Loving your enemy

Earlier this week, one of my students posed this question:

"On todays lesson, how would we have people we call enemies if we always love, never hate?"

This is a great question and I thought I would spend a few minutes responding. First of all, here is how the dictionary defines enemy: "A person who is actively opposed or hostile to someone or something." So based on that definition, an enemy would be someone who is opposed to or hostile towards you. So we would call them enemies, regardless of how we treat them.

But, let me get to the heart of the issue that may or may not be behind this particular question. I will begin by sharing a portion of the passage that was central to our conversation in class, Romans 12:17-21:

¹⁷Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. ¹⁸If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

²¹Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

No matter how much we love people, some will continue to choose to hate us. We may always love others, but that doesn't mean they have to return the favor. I believe this is what Paul is trying to say in the above passage. As much as we are able to, we should seek to live at peace with others. We should even extend love towards them regardless of their response.

But even if we could always show love - which, at least in my life is more of a goal than a reality - there will be times when people don't show love back. But God's desire is pretty clear. Regardless of whether others treat you as a friend or an enemy, show them love and grant them peace.

To be honest, this can be difficult. I don't want to treat someone kindly when they are rude to me. I don't want to show love when someone displays hatred towards me. I don't want to extend peace to someone who is waging war with me. But this is the path we choose when we follow Christ. It isn't always the easy road, but it is the way that leads to the abundant life.

At the end of the day, we may always have enemies, but we don't always have to be an enemy.

shine!
Jason

What are we doing to our children?

This morning I arrived at a local middle school shortly before 7:00am. As I was walking up to the flagpole, I heard a familiar sound. It was a marching band. I looked over to see the high school band on the field, under the lights. Since it wasn't even daylight yet, they needed the lights on to practice on the field.

This got me to thinking and asking the question posed in the title of this post: What are we doing to our children?

I have read various studies that seem to agree on two fundamental things about teenagers and sleep. First of all, they have found that as children move into adolescence, their bodies naturally shift to an later bedtime. When a teenager suddenly wants to stay up later, it seems they are responding to a change that God created to occur. The other thing they have discovered is that most teenagers need 8-1/2 to 9-1/2 hours of sleep each night. These findings are not from one random study. Almost all the studies I have encountered confirm this information.

It seems like our society has chosen to ignore this and keep on going. If we really listened to this data, would we do things like schedule a marching band practice that starts before 7:00am? (Trust me, I am not picking on marching band. I loved marching band in high school. This is just the tangible example I encountered this morning.)

What in the world are we doing? We're either stupid, blind, or so driven by something that we ignore the obvious.

Think about this...

We medicate a significant number of adolescents in this country for ADHD, ADD, depression, and a variety of other mental and emotional issues. (Let me take a time-out before I go any further. I have been working with teenagers for over a dozen years and there are certainly situations where medication is an appropriate and necessary part of treatment. There are students I have ministered to for whom some form of medication was the right response. I want to set the record straight on that before I continue.)

While I am not a doctor (and never even played one on TV), I think that we often use medicine as the solution and ignore the real problem, our inability to be grown-ups. It seems like we often fail our teenagers in several ways. Sometimes, I think that in our desire to help our children be successful, we push them to do as much as they can to build self-esteem, develop skills, fill their resume for college applications, and - if we're honest - to make us look like successful parents.

In addition, we sometimes struggle to tell our children to say no. I am always impressed with the parents who tell their children that they can only participate in one significant sport/activity at a time. I am not sure if these parents do this for their own sanity, to protect their children, or some of both. Whether it's the desire to have our children like us, an attempt to avoid one more thing to fight about, or some other reason, it seems like there are times when adolescents lack someone helping them say no to things.

Add to this the fact that just when adolescents need adult guidance the most, we often seem to be absent. Barbara Strauch, in her book The Primal Teen, outlines some recent discoveries about the development of the adolescent mind that show how physical changes in the brain significantly cloud the ability of teens to see consequences and the bigger picture in their decision-making process. When we ask teenagers, "Didn't you know that would happen if you did that?" and they say, "No," they aren't being defiant (well, at least much of the time). They're brains are going through changes that make it difficult for them to think about the consequences of their decisions.

So whether it's something as severe as a destructive decision or something as (seemingly) harmless as the inability to make wise decisions about how many things to get involved in, teenagers need guidance.

But here's the other side to this coin. They aren't eight-years-old any more. They are entering a phase a life where they need the freedom to make their own decisions, think for themselves, and (more than we would like) to make mistakes. We cannot hold their hand and make every decision for them.

Unfortunately, there isn't an instruction manual for all this. Every child is different and every family will have to navigate their own path through this phase of life. I don't have a teenager yet and I know that I will make my share of mistakes when we get there. I have made enough mistakes as a parent already, but I know there are more in the future.

I have digressed, so let me return to where I started. I am not writing this as a reaction to an individual family, but rather as a reaction to who we have become as a society.

I work with teenagers who struggle with depression, loneliness, anger, and a host of other emotional issues. In the last dozen years I have watched the frequency and level of these struggles increase. We medicate teens. We blame teens. We punish teens. We ask what's wrong with teens these days. We create more activities to keep them out of trouble. But it seems we avoid the real issue and the best solution.

Do we want to reduce teen suicide? Teen depression? Teen loneliness? I have a simple but challenging answer.

Sabbath.

We need to slow down. I am not just talking about our teens. I am talking about us, too. And in saying this I implicate myself. I am too busy. My schedule is too full. I have too many things on my personal calendar. I probably have too many things on my youth ministry calendar.

We are way too busy. In our drive to be successful, we are failing. While we try to build self-esteem, we are destroying ourselves. As we strive to find worth in performance, possessions, and popularity, we often feel worthless on the inside. We can never measure up to the expectations we place before us. We can never do enough. There is always more to do.

We are raising up a generation that doesn't know what rest is. When they're not running somewhere, they're surfing the web. When they're not engaged in some activity, they are listening to their iPod, watching TV, or playing video games. Text messages are sent and received all hours of the day. Nowhere is safe from the invasion of the cell phone.

I don't have an easy answer. If I am going to be completely honest, I often don't want to unplug and slow down either. Our society is addicted to being busy. There is usually time almost every day that I get frustrated with myself for not taking enough time to be still.

And this leads me to a good place to stop (I have gone on too long already). In all of our efforts to pursue happiness and success, we rob ourselves of opportunities to experience joy. In Psalm 46:10, God says, "Be still, and know that I am God." One of the questions parents ask me is, "Why are so many young people leaving the church?" An answer I often hear is that the church isn't relevant. While I agree that we need to communicate in ways that speak to our audience, I don't think that's the ultimate answer.

Maybe the reason so many of our children are abandoning their faith is because they don't slow down enough to hear God's voice. And if we want someone to blame, we should probably start by looking in the mirror.

shine!
Jason

See You at the Pole

This Wednesday, September 28, is the annual See You at the Pole. The theme this year is “Converge” and the focus Scripture is Matthew 18:20 (CEV): Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you. Below is some information I gathered from their website, www.syatp.com:

What is See You at the Pole™?

See You at the Pole™ is a global movement of prayer which is student-initiated, student-organized, and student-led. It revolves around students praying together on the fourth Wednesday in September, usually before school and usually at the school's flag pole. It involves student in elementary schools, middle/junior high schools, high schools, and colleges/universities across the globe. Adults often pray in support of the students on campus by gathering nearby, at their places of work or worship, or at city halls.

Why meet at the flagpole in front of the school?

In 1990 when youth ministers in Texas first challenged young people to meet on a common day to launch their school year in prayer, one of the concerns what how to help those who wanted to pray together find each other. It was noted that virtually every school has a flagpole, and the flagpole provided an easy-to-identify place to gather. Also, one issue that the teenagers were praying about was the spiritual health of their country and their leaders, in obedience to 1 Timothy 2:1–2. Hence, the location and name of the event!

How did See You at the Pole™ start?

See You at the Pole™ was inspired by the initiative of student in one youth group in Burleson, Texas, early in 1990. The teenagers felt led to go and pray at night at several area schools during a weekend youth group retreat. They had a profound time of prayer, and their experience was shared with thousands of other youth from across Texas in the form of a challenge in June 1990 at a large conference. More than 56,000 students on 1,200 campuses in Texas and three other states were documented at the first See You at the Pole™ in September of that year. The movement continued to grow nationally and internationally from 1991 on.

I want to encourage every student to participate in this event. It is an opportunity to join with other Christians in your school to pray for your friends, your teachers, and your school. It is a great chance to be blessed and to be a blessing to others.

 

shine!

Jason

 

Spiritual diet

Imagine you walk into your local Wendy’s to grab dinner. As you sit down, you notice a teenager sitting at a table not too far away. His mom is sitting across from him. No big deal, right? You see this all the time.

But here is where things get a little bizarre. His mom reaches into her purse and pulls out a jar of baby food. You watch in amazement as she pulls out a feeding spoon, opens the jar, and begins feeding her teenager.

Sound pretty weird? I am guessing that would draw a lot of attention and seem a little out of place. You might think, “Hey, shouldn’t he be eating a burger or something? Doesn’t this guy know how to feed himself? Doesn’t he want something with a little more substance than peas from a blender?”

Absolutely!

But here’s the irony. While we would think it’s ridiculous for a teenager to be spoon-fed baby food at Wendy’s, many teenagers think nothing of being spoon-fed spirituality. They continue to look for the soft meals that are easy to swallow and require little effort. These students – and if we’re going to be fair, some adults as well – don’t want to move beyond the baby food when it comes to growing spiritually.

In Hebrews 5:11-14, we read the following: We have much to say about this, but it is hard to make it clear to you because you no longer try to understand. In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

Are you settling for the milk – the baby food – when it comes to spiritual growth? Are you maturing as a follower of Christ or are you still sitting in a spiritual preschool?

Sometimes maturing in our spirituality is hard work. It requires us to make sacrifices and change our priorities. It demands that we seek righteousness in our thinking and actions. It will often lead us to places where we must make difficult decisions. But the further we travel down the path, the more we will experience the joy, peace, and abundant life that Jesus talks about.

You stopped eating baby food a long time ago, right? Is it time for you to change your “eating” habits in your spiritual diet?

 

shine!
Jason

 

Ten years ago today

Ten years ago today, nearly 3,000 people lost in their lives in the most deadly terrorist attack in American history. I remember spending much of the day watching news coverage as our nation – and much of the world – stood in shock from the day’s events. The scenes of planes crashing into buildings, people jumping from windows and falling over 1,000 feet to their deaths, and skyscrapers collapsing are forever etched in my mind.

But I also remember moments that brought hope into a dark moment of history. Firefighters, along with volunteers who just showed up, were digging through the rubble looking for survivors. On a plane flying over Pennsylvania, a handful of passengers overcame those who had hijacked their plane and prevented even further death and destruction. Members of Congress – who spend much of their time tearing one another down – stood together in a sign of unity. Across the nation, people gathered together to pray and comfort one another.

While that was a tragic day that changed our nation, the reality is that darkness surrounds us every day. People die from drug abuse. Poverty causes millions to suffer starvation and malnutrition. Children and adults suffer from physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. The list could go on and on, but we must realize that the darkness isn’t just in the places you would expect.

People in suburbs live in nice homes and have a comfortable lifestyle, but sometimes their lives are hollow and lonely. Families that might look good on the outside, often struggle with anger, resentment, depression, and abandonment. Darkness doesn’t care about your social status, your bank account, or your profession. No one is immune.

We live in a world where darkness occasionally makes it presence known with a grand display, such as September 11, 2001, but where it more often subtly sneaks into our lives and the lives of those around us. As we remember a very dark day that occurred ten years ago, we must also be vigilant every day as darkness seeks to overcome us in ways that aren’t so visible or obvious.

Today, we should take a minute to reflect on what happened ten years ago. We should honor those who lost their lives, whether innocent victims or heroic responders. But we must also take a minute to reflect on our own lives to determine what we are doing today to bring light to a world full of darkness.

In Ephesians 5:8-10, Paul writes, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.”

Whether it’s terrorists flying planes into skyscrapers or the person at your school who is bullying others, darkness is all around us. Live in such a way that your life brings the fruit of the light into every situation you encounter.

 

shine!
Jason

 

The Big Idea

Starting in September, we will be kicking off a new church-wide initiative on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. We will be using The Big Idea as a way to help us think more deeply about a particular theme. Our Sunday morning sermon, adult Bible classes, and teen classes will approach this main theme from a variety of angles and perspectives.

The first theme is “Who We Are,” and will run for the month of September. Here is The Really Big Idea that will drive our theme:

We so what we are. Our activity is the result of our identity. We serve a God who created us for community, called us to greater faith and discipleship, and empowered is to partner with him in service for his kingdom. Especially in times of transition, we need to remind ourselves that as the church we have a mission and calling that is rooted in God. As we transition in our leadership, we are standing firm in our commitment to being the people of God who will live as his people in this time and place – Rochester Church is still a place where people can connect, grow, and serve in Christ.

It is a great time to be the church. As the church, we are the people of God – we are defined and identified by his presence. And out identity points us towards our activity. In short, we do what we are. Put another way, our activity is the result of our identity. In every season, we must remind ourselves that we serve a God who created us for community, called us to greater faith and discipleship, and empowered us to partner with him in service for his kingdom. This is the mission of the Rochester Church of Christ.

Our Sunday morning and Wednesday evening series will both take different angles on this theme. The Sunday morning series, BFF, will consider what it means to make our relationship with God the central piece of our identity. On Wednesday nights, we will look at what it means to make godly love a core characteristic of who we are.

I am looking forward to this Fall and all of the opportunities we will have to explore what it means to live in God’s kingdom.

 

shine!
Jason