a young lady on Saturday night. (For more about Illuminate and to see videos from the weekend, visit www.shoutlife.com/illuminate.)

I am grateful to the dozens of people who sacrificed hours and hours of their time to make this event a success. Hearts were touched and lives were changed because of the efforts of these tremendous servants. Many of them make my ministry a joy not just for one weekend, but all year long. The hearts of the people at the Rochester church are huge and their desire to serve is incredible. God has blessed me with a great body of followers of Jesus to serve beside.

As I reflect on the weekend, one thing continues to come to mind. It is amazing what God can do when we get out of the way and let Him work. People were free to express themselves in worship. Teenagers were able to explore different ways to live out their faith. God's word was preached without restraint. The Holy Spirit was unleashed and people were impacted.

Today's generation of young people often does not understand the constraints that previous generations have placed on God. This is not to condemn or criticize previous generations. Each generation experiences God in a unique way. But when the church tries to force every generation to experience God in the same way - their way - there will be struggle. This has been the story of the church for centuries. Whether it is Martin Luther questioning indulgences or Martin Luther King, Jr. attacking the racism of the church in the 20th century, there have been innovators in every generation that cause us to reconsider where we are and where God wants us to go.

Today's youth have an important voice that must be heard in the church. They will cause us to examine life-long beliefs and consider new ways of expressing our faith. They will challenge our presuppositions and question our reasoning. And in the process - as iron sharpens iron - we can all grow in our relationship with God.

The new ways of the younger generation do not have all the right answers. But neither do we. Every generation must be willing to work alongside those with different views and different ways of doing things. Only then can we become the body of Christ working together in unity. Unity is not the presence of conformity, it is the absence of division. Jesus did not want cookie-cutter churches and Christians. He wanted a chosen people, a holy nation, His very own possession. We are called to be Christ-shaped followers of Jesus who don't find our identity in our style of worship or list of doctrines. Rather, we are called to seek our identity in the One who gave us life, Jesus Christ.

shine!
Jason

The neuterization of our youth

At the outset, this might see to directly contradict what I just wrote in the last two entries, but stick with me...

I think we have neutered our youth. Many of them have become uninterested in church because it isn't really relevant to their lives. And they might be right. We want them to do church our way, live out their faith our way, and understand God and the Bible our way. But what if our way is wrong? Or maybe the better thought is that maybe our way is wrong for their time.

But you might argue that we do Christianity the right way. Really? Many in my particular tribe believe that we are the "First Century Church" or the "New Testament Church" or a variety of other phrases that basically state that we do church the way it was originally intended. Really? Do you really think they sang all those songs written in the 1700's and 1800's? (Oops, that was a few years earlier.) Do we forget the fact that the first church building was probably built in the 3rd century? What about those passages in Acts chapter two that talk about followers of Jesus meeting daily and sharing all they had? I think you get the point.

What if what we call Christianity isn't best for the next generation? Before you panic, I am not talking about the core beliefs of Christianity. God is still God. Jesus is still His Son. The Holy Spirit is alive and well. I think we need to stick with the seven "ones" in Ephesians 4.

I think the fact that we have missed the boat on this thought is what is driving many children from the faith. We want them to continue doing church our way. A way that may not connect with their generation or the culture they are in the midst of. So they leave because we have constructed a God that doesn't fit in their construct. Our "God" doesn't make sense based on what life looks like to them.

It is so cliche , I hate to say it. But the youth are not the church of tomorrow; they are the church of today. Look over the history of God's people and you will see those who accomplished great things at a young age. Josiah was a mere 26 when he called the entire nation of Israel to renew their covenant with God. Joan of Arc was never made it past her teen years and is still remembered to this day. Martin Luther King, Jr was in his mid-20's when he began developing as a leader in the civil rights movement. Cassie Bernall was seventeen when she was killed in the Columbine massacre for voicing her faith in God.

I will readily admit that I get uncomfortable at times when young people want to express their faith in new ways. Whether it's new music, a new way to share the Good News, or a new approach to ministry, every generation has a way of irritating the last generation.

We like church the way we have grown used to. We like the songs we sing. We feel like we have figured out what it means to be a Christian. And just as we get comfortable with what have, along comes the next generation to stir the pot for us. And how we react will make all the difference.

For those of us who are unwilling to engage in conversation with the next generation because "we have it right," their children will react in a number of ways. Some will accept a faith that never really becomes their own faith. Others will leave God. Some will find a church that is more relevant to their life.

Others just say to let them go and do their own thing. This can often lead to a church that follows the "Friends" model. (I am talking about the TV show, not the religious group.) In this scenario, there is little wisdom gained from previous generations and many of these Christians fail to respect or reflect on the tradition and history of the church. This type of movement seems to be more popular in recent years as churches are buying into the "marketing" concept of church.

I think a healthy balance is what we really need. Young people need room to explore their faith knowing that they are supported by a loving family that covers multiple generations. This is hard! Hard for everyone.

For teenagers it can be hard because they don't want to listen to the "old people."

For adults it can be a challenge because they want teenagers to be safe and not repeat the mistakes of the past.

For youth ministers it can be a challenge because we want to make teenagers and parents happy. And the truth is that when we are being most effective, we will frustrate people on both sides. Teenagers will be angry with us because we challenge their sinful behavior and seem to take the side of their parents in some situations. Parents will be upset with us because we seem to undermine their authority as we help students to sort out their own faith.

If we want to help families with youth engage the faith journey both individually and collectively, it will require patience, love, prayer, and a lot of work. It is not for the faint at heart. And we have to acknowledge that we might make more mistakes than we want to along the way. This is a difficult calling we have answered.

One of our chief goals should be to help teenagers see the wisdom of adults, as misguided - although often sincere - as it may be, while helping parents see the passion of teenagers, as misguided - although often sincere - as it may be. There will be plenty of sin and struggles to deal with for everyone involved. We must continually encourage each other to look more and more like Jesus. But we must be careful that we discern the difference between sinful behavior and behavior that just looks different than what we are comfortable with.

This is not easy. It is easy to jump to conclusions and make rash judgments. It requires much more effort to look at each situation and willingly engage in conversation. But when we are willing to make the extra effort, we can free our teenagers to develop their own faith, a faith that will last. And when they do that, there is no limit to how God can use them to expand the borders of His Kingdom.

shine!
Jason

The ghettoization of our youth, Part 2

I'm assuming most of you have seen at least one episode of the TV show Friends. These six young adults all sharing life in a variety of ways. In some ways that show reminds me of a phenomena that is happening in the youth culture today. Just like the lives of those six friends, our youth often exclusively turn to one another for advice and guidance as they face difficult decisions and struggles in life.

Don't get me wrong; I believe that our youth need to share with each other, encourage each other, and hold each other accountable. But should this take place in a realm void of more mature and experienced voices?

I will admit that this is a difficult balancing act that I still don't feel like I often handle the right way. I struggle to give students enough freedom to process information and make decisions while still trying to offer a different perspective. Sometimes I say too little. Other times, too much. But I would rather fail trying than not try at all. That would be real failure.

Adolescence is a challenging time for everyone involved. Students want freedom and security. Parents want control and distance. Other adults want growth and obedience. We all dance the dance of "growing up." We want our teenagers to develop and grow into mature, responsible adults. We also want them to listen to us and do what we ask. Like a cold front and a warm front coming together on a Spring afternoon, this often results in a storm. And unfortunately, we adults often react with one of two extremes. We either shut off conversation or we fight back.

I'm not sure why this happens. Let me offer some suggestions. We adults are too busy and don't have time for this. We are already incredibly stressed and this brings us to a boiling point. We have our own issues of insecurity. We don't feel like dealing with it. And sometimes, I think we realize that our kids are right and we don't want to admit we are wrong.

No, this is not an exhaustive list, but it is something to think about.

So many people want to blame MTV and other aspects of the culture for what is happening to our children. The last time I checked the TV in my house has an on/off switch and the ability to change channels. Do we have a right to be concerned about the garbage that our teenagers are surrounded by in culture? Absolutely. But if all we do is complain without involving ourselves in the situation, we have no right to object.

I'm not talking about protesting MTV or railing about the decline in moral values. Sure, we can talk about those things. But if we are not engaging our young people directly and getting involved intimately in their lives it's not just irresponsible; it is sinful.

God calls us to be involved in the lives of our young people. Not in a overbearing way. Not like a dictator giving orders. By the time our kids are teenagers it's too late for that. We tell our six-year-olds what to do, not our sixteen-year-olds. Sure, parents still have parental authority and children still need to obey their parents. But the teenage years are a time of letting go and getting ready to leave. And this requires a fundamental shift in how we engage adolescents. We are no longer giving orders. We transition to a role that looks more like a coach or mentor. We give direction and send them out to "play the game."

Ok, so what does all of this have to do with ministering to families with youth? Everything.

(Let me interject this all-important statement. We youth ministers must realize we don't know everything. We must show humility as we interact with parents. Most of us are not yet parents of a teenager. Parents have a lot of wisdom that we will not gain for years. But, we have something to offer to the conversation. We have a perspective as someone not in the midst of their battle. But let's be sure we don't come across as know-it-alls, because we aren't.)

Having said that, we need to help parents as much as we help our students. Sure, the way we engage parents will be different, but we must do it. We should look at ourselves as a translator who can help bridge a gap between parents and teenagers. Will we mess it up sometimes? Sure. But God's grace will carry us through.

Our role with parents and their teenagers is both the same and different. In both situations we are more moderator and facilitator than we are imparter of knowledge. We don't have all the answers, but we have something to offer to the discussion. We are a third party that can see both sides.

(Sidebar here: We as youth ministers have to be willing to be seen as "uncool" sometimes by our students. This can be hard, because we want to be liked by our "kids." But if we are truly going to be agents of transformation and reconciliation, there will be times our students simply won't like us. Now, I am not talking about the whole youth group hating us. But there will be times that we need to stand up for the parents, and teenagers won't appreciate that. But if we are honest and a person of integrity, students will learn to trust us and respect us. As a matter of fact, in my experience, most of the times I have challenged a student in a situation like this, they have ended up respecting me more in the long run. But to be honest, in the short-term I am sure I have sometimes been called words that I couldn't say in front of the church.)

Anyway, if we want to overcome the ghettoization of our youth we must encourage our parents to get involved in their children's lives and help them transition as their role changes in the teen years. This is both a programmatic and thematic endeavor. We must develop programs that encourage dialogue between students and their parents. We should offer opportunities for families to engage. We should find tools for parents to help them be the best parents they can be. At the same time, we need to be a champion for parents and teenagers. We need to remind students that their parents are not the stupidist (is that a word?) people in the world. We need to remind parents that these are still the children that love them (in spite of how they might act).

What happens in the teenage years is fundamental to the rest of a student's life and how we deal with those years will shape the kind of man or woman a teenager becomes. Our role is not to coddle students and reinforce their self-image of having all the answers. But neither is our role to constantly put them in their place and tell them everything wrong that they are doing. Our role is to join with parents and other adults in engaging them in an ongoing dialogue as they develop into adults. We must be their guides, their mentors, and their voices of reason in a world full of bad advice. When we can strive for that goal and help them make better decisions, we will equip them for the years ahead. And to me, that is real success in ministry. It's the kind of success that is not measured by how many kids show up on a Wednesday night. It is measured by how many students are faithful followers of the Christ five years down the road.

shine!
Steck

The ghettoization of our youth

Before you run to www.dictionary.com, yes "ghettoization" is a real world. The definition is the noun form of ghettoize, "to place or collect in a ghetto." In other words, a group of people that gathers in one area to live.

Anyway, my question is this... Are we in youth ministry guilty of ghettoizing our youth? I would venture to argue that this is not a malicious or intentional action. Rather, I believe it is an extension of what we believe or are led to believe is best for our students. Most youth ministry conferences I go to invest a good chunk of time discussing how to make teen-friendly ministry. We talk about teen culture and how to bring the gospel into it. How we can be relevant.

I believe these are important questions that must be answered. They are valid considerations. But I think we often take the shortcut of stopping there. We build ministries around a mini-church of youth. Whether it's a basement, a room upstairs, a separate building, or just one classroom, we create this "place" for our students to belong. Their safe haven from the "old people." The place where they can be kids. And in the process we often rob them of the vital cross-generational influence that God intends for them to have.

Some of the most mature Christian teenagers I have met never had a youth minister. They grew up in a small church where their parents and other adults were the youth ministers. They didn't have a "professional" creating flashy classes, coming up with trendy events, and spending time taking them to various youth events. They were shaped and molded by mature Christians who provided the wisdom and experience of years of following Jesus, making mistakes, and growing in faith.

I am not putting the full-time youth minister down at all. We play a valuable role in the faith development of teens. We just shouldn't take ourselves too seriously. Our goal is not to be THE adult for our students. We should simply be one person on a team of adults who seeks to transform students into the image of Jesus. If we full-time youth ministers would invest as much time in adults as we do in students, our efforts would be multiplied exponentially. If there is one thing we need to learn, it's this one truth..."It's not about us!"

I firmly believe that one of the factors that often leads to the ghettoization of Christian youth is the youth minister's feeling that he has to be the savior of the students. Again, I don't think that the vast majority of youth ministers do this intentionally; it is result of our calling. We care about students. We want them to know Jesus. We pray for them. We minister to them. The problem is that we need to learn to let go and find our true role.

When students go off to college, I would venture to guess that most of them don't call their youth minister a few times a week to update them on the happenings at college. These young adults call their parents. (Or at least most of them do.) Sure, they will talk to us when they visit home. They might chat with us online or send us a message over Facebook or MySpace. But for the vast majority of students, their main contact back home will be mom and dad.

We MUST tap into parents and other adults if we really want to make the biggest impact on our students. To some youth ministers this may sound strange, but the truth is that we need to spend less time with our students to have a greater impact. Why? Because we need to invest some of that time in other adults. I realize that what this looks like will vary for every church. I serve a church of over 1200 members with a youth group close to 100 in number. Just a few years ago I was serving a church of 150 people with a youth group just over a dozen. These two situations call for vastly different models. The principle is the same, but the praxis will be different.

I could go on and on about this, but let me finish with a few questions for you to ponder...

How much time do you spend with students?

How much time do you spend equipping other adults?

How much time do you spend with parents?

If those three areas are not fairly balanced, you may need to reconsider your approach.

And here is one more "gut check" question...

How do you feel when a student tells you how much another adult (besides their parents) impacted them or when they want one of your volunteers to baptize them instead of you?

I have been there. I know how that can sometimes feel like a punch in the gut. It was just a little under two years ago when God really convicted me of my "savior complex." And I can tell you that the more I learn to let go and let other adults get the credit and spotlight, the more I am able to accomplish for the Kingdom. Here is an example in closing...

Yesterday, one of our teenage boys who is a senior in high school came forward to be baptized. He wanted his dad to baptize him. Ok, fair enough. But then he asked Ed, one of his small group leaders, to take his confession in front of the church. The old me would have almost been more upset about who was taking his confession than celebrating the fact that he was making one. And add to that the fact that this young man called his small group leader two days earlier to tell him about his decision, but he never called me.

I am so glad God has softened my heart in this area. Does he need to do the same for you or your youth minister? There are so many other topics I wanted to address in this general topic that I have not even gotten to and will have to tackle another time. Until then, keep on working to help families with youth transform into the image of Jesus.

shine!
Steck

Mid-course correction

This blog will continue to be a place for me to simply discuss life and the experience of being a follower of Jesus. However, I have a new blog at www.jasonsteckel.net.
My new blog at www.jasonsteckel.net will be a place for my thoughts on ministry to families with teenagers. Here at the Rochester church I am a part of an exciting and innovative approach to ministry. While I am sure we are not the first to consider a different way of doing ministry, I feel like there is something special happening here at Rochester. It is much bigger than any one person. It is a movement. A gathering of people seeking to transform lives in ways that are sometimes outside the box.
Thanks for stopping by.

shine!
Jason

Mid-course correction

My blog is changing its content. Up to this point, my blog has been a place for me to simply discuss life and the experience of being a follower of Jesus. Those posts will continue to appear on my other blog at www.jasonsteckel.blogspot.com.
This blog will now be a place for my thoughts on ministry to families with teenagers. Here at the Rochester church I am a part of an exciting and innovative approach to ministry. While I am sure we are not the first to consider a different way of doing ministry, I feel like there is something special happening here at Rochester. It is much bigger than any one person. It is a movement. A gathering of people seeking to transform lives in ways that are sometimes outside the box. Thanks for stopping by.

shine!
Jason

The best thing in the world

In the UK recently, 1500 children under 10 were asked "What's the very best thing in the world?" Here are the top ten answers, starting with the most common answer:

1. Being a celebrity
2. Good looks
3. Being rich
4. Being healthy
5. Pop music
6. Families
7. Friends
8. Nice food
9. Watching films
10. Heaven/God

As I look at those results, I wonder about several things.
First, I wonder what our future holds in store for us. Although these are children from the UK, I can't imagine American children's answers would be much different. When being famous, looking good, and having money are the best things in the world, what does that do to our culture? Should celebrities have special treatment simply for being famous? What other values will be compromised to achieve fame? Are those who are less attractive, less wealthy, and unknown to be pushed aside for our personal gain?
I also wonder where the church is in the midst of this craziness. Have we become so self-absorbed in building our church buildings (which are often monuments to us as much or more than they are to God), creating flashy programs (which seem an awful lot like pop culture activities), and showing how "good" we are (by hiding our sins or being so "tolerant" that we ignore God's word), that we have missed out on being salt and light?
One last thing I wonder is if we realize the battle we are in. Now, I am not naive or myopic enough to say that this is the only "culture war" in the history of the church. Frankly, I am getting weary of the "End Times" folks who think this is all a sign that the end is near. Have you ever studied the history of the Roman Empire? I am not a expert in history, but I know enough to know that the church was in a culture war while Peter, Paul, and the other apostles still walked the earth.
While the end of time as we know it may be around the corner, that isn't the point. The point is that God has called us to be faithful regardless of the calendar. We are in a battle. It is a fight; and it's not just a fight to get people into heaven. It is a battle to take back the ground that was lost in the Garden of Eden.
Sin has brought self-centered and prideful darkness to this creation that was pure. And contrary to many Evangelicals, we are not called to board a ship to be taken away from this evil world. We are called to disembark in this world for a battle to bring God's grace and mercy. The call of Christ is a rescue mission, but our self-centered, individualistic society has trained us that the rescue is for the sole purpose of getting us out of this sin-filled, evil world. The real rescue mission is one that followers of the Christ are called to join in. We must go into the world and rescue those who are suffering.
We must rescue those who seek relief by intoxicating their bodies to dull the pain and hurt.
We must rescue those who seek relief by surrendering their bodies sexually to receive love and acceptance.
We must rescue those who seek relief in a few minutes of fame to mask their insecurities.
We must rescue those who seek relief in social status to hide their fears of inadequacy.
We must rescue those who seek relief in getting attention because they feel unloved
We must rescue those who seek relief in material wealth because they are poor in spirit.
We are surrounded by people in need of rescue. And if the truth be told, we are all still in a state of needing rescued. Not the kind of rescue that comes from shallow religion, strict doctrine, and pew-sitting Christianity. This is only the kind of rescue that comes from engaging in the work of the Kingdom of God and living out the mission of Jesus in each one of our lives. Now that's the best thing in the world to me.

shine!
Jason

The best thing in the world

In the UK recently, 1500 children under 10 were asked "What's the very best thing in the world?" Here are the top ten answers, starting with the most common answer:

1. Being a celebrity
2. Good looks
3. Being rich
4. Being healthy
5. Pop music
6. Families
7. Friends
8. Nice food
9. Watching films
10. Heaven/God

As I look at those results, I wonder about several things.
First, I wonder what our future holds in store for us. Although these are children from the UK, I can't imagine American children's answers would be much different. When being famous, looking good, and having money are the best things in the world, what does that do to our culture? Should celebrities have special treatment simply for being famous? What other values will be compromised to achieve fame? Are those who are less attractive, less wealthy, and unknown to be pushed aside for our personal gain?
I also wonder where the church is in the midst of this craziness. Have we become so self-absorbed in building our church buildings (which are often monuments to us as much or more than they are to God), creating flashy programs (which seem an awful lot like pop culture activities), and showing how "good" we are (by hiding our sins or being so "tolerant" that we ignore God's word), that we have missed out on being salt and light?
One last thing I wonder is if we realize the battle we are in. Now, I am not naive or myopic enough to say that this is the only "culture war" in the history of the church. Frankly, I am getting weary of the "End Times" folks who think this is all a sign that the end is near. Have you ever studied the history of the Roman Empire? I am not a expert in history, but I know enough to know that the church was in a culture war while Peter, Paul, and the other apostles still walked the earth.
While the end of time as we know it may be around the corner, that isn't the point. The point is that God has called us to be faithful regardless of the calendar. We are in a battle. It is a fight; and it's not just a fight to get people into heaven. It is a battle to take back the ground that was lost in the Garden of Eden.
Sin has brought self-centered and prideful darkness to this creation that was pure. And contrary to many Evangelicals, we are not called to board a ship to be taken away from this evil world. We are called to disembark in this world for a battle to bring God's grace and mercy. The call of Christ is a rescue mission, but our self-centered, individualistic society has trained us that the rescue is for the sole purpose of getting us out of this sin-filled, evil world. The real rescue mission is one that followers of the Christ are called to join in. We must go into the world and rescue those who are suffering.
We must rescue those who seek relief by intoxicating their bodies to dull the pain and hurt.
We must rescue those who seek relief by surrendering their bodies sexually to receive love and acceptance.
We must rescue those who seek relief in a few minutes of fame to mask their insecurities.
We must rescue those who seek relief in social status to hide their fears of inadequacy.
We must rescue those who seek relief in getting attention because they feel unloved
We must rescue those who seek relief in material wealth because they are poor in spirit.
We are surrounded by people in need of rescue. And if the truth be told, we are all still in a state of needing rescued. Not the kind of rescue that comes from shallow religion, strict doctrine, and pew-sitting Christianity. This is only the kind of rescue that comes from engaging in the work of the Kingdom of God and living out the mission of Jesus in each one of our lives. Now that's the best thing in the world to me.

shine!
Jason

Relevant AND Resolute

How do we stay relevant to the culture around us while remaining resolute in our faith? This is a question that most honest Christians wrestle with. There are so many approaches.
On one extreme, we can say that culture is worthless so we withdraw and become monks who never interact with the culture around us.
On the other extreme are those who submerse themselves in culture and look for God in everything, regardless of the content that surrounds it.
How do we find a balance?
I don't have the answer, but I am on the journey.
While I acknowledge that we must be able to connect with those who don't know God, we must be careful to not be influenced. I know Christians who listen to all kinds of popular music to be relevant and connect with the culture. But I see many of these same people begin to exhibit the values of the culture in their life. What message does that send? When we allow the culture to shape our thinking, how does that match up with Paul's words in Romans 12?
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
We must always be searching for ways to touch the lives of those around us while living out the Kingdom of God.
There are always extremes people seem to be drawn towards...
What was the social gospel of the 70's all about? I believe it was an overreaction to the disconnected, "self-righteous" religion of the early 20th century. When Christians think they are better than everyone else and look down on others, the natural overreaction is to serve the lower classes while forgetting about purity.
This is what today's relevant movement seems to be about. I think there are some noble causes and concerns, and I share the concern. But what about purity?
I would also agree that many Christians, even today, worry so much about their own holiness that they miss Jesus' call to bring the Kingdom to earth. They would rather sit in a Christian bookstore, reading Christian novels, and listening to Christian music. And then they get in their car, drive home, and relax in their home while people around the world (and in their own community) suffer.
Don't get me wrong. I really enjoy Christian music and literature. But if we settle into our Christian ghettos and never spread the Kingdom of God, we are missing an important part of Jesus' call.
At the same time, there are other Christians who seem to worry so much about fitting in that they miss another part of the call. They sit in Starbucks, listening to top 40 music, and reading whatever is trendy at the moment. They get in their car, dial up some hip-hop in their iPod, and rush home to see the newest episode of their favorite show.
There is nothing inherently evil about enjoying today's culture. But can we get so comfortable in this world that we invest more energy in fitting in than reaching out?
Neither approach is completely wrong, but both seem to miss the point.
At my point on the journey it seems we need to seek a balance. We must protect our hearts and minds from the influence of culture while still engaging and connecting with those around us. But this hard work. It requires thought and diligence. It may require more effort than many want to give. (This might include me, if I am to be honest.)
I think that for most of my Christian walk I have tended to live in the Christian ghetto. I still listen to Christian music. But I acknowledge there is plenty of "good" stuff in the "secular" world. As if there are really two worlds.
Which leads me to a temporary side bar. I don't really think there is such a thing as "Christian" and "secular." Those might be two ends of a spectrum, but they are not separate worlds. Need an example? How do you explain a preacher who teaches that if we follow God, we will be blessed with money and possessions? Sounds like a secular Christianity to me. Or how about the musician who praises God when they win their Grammy, but his next album talks about exploiting women. Sounds like secular with a dose of Jesus.
Is God at work in the lives of those who live in the "secular" world? I absolutely believe He is. Can God send a message through those who are not really all that faithful and dedicated? Isn't that the basic message of much of the Old Testament?
But was God's message to the Israelites to continue fitting in with the culture around them to be relevant? I don't think so. I acknowledge that this is a new Covenant, but has God's nature or character changed?
No, we are no longer called to destroy our enemies. (Although American Christianity seems to endorse a continuation of the Crusades.) But we are still called to change our "enemies," not to fit in.
Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God said:
“I will live in them and walk among them. I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore, come out from among unbelievers, and separate yourselves from them, says the Lord. Don’t touch their filthy things, and I will welcome you. And I will be your Father, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:14-18)
So after a few bunny trails, I return to the question at hand. How can we be both relevant and resolute?
There is no simple answer. There is no formula. But the most concise answer might be Micah 6:8. No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. The questions we must all wrestle with are right in this passage.
What does it mean to do right?
What does it mean to love mercy?
What does it mean to walk humbly with your God?
I believe that in the answer to these three questions we answer the question of relevance versus resoluteness. Here we can find the way to be in the world but not of the world. Here we can pursue the path that God has called each of us to travel.
But it's not always easy to see. People for thousands of years have been seeking the path. And all of us have missed the point in someway. And in the future, if not today, people will consider the path we chose and see the error of our ways.
But isn't that part of the hope of the cross. Jesus didn't die so we could live a perfect life. His sacrifice enables us to pursue that path without fear of failure. We don't have to get it all right. That's the joy of the cross! Because when we are set free to learn from our failures and improve on the journey, then God's glory will truly be revealed and the Kingdom of God will be set loose here on earth.

shine!
Jason